By nature, we are loving and compassionate beings.  Sometimes I know that I do not emulate that.  Because I rely on my feelings and emotions as a guide, I know that there are times when I’m experiencing negative emotions or resistance, so I know I’m further from the person that I want to be.  I know during those times that I’m not being authentic or true to myself, and I know that I am not living in my natural state of being.   Love and compassion are in short supply.  It can be so frustrating to experience this, especially when I am aware of it and long to be back to who I want to be!

Maybe you’re trying to figure out yourself if you’re on a path that allows you to be true to yourself.  Maybe you know you’re not, but you’re looking to get back to being more “authentically you.”  If you feel you’re “selling out,” it’s pretty obvious that you’re not in line with your authentic self.  You know you’re not being authentic because each day you’re doing something that you fundamentally know to be something you don’t believe in or stand for, but you’re doing it for whatever reasons you are.

Perhaps you feel like life just isn’t fun, or that life seems a little bit “empty” and not fulfilling to you.  This is another great indicator that you may not be completely in line with your authentic self.  It can be pretty frustrating when you know something doesn’t feel right for you, but you don’t know what to do to get out of that “rut” that you’re in.

Here are three easy ways that you can become more authentically “you” and enjoy life on your terms, doing what you enjoy and tapping into your more compassionate and loving self:

1. Don’t do it if it isn’t play

I am still amazed how often people put themselves last when it comes to taking care of people.  I’m not saying that you have to always be thinking “me, me, me,” and never do anything for anyone else.  But, isn’t it possible to do something for someone else, yet enjoy it in the process?  A lot of unhappiness comes from simply doing things that help other people, but at the same time you find little or no enjoyment in it.  I’m going to tell you here and now that no, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.  If you feel obligated to do something for someone, then it’s a creation of your own mind.  You are never obligated to do anything for anyone.  If it’s not “play” for you, then don’t do it.  If you’re serving everyone else but you, you’re going to feel frustrated and angry, but you did it to yourself.

2. Explore your core values

Just ask yourself, “What are my innermost values?“  If you aren’t sure what this means, then ask yourself, “What do I stand for?  What defines my actions?”  Maybe your core values would include honesty, love, respect, or gratitude.  Once you can identify what your core values are, the rest is easy.  It’s just comparing what you’re doing or what you’re thinking of doing to your core values.  You just need to ask yourself whether this activity is in line with your core values.  If it is, then go ahead and do it.  If it’s not, then it’s not authentically you, and you probably would be better served if you chose not to engage in that activity.  If you find you’re  a bit stuck, and you are at a loss as to what examples of values may be, or whether something is a value, the wonderful Barrie Davenport has put together an awesome list of 400 values!  Just click here and I’ll guide you to that page.  You’ll love it!

3. Stop insisting on being right

We get so stuck on playing the game called “Who’s right?”  You may be asking, “What’s the big deal about being right?  Can it be that harmful?”  Well, I wouldn’t call it “harmful,” but I would call it counterproductive and counterintuitive.  When we insist on being right, we’re turning preferences into judgments.  Instead of saying, for example, “I like the color blue,” we’re saying “Blue is the right color to like.”  If anyone prefers a different color, their color would be the “wrong” color to like if we continue to play the “Who’s right?” game.  If you can shift from “right-wrong” thinking to preferential thinking, you’ll soften your stance and have much more appreciation for other people and their preferences.  You’ll see that everyone has things they like or enjoy, and they’re entitled to enjoy them and prefer them, just as you are.  Eliminating “right-wrong” thinking is a great way to simply become more compassionate and empathic toward other people, because you begin to see how we’re all connected and similar in so many ways.  By respecting other people’s preferences as opposed to judging their choices and determining whether they’re “right or wrong,” you begin to let go of judgmentalism.  The less you judge the less you feel the need to control external circumstances and the less energy you spend defending your position.

I really hope that these three simple steps will help you become more “authentically you.”  Life is just much more fun and enjoyable when you can just be who you are with no apologies or regrets.

Did you find this article helpful?  Did something really resonate with you or speak to you today?  If it did, please let me know!  I’d love to hear about it!

Photo: http://www.sxc.hu/profile/Krappweis

On my radio show this week:

On Monday at 12:00 PM Central I will be welcoming “Modern Day Freedom Fighter” Sandi Amorim to my radio show to talk about  reclaiming our personal freedom and how to use it to discover what’s possible!

Click on Sandi’s picture above to listen to the show!

I used to be a real “jerk.”  Seriously.  I can’t go back and change the past, which sometimes makes looking back at how I used to conduct myself even more difficult and frustrating.

I used to say horribly rude things to people — to their faces — and laugh about it.  I used to tease and poke fun at people and enjoy it.  I used to have fun at the expense of other people.  I said things that were hurtful and I used to find pleasure in other people’s pain.

I am at a much better place now.  I can’t say that I’m perfect!  I still have my moments, but I can definitely live better with who I am now than who I used to be.  I’ve been thinking about what life was for me back then and why I acted the way I did, and I wanted to share some “confessions” I have as a recovering “jerk.”

1. Even though I seemed to enjoy making fun of people, at the end of the day I still didn’t feel any better.

I think the reason why this was the case was because I wasn’t contributing any positive energy toward anyone.  Negative energy is negative energy, and when you’re dishing it out, nothing positive is really coming back to you.  No wonder I didn’t feel good about myself or anything else!  I was not helping myself get any positive wishes or energy from anywhere or anyone.

2. Life was full of obstacles and unfortunate events around every corner.

This is in many ways related to confession number one above.  My life was a reflection of my inside.  I didn’t have much joy or happiness, and if they came my way it was only for a short duration.  I wasn’t resonating with positivity or happiness, that’s for sure.  I was giving energy to everything I didn’t want, focusing on what was bad in life rather than putting my efforts into what I would actually like to see out of my life.  Struggle and resistance were no strangers to me during this time in my life.

3. I had something to hide.

Yes, I had something to hide, and that was my pain.  To try to cover up the pain that I was enduring internally, I figured I could create a lot of noise externally to take attention away from me.  I was suffering, and I was in a lot of emotional pain, but you never would have guessed it because I was brash, cocky, sarcastic, and obnoxious.  Yeah, I thought I was pretty funny, but the people who were the butt of my jokes probably thought I was just slapped me with the label of being a jerk.  They were right.  And I was just trying to hide from my pain.

4. I was afraid.

I was afraid of a lot of things.  I was afraid of change.  I was afraid of failure.  I was afraid that life wouldn’t get any better.  I was afraid to take chances and I was afraid of being an outcast.  My strategy for dealing with my fears was to give in to my ego.  I let my self interests and my selfish thinking take over.  I made sure that I squashed any potential threats to my security and safety.  I would get verbally aggressive with other people.  I would raise my voice and complain publicly.  I would shout and scream sometimes to get my point across.  The bottom line is that I was afraid and selfish all at the same time.

5. Life wasn’t much fun at all.

When you take confessions one through four and put them all together, it’s absolutely true that life wasn’t much fun at all.  It was full of empty happiness and one disappointment after another.  I was fearful and obnoxious, and I wasn’t an enjoyable person to be around.  I’m quite surprised that anyone cared to hang around with me and all of my negative energy at all!  Life wasn’t grand and life was certainly not wonderful at all.  Not in the least.

So what happened to turn things around for me?  To be honest, it was an inside-out process.  I had to come to the realization that I couldn’t continue to live the way I was living.  It was as if something deep down within me knew that this person I had become was not my true self.  Deep down, I stood for something else, and there was a small flickering flame within that represented what I really stood for.

I started to throw some kindling on that small flame and it started to grow from within.  That fire grew stronger and greater as time went on, and I was able to recognize my core beliefs and values as they started to come to the surface.  My compassion for others grew and I became more empathetic and in tune with myself and others.  Most of all, I realized that my happiness doesn’t come as a result of depriving others of happiness.  My happiness is in direct correlation with the amount of happiness I try to bring to others.

So here I am, still imperfect in many ways, and still a work in progress.  As much as that may be true, at least I am happy with where I am right now, and I’m thrilled about where I am going.

If you’re struggling to find who you really are and if you’re searching for a better life, I hope that you can look within and find that part of you, deep inside, that will speak up and tell you who you really are and what you stand for.  It definitely helps to meditate and find peace within yourself and listen for that “inner voice” which will tell you what you need to hear.  I wish you the best as you continue your work to be someone you can be proud to look at in the mirror!

Are there any other recovering “jerks” out there?  Does this article resonate with you?  Do you have anything to add or comment upon?  I’d love to hear from you!

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Photo: http://www.sxc.hu/profile/samplediz

The following is a guest post by Adam Palmer of Astral Zen.  Please join me in welcoming Adam!

My college teachers always said I was a dreamer – ironic really. Dreaming is one of the greatest gifts we have available to us. We spend a third of our lives asleep, yet so little is known about sleep and dreaming. As we grow older, those long, vivid, childhood dreams start to fade to the point that we hardly dream at all. The good news is that we can reverse this, and we can do it quickly.

Why would you want to?

Don’t for one minute think that the dreams you have right now are all there is to dreaming. Imagine your own private universe, more vivid and realistic than this. Imagine a launch pad to alternate realities, unlimited potential and freedom. Imagine flying to the moon or diving to the depths of the ocean. We live in an immensely powerful dynamic multi-dimensional world. Remember when a good quality VHS was the best we had, and then contrast that to ultra-fine HD. This reality that you’re used to is the VHS – there’s so much more out there.

Now, I won’t lie – more advanced dreaming techniques take practice and patience.  The good news however, is that within just a couple of days, you’ll start to notice a big difference.

I’d like to set you off on the first few steps of your journey.

Step #1 – Stop destroying your sleep

You need to be doing everything you can to create favourable sleep and dream conditions. There are three main changes that you can make for the most profound impact –

1. Coffee, sugar, cigarettes, alcohol and most recreational drugs dramatically affect your dream sleep. Although many report vivid or bizarre dreams, it’s usually down to something called “REM rebound.” You’re not actually building on your dream or sleep quality, and you’re not going to be able to advance in dreaming whilst under the influence! Best avoided as much as possible.

2. Most pharmaceuticals interfere with dream and sleep to some degree, even if only subtly. Of course, I am by no means suggesting that you stop taking essential medication. If you do however take any medication that may not be strictly necessary, it may be worth considering a discussion with your doctor about stopping.

3. Mental stimulation comes in all forms, now more than ever. Try to avoid cell phones, TV, PCs and laptops for at least a couple of hours before bed. Reading a book in bed is the best way to prepare yourself for a sound sleep and clear dreams.

For some, these steps may require some significant lifestyle changes. I’m personally terrible when it comes to using the laptop in bed. It’s not an all or nothing decision – anything you’re able to do will help.

Step #2 – Dream Diary

Now you’ve set yourself up for a great natural sleep, it’s time to start getting those dreams back. Believe it or not, you do dream – you just don’t remember it any more. When you first wake up, either during the night or in the morning, don’t move a muscle or open your eyes. Run through everything you can remember about your dreams in your mind. Don’t worry if you can’t remember anything other than a vague feeling or emotion – that’s absolutely fine. Just mentally re-experience it as clearly as you can. As soon as you’ve got it straight, get it straight down in your dream diary. Feel free to include images as well as words.

As you’re about to sleep that night, take a few minutes to read through your dream diary. Try to re-experience the dreams, feelings and emotions in as much detail as possible.

Just keeping up this quick and easy practice will result in a huge increase in your dream quality and memory within a matter of days.

Step #3 – Lucid Dreaming

Your mind is clear, and you’re dreams are increasing in quality and quantity – it’s now time to go lucid. A lucid dream is a dream in which you know you are dreaming. Once that happens, you can do absolutely anything you want. Conjure up situations, fly, travel, explore and learn. As you wish it, it unfolds. Lucid dreaming in itself is a massive subject, but once you’ve hit one – believe me you’ll know it. Here are my top 3 techniques –

1. As you’re falling asleep, focus your mind and mentally repeat, “I am lucid dreaming.” Don’t just say the words, actually imagine it and put life into it. If you wake up in the night, don’t just roll over and go straight back to sleep. Get up for a few moments, go to the bathroom, take a sip of water, and start the repetition exercise above.

2. Throughout the day, perform “reality checks”. Try to push your finger through your opposite palm and try to pinch your nose and at the same time breathe through it. If you do this enough times during waking, you’ll find yourself doing it in dreaming, and guess what – it’ll work! You’ll then immediately realize you’re dreaming.

3. As you re-live the dreams from your dream journal, imagine yourself as fully lucid and aware within them.

Again, it’s not all or nothing. Any practice you’re able to do will be beneficial in increasing your chances of getting lucid. With practice, you’ll come to realize that dream and sleep isn’t just 8 hours each day written off – quite the opposite in fact. Sweet dreams!

About Adam: 

I’ve been consciously practising lucid dreaming and exploring the out of body state for over 10 years now. Now I want to help others share the experience.

Please take some time to leave your thoughts below on Adam’s piece, and please visit Adam at his site, www.Astralzen.com.

Photo: By Massimo Barbieri (Own work) [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart” ~Helen Keller

A couple of years ago I was preparing to take a trip to California.  I remember packing a handful of honeycrisp apples into my luggage for snacking when I reached my destination.  Once I got to my room, I took out the apples and had one or two a day until they were gone.

For me, it was my first trip to California, and I was alone, so it was nice to bring something with me to remind me of home and actually (and literally) provide me with a taste of home while I was far away from it.

It’s a simple concept, really.  If I wanted to enjoy the taste of honeycrisp apples when I was away from home, I just needed to bring some along with me so that I could enjoy them while I was there.  We can take this same concept and apply it when it comes to our own emotions to do essentially the same thing.

In many ways we have been conditioned to allow our external environment to influence our feelings inside.  We allow what people say or do to impact us and define our feelings.  We allow the circumstances of the world around us to shape our emotions.  We process internal emotions after taking in the external.  We’ve got it backwards in a sense.  We need to go inside first, and allow our internal feelings to have the first crack at establishing our emotional setpoints and dispositions.

If we want to be happy and positive no matter where we find ourselves, we have to take the first step and “bottle up” the positive emotions we wish to carry with us.  When I say “bottle up” the feelings, I don’t mean to suppress them.  I mean to capture them and internalize them.

For example, one of the most wonderful emotions I bottle up every chance I get is a positive experience with my daughters.  If it’s a hug, or a kiss, or a picture that one of them draws for me, I bottle it up.  If it’s a little hand holding mine, or a light moment, or an engaging conversation, I hold on to it.

Grab that positive emotion.  Bring it down to your heart.  Feel it as it warms you.  Notice the smile on your face as you dwell on that positive feeling for a few seconds.  Capture it.  Feel it.  Experience it.  Love it.

The next step is to remain present.  Always live in the present.  Life exists in the present.  Tomorrow never comes, and we can never get yesterday back.  Live moment to moment, just like our emotions and feelings.  Our feelings change quickly as time progresses.  They are always changing and never constant.  Just as feelings can come and go, we can always move quickly to bring back into present awareness those positive feelings that were bottled up and captured.

Think of those positive experiences.  Bring them back to the heart.  Feel them as they warm you.  Notice that you’re smiling again.  Enjoy it.  Embrace it.  Love it.

As long as you pack along your positive emotions of love, compassion, warmth, and positivity, you will never be without them when you need them the most.  Bring along with you those most prized possessions that you carry in your heart no matter where you go.  Bring that internal warmth and love along with you as you venture into unknown situations and locations.  Carry with you compassion and positivity as you step into the uncertainty of life.

As long as you bring them along with you, your positive emotions will be your constant companions, ready to warm your heart and bring you love every step of the way.  No matter where you go, you’ll be ready.

What positive experiences can you or do you “bottle up” to bring with you?  I’d like to hear from you!

Photo source: http://www.sxc.hu/profile/jan-willem

“Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.”  ~Aristotle

Happiness is so important in maintaining a feeling of well being, but as important as it is for our positive self-esteem and health, it seems ever so elusive.  It’s almost as if the moment we find happiness there is something looming in the future, poised and ready to knock us out of our happy state.  Maybe it’s an unfortunate turn of events, or maybe it’s a feeling you get of not being accepted or good enough, or even a feeling of being excluded and alone.

Yet, there are some people who seem to be happy most of the time, no matter what happens to them.  What is it about them that allows them to be happy so often, while it seems to be a continual struggle for others?  What is going on within them that isn’t going on within those who struggle to find happiness?

In his book, The Emotional Life of Your Brain, Dr. Richard Davidson discusses “the vast diversity of ways to be human: emotional states, emotional traits, personality, and temperament.”

Happiness is categorized by Davidson as an “emotional state.” An emotional state is “The smallest, most fleeting unit of emotion…Typically lasting only a few seconds, it tends to be triggered by an experience.”

So perhaps the unrealized flaw in trying to secure happiness is that we are caught up in the pursuit of something that is fleeting and transient in nature.  Maybe this is why we grow so frustrated when we want happiness so badly, but it seems like as soon as something comes up, our happiness disappears.  Perhaps pursuing happiness is like trying to catch a butterfly with your hands.  As soon as you think you’ll capture it, it slips away at the last second.

Davidson goes on to say that a feeling that persists for a few hours to days is categorized as a “mood, of the ‘he’s in a bad mood’ variety.”  A feeling that extends beyond days into years can be described as an “emotional trait.”  This would describe people who seem to always be happy and pleasant.  This is because, as Davidson describes it, “An emotional trait increases the likelihood that you will experience a particular emotional state because it lowers the threshold to feel such an emotional state.”

The “deepest” level of feeling is categorized as an “emotional style.”  This is described as “…a consistent way of responding to the experiences in our lives.”  Davidson says, “Emotional style influences the likelihood of feeling particular emotional states, traits, and moods.”

In other words, in order for us to experience “happiness,” we really need to address the way we choose to respond to the experiences of life.  If we can alter the way we respond to life experiences, we’ll make changes to our emotional traits.  In turn, when we modify our emotional traits it will affect our emotional state.”

So this is fine and well, except for the fact that you may be wondering just how we can go about changing the way we respond to life experiences.  I think the first step in doing this is in the book Global Healing: Thinking Outside the Box, written by one of my favorite guests on my radio show, Vipin Mehta.

Vipin writes, “The majority of human beings live their lives according to the life script written by others.  However, a small percentage of humanity rewrites their life script by creating new choices and decisions based on what they want to become.  By rewriting their life script, they change their beliefs and attitudes of the subconscious mind.”

I agree with him.  How many times do we define whether we are “happy” or “not happy” based on what happens “to” us?  I believe we do it very often.  Actually, Davidson said as much when he said that an emotional state “tends to be triggered by an experience.”  This usually is an “external” experience.

Therefore, the shift needs to be made from choosing to allow the “outside” experiences to trigger an emotional state of happiness toward allowing “internal” experiences to trigger an emotional state.  Insight on how we can do this also comes from Vipin’s book.

Vipin describes “three major compelling, propelling, and driving forces in life.”  These are “human needs, human desires, and the human drive to know the mysteries of Life.”  When it comes to human needs, where are we looking for satisfaction of these needs?  Are we looking for “external” or “internal” fulfillment?  Is our happiness contingent upon outside forces?

Vipin describes two types of esteem: one is “false” esteem and the other is “true.”  The “dividing point” between the two, or the vehicle to get from “false” to “true” esteem is “self-esteem.”  However, in order to get to “self-esteem,” we need to address and meet three other needs first.  Those needs are “survival, security, and belonging.”

When you think of your need for security, can you think of someone who, when you think of them, provides you with feelings of safety, trust, stability, and security?  Picture that person in your mind right now.  Take a moment to feel within you how you feel when you’re with them.  Feel that warmth in your heart.  Capture that feeling.  Try to re-create that feeling at will.

When you think of your need for belonging, can you think of one or more people who, when you think of them, provide you with feelings of unconditional love, respect, trust, and acceptance?  Imagine that you are with that person right now.  Take a moment to feel within you how you feel inside when you’re with them.  Feel that warmth in your heart.  Capture that feeling.  Try to re-create that feeling at will.

You’ll find that when you can create these feelings within you, you are meeting your needs for security and belonging.  You’ll also realize that you are meeting those needs based on your own feelings, and not the feelings of someone else.  You’ll find that your sense of value and worth and belonging does not originate from outside factors.  You’ll see that your own feelings, created within you, are establishing your sense of belonging and security.

Once you can make the transition of “triggering” your emotions from an internal event, rather than outside, you can move from “false” esteem to “true” esteem.  When you can go within to create the emotional conditions you desire at will, you will make a fundamental shift in your self-esteem.  You’ll find that you are not dependent on the approval of others or at the mercy of unexpected events to define your emotions.

The power to be happy is within you.  It is in your ability to create, at will, those warm feelings of love, security, safety, acceptance, and trust within you.  When you can create those feelings internally, you will create an internal environment that will change your perceptions of the events that are happening around you.  Your emotional style will be reflected in your emotional traits, and your emotional traits will give way to the positive emotional state of happiness which you desire.

Photo source: http://www.sxc.hu/profile/winjohn

If I told you that you were a mind reader, would you believe me?  I think it’s safe to say that when we picture someone reading our minds, we think of someone sitting in some sort of contraption, designed to measure brainwaves and extract the deep thoughts in our minds.  The truth is that all of us were designed to read minds, and the equipment is so much more sophisticated than these so-called “contraptions.  The good news is that we were all born with them!

I used to sit at a piano, and loudly sing certain notes while holding down one of the pedals under the keyboard called the “sustain” pedal.  It was interesting to me because if I sang a certain note, the corresponding string that “played” that same note would vibrate, and I could hear the piano “playing” that note after I stopped singing.  The reason why I was able to hear that note being played is because of “resonance.”

(Warning: scientific mumbo jumbo ahead — skip this paragraph if you will fall asleep before it’s over) My vocal cords (vocal folds, as they are really called) have to vibrate in order to make a sound.  Those vibrations compress the air at a certain frequency, and those compressed air waves travel through the air.  The reason we are able to hear those sounds is because our eardrums vibrate at that same frequency, and then it moves some small bones in the ear and then it compresses a fluid chamber in our ear which then vibrates a “hair” in our ears that also vibrates at that same frequency.  When that hair vibrates, it causes a nerve signal to be sent to the brain, and the brain interprets that signal and we perceive it as a sound. (Scientific mumbo jumbo done)

Those vibrations also can travel through the air and cause resonant vibration of the strings on the piano, causing that “note” to be “played.”  They are vibrating at the same frequency.

Our brains are also electro-magnetic organs.  This means that they have the ability to create their own electro-magnetic waves at a certain frequency.  This frequency radiates outward into our environment.  We just can’t see or hear or feel them because the frequency is outside of our audio and visual spectrum.

However, because our brains are electro magnetic, they can respond to electrical or magnetic impulses.  It has been shown that strong magnets placed over certain areas of the brain can cause movement in parts of our bodies.  This is because the magnet can “resonate” at a frequency in which it causes a physiological change in the neurons, which then “fire” and cause the muscles to contract.

All this science comes together to explain how we may be able to “read” each other’s minds.  I did a very informal and crude experiment with a group that I was speaking to this past summer.  I asked them to think of a time when they were really angry, and then tell someone next to them about it.  I walked up and down the middle of the room, and I felt like I was being pelted with all of this negative energy.

The negative thought patterns were affecting the electro-magnetic radiations of the brain, which then radiated outward into the environment.  I could just feel this heavy, angry energy hitting me all over.  I am certain that if someone walked into the room at that moment in time they would have wondered what in tarnation was going on in there that was getting people so worked up.  The room absolutely vibrated with this harsh and heavy energy and sound.

Then, I asked these same people to turn their thoughts to a very happy memory, and tell the person next to them about it.  As I walked up and down the mile of the room, I started to feel different feelings.  I felt lighter, almost like walking on clouds.  The energy softened and was pleasurable.  The audience who participated in this experiment also noticed a huge difference.

We are able to unknowingly “pick up” resonant vibrational frequencies from the people around us.  Some people do this almost intuitively, which gives them this strong “intuitive” sense about things or people.  It’s like they have these “gut” feelings about things that usually end up being true.

Some of us (me included) have to work a bit harder to pick up on these cues.  I have found that one of the best ways to try to tune into people is to actually move out of the head and into the heart. The heart gives out an electro-magnetic wave that is about 50 times stronger than that of the brain.  I have found that trying to connect with the heart has yielded much more success.  I can better read what’s going on with a person.

I don’t know if it’s because I am using a stronger “reading” instrument or if it’s because I am connecting “heart to heart” with someone else, but I know that I have become a much better “mind” reader when using my heart instead of my head.

Either way, you really can’t go wrong.  As long as you try to connect with whatever is alive in that person, and try to figure out what a person is going through at the moment, you’re doing a great job of trying to establish a “mind reading” connection with someone else.

If you’re trying to figure out what’s going on with someone, just start asking yourself some questions.  Ask yourself, “Why is this person doing or saying what they are doing? What is the driving factor?” Or, try asking yourself, “What is it that this person is getting at?  What is it that they are asking for or what do they need and feel they’re not getting?”  These probing questions can sort of put you into a “scanning” mode, allowing you to be open to “pick up” any resonant frequencies that may help give you a clue.

So yes, we do have the ability to read minds.  It just comes easier to some more than others, but we all have the ability.  By moving from the head to the heart, and by asking these probing questions, we can get better at reading minds, and we can also put ourselves in a position to help those around us who may really “need” us to read their minds, but don’t even realize it.

For a fantastic read on effective tips and techniques to read people’s minds, I recommend checking out this article: https://www.cleverism.com/rеаding-people-like-a-cia-profiler/

Photo: http://www.sxc.hu/profile/artM

“Lost time is never found again.” ~Benjamin Franklin

Time management is something that I struggle with on a daily basis.  The problem is that we can’t add more time to the day, and we can’t create more time.  Time is fixed, so we have to cram in as much in the twenty-four hours we have each day.  We can’t really sacrifice sleep, although I am extremely guilty of pushing bedtime off as late as I can!  Mornings come too early for me.  I don’t know what it is, but I am not one of those “get up at 5 AM so you can get more done” types.  While I may have good intentions to do so, 5 AM and I just don’t get along!  For me, squeezing out more time in the evening works well, because I am a bit of a “night owl,” as it were.

Regardless of the attempts to either add more time to the morning or evening, we still have a relatively “fixed” time in the middle that we have to maximize to do what we need to do.  I’ve had more of my fair share of days when I have a long list of things to do, and the next thing you know, a lot of time has passed and not much has gotten done!  I don’t know about you, but it frustrates me when I find that my day was consumed by the minutia of tasks that really don’t do much for getting me past the starting point.

One technique that I have tried, and it has worked well, is implementing what I call the “Big Three” method to my planning, and I wanted to share it with you.

Here’s how it works…Before you do anything, think of the top three activities that possess the greatest “value” in your opinion.  These are the activities that have the potential to provide you with the biggest returns, if you will.

Make a list of those top three items — write them down.  Now, make a list of all the tasks you need to complete for the day.  Determine which tasks on your list align with your “big three.”  If the task on your list is related to one of the “big three,” circle it.  If it doesn’t align with one of the “big three,” leave it uncircled.

Focus on those items which are circled.  You can even prioritize the circled items.  You’ll find that about 80 percent of the items on your list don’t add much value to your day, in that they don’t align with your “big three.”

If you stick to that 20 percent of the items on your list that align with your “big three,” and do those first, you’ll be amazed at how much you can get done.  Once you complete those items, you can then start to chip away at the “smaller,” less important items if you wish.  You can even delegate them or eliminate them.

One other word of advice: when you work, work!  Make sure that everything you do during your dedicated work time is work and not consumed with reading the news, chatting on the phone, taking a walk, or things that are time consumers but don’t hold any value.

In applying the “big three” methodology in my life, I have noticed that I have more time dedicated to doing the work I truly love and getting the most value out of that time.  Not only that, but because I can get so much important work done during that work time, I have more time “outside” of work to enjoy the activities that feed my spirit and soul, like spending time with my family.

If you give this a shot, please let me know what you think.  I’d love to hear about it!

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It’s always pretty cool when you discover something new without even realizing it, and that’s exactly what happened to me last week.  The weather was absolutely gorgeous, and our daughters were staying with Grandma and Grandpa, so we had a rare evening with no children to look after.  The timing was right; it was a beautiful evening.  I decided to take a walk.

I took our dog, Lily, along with me.  She relishes the opportunity to take in the sights and smells anytime she gets the opportunity to come along for a walk.  I love where I live, because I live in a subdivision that gives us a sense of living in a city, with sidewalks and lots of homes around us, but also a mix of nature too.  We don’t have to look far to see trees and forests and walking paths along the river that weaves throughout our community.

Lily and I started on our walk and we made our way to a path along the river.  I just loved hearing the wind in the trees and the singing of the birds.  Every once in a while, I heard a splash come from the river, which was ripe with life and activity.  I watched as Lily took frequent stops to take inventory of whatever animal had passed through sometime in the past, before giving her a gentle tug to bring her back to me to continue our walk.

Before I knew it, I realized that I was in a deep meditative state.  I realized that right then and there, I was engrossed in the present — the here and now.  I wasn’t thinking about the future, and I wasn’t thinking about the past.  I really wasn’t thinking about anything for that matter.  I was simply enjoying the simplicity of the moment, without a thought of anything else.

Truth to be told, once I made the realization, I kind of wish I hadn’t, because then I had to make an effort to continue to “not think” of anything, and keep my thoughts on just “being.”  Nevertheless, I enjoyed it thoroughly.

Like any meditation, it took me a while to transition from conscious awareness of my surroundings as I began my walk, and as I neared the end of my lengthy walk, I started to transition back from my meditative state to that conscious awareness again.  It was really cool.

As recently as two years ago, I was under the impression that meditation had to be this orchestrated and deliberate practice, where I had to take time to sit and do it.  On top of that, I didn’t even know what I was “supposed to do” when I was meditating anyway.

The reason I am sharing this with you is because I don’t want you to miss out on the wonderful benefits of meditation, especially if you love to walk, but struggle with finding time to meditate.  You can do both and benefit from both!

Give it a try!  Try the “walking meditation,” and see how it goes for you.  Just “be” and enjoy your surroundings.  Observe the nuances of nature and the small details of things you never had noticed before.  Be observant of the wildlife that surrounds you.  Start with a small focus, and then broaden your level of awareness.

I started out by focusing on the plants that I passed as I walked.  I just looked at their color and design.  I then broadened my level of awareness to the point where I tried to take in everything within my entire visual field.  I did the same thing for sound; I started by focusing on one particular sound, and then I worked to broaden my awareness to the point where I was trying to take in every single sound, from the movement of the animals in the water to the distant hum of traffic.  It was pretty cool, and best of all, it was easy too.

If you do try it out, or if you are thinking about giving it a shot, let me know about it.  I would love to hear from you!

Who would have thought?  A “walking meditation.”  How cool is that?
Photo source: freedigitalphotos.net