Category Archives for "Self-empowerment and dealing with difficult people"

First Grade Tales and Trials | VictorSchueller.com

By Dr. Victor Schueller | belief systems

Facebook user? Click the “Like” button below and get my newest publication, “Unlock Your Inner Awesome Today” for free!  That’s it!

 

chalk

“You are a spirit with a soul who is having a human experience.” ~Nick Bunick

Tuesdays are a weekly highlight for me.  I get the opportunity to join my older daughter for lunch.  I go to her school, and I get to sit with a bunch of first graders and eat with them.  If you have never had the opportunity to get a front-row seat to hear the conversations that take place at the lunch table, you’re missing out.  It’s quite the experience.

For example, I usually get this:

First grader: “Mr. Schueller…”

Me: “What?”

First grader: “You said it!”

Me: “Said what?”

First grader: “You said it!  We’re playing the ‘what’ game.  You said ‘what!’ You lose!”

And on it goes.  It never gets old for them, and to be honest, it really doesn’t get old for me either.  I know that these years of youthful innocence are numbered, and I’ll take it in and enjoy it for all it’s worth.

In addition to the lunchtime antics, I frequently get reports on the daily happenings in first grade from my older daughter.  It’s not unusual for her to fill me in on the latest “drama” that occurs in first grade.  It’s usually on par with the “what game” stuff.  Someone said they’d give them a pack of gum if they’d let them cut in line, and then they don’t follow through; kids taking things from other kids; arguments over whether someone really “hypnotizes” another student simply by looking at them for one minute straight…All that kind of “trivial” material that consumes the social life of a first grader.  When compared to the worries of an adult, these “first grade worries” seem so insignificant and so small…

I think of our journey here on this planet the same way.  Some of us on this planet are consumed in proverbial “what games” and so full of fear and worrying about what we stand to lose.  Then there are some of us on this planet who are just oozing with spiritual maturity — their self control and patience is through the roof, and they are admired by many for their mastery of self and spirit.

I had the opportunity to do a phone interview with Nick Bunick, author of several books.  In his book titled, Time For Truth, he says what he said to me during our talk, when I asked him what the meaning of life was, and why we were here on this planet.  In essence, he says to visualize a pyramid with a thousand steps inside of you, and at the top of this pyramid is the universal spirit/infinite wisdom/God.  He says, “The purpose of your life is to climb the steps, one at a time, until you reach the top and become at one” with that universal spirit/infinite wisdom/God.  Nick also says that he estimates the average person is at around step 200; some are lower and some are higher.  Some are in higher “grades” and making higher progress on their personal pyramid, and some are in lower “grades” and struggling spiritually.

What are the means by which we can reach the top?  By embracing “universal love and compassion.”  That’s it!

Now, I know it’s easy to look around and cast a judgmental eye on those who do not exercise love and compassion toward others.  It’s not hard to find people who are glaring examples of the opposite of love and compassion.  Just turn on the news.  However, we need to work on setting aside that judgment and passing that universal love and compassion to others, even if they haven’t come around to embracing it themselves.

It helps for me to simply think about those people as being in a “different grade” spiritually.  They are at a different place.  Just as we don’t get “angry” at first graders for being first graders, with their “what games” and “trivial concerns,” we can move away from being angry at those who don’t practice love and compassion.  Just as an adult is not any better than a first grader — just older — a more “spiritually advanced” individual is no better than someone who is at a different “step” on their personal spiritual pyramid.

I usually endorse the famous quote, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do,” during those times when it’s so easy to pick apart and judge someone who is doing something differently than I would in that same situation.  I’m no better.  I may be in a different “grade,” I may be on a different “step” on my pyramid, but I can’t get angry; again, I am no better.  That usually helps me get through it.

So, what step on your personal “pyramid” do you think you are on?  Are you still struggling to embrace universal love and compassion?  Is love and compassion something you can do on a part-time basis, but you still need work on making it a more full-time practice?  I know that’s where I am…I am getting better, but I still need work on making it a full-time behavior.  I have a long way to go, but I have also come a long way!

Climb those steps.  Embrace that “universal love and compassion.”  Refrain from judging others — just extend to them that  same “universal love and compassion,” and help them on their way.  That universal spirit is right there, within you — and the higher you climb on your own personal pyramid, the closer you will get to sharing with the world that wonderful you that resides right there inside of you!

Climb!

Is “Measuring Up” Holding Us Back? | VictorSchueller.com

By Dr. Victor Schueller | belief systems

Facebook user? Click the “Like” button below and get my newest publication, “Unlock Your Inner Awesome Today” for free!  That’s it!

measure

“To really ‘live,’ that is to find life reasonably satisfying, you must have an adequate and realistic self image that you can live with. You must find your self acceptable to ‘you.’ You must have a wholesome self-esteem. You must have a self that you can trust and believe in. You must have a self that you are not ashamed to ‘be,’ and one that you can feel free to express creatively, rather than to hide or cover up. You must have a self that corresponds to reality so that you can function effectively in a real world. You must know yourself—both your strengths and your weaknesses and be honest with yourself concerning both. Your self-image must be a reasonable approximation of ‘you,’ being neither more than you are, nor less than you are.” ~Maxwell Maltz

About a year and a half ago I decided to attend a conference for professional speakers.  It was a great weekend — I met some really nice people, and I learned a lot in the process.  One of the treats of the weekend was getting the opportunity to learn from one of the “big names” in the speaking industry, and I walked away with a wealth of information to use from here on out.  Overall, it was a productive weekend.

How do you do when walking into a new environment — when you know you’re going somewhere where you know you won’t know anybody, and where you will be asked over and over again to introduce yourself and answer questions about yourself?  Are you nervous?  Are you a bit fearful?  Truth to be told, I have never been comfortable at events like this in the past.  I never was a fan of these types of events, partially because I felt like I didn’t “belong” there with the other people.  I felt that the “others” were more experienced, polished, and “worthy” of being there than I.  Have you ever experienced that sort of “I really don’t fit in here with all these people” moment?  I think we have all experienced that nervousness somewhere along the line.  Maybe we still do to this day!

Where do you believe those feeling come from?  I believe that the feeling of fear and nervousness comes from a perception of how we “measure up” to other people.  I believe that we assign a relative “worth” to others, and then compare it to ourselves.  What do we use to assign this “worth?”  Perhaps it’s experience; perhaps it’s charisma and confidence.  Perhaps it’s how “well known” someone is in the public sector.  Can you relate?  Have you ever met someone who was a “guru” of some sort, or another “famous” person, and felt so overwhelmed and just in awe, simply because you were in their presence?

So, let me ask you a question…Take away all the “perceptions” of “worth” that you have about this “famous” person, and what do we have?  We have just another person.  Another person, just like you and me.  No more, and no less.  This was the realization I had as I approached that weekend of the conference.  I had reached a point where I had found myself in a mindset that was calming and reassuring, with no pressure or nervousness.  I realized that it was my own “self image” which had been holding me back at events like this in the past.  It was all a creation of my own mind.  It was my own “measuring up” and comparing myself to others that was leading to my apprehensions.  Once I figured this out, everything changed.

I no longer worried what other people thought of me; I didn’t care if people liked me or not.  I had confidence in my abilities and I felt that I was “worthy” and that I “belonged” right there with everyone else.  I felt extremely comfortable working the floor, and talking with other people.  Were there people who had experienced more “success” than I?  Absolutely!  Were there people there who had more experience than I?  Without a doubt!  I didn’t care!

On the second day of the conference, the featured speaker arrived.  During a break in the session, there was a long line of people who were waiting in line to shake a hand, get an autograph, or get a photograph.  While I recognized that this person is well known (throughout the world) and extremely successful, I didn’t feel the need or desire to jump in the line.  Truth to be told, this speaker would never remember who I was anyway, so what would I really gain from this possible encounter?  The opportunity to say I “shared” the stage with this “world renowned” personality?  Sure, I guess!

Don’t get me wrong — it’s not about ego here.  It’s not about me feeling I need to boost myself up and pretend that I don’t care who this person is.  I care, but I don’t care that much.  I was at peace with myself.  I felt comfortable in my own skin, for once, and I didn’t care who was in the room, who I met or didn’t meet.  I didn’t care if I rubbed shoulders with the “right” people, or got in on the “right” new ventures that were out there waiting for me.  I didn’t care!

Why do we worry if we don’t measure up?  So much suffering comes from the attachment we have to feeling that we are deemed “of worth” by others.  We don’t need to worry about what others think.  It only serves the ego.  Simple acceptance of the fact that we are who we are is enough.  If we love ourselves, the rest doesn’t matter.

When we boost others up and then end up feeling bad about who we are as a result, we only feel less than “good enough” because we now believe we don’t “measure up.”  We do it to ourselves.  We can end up loving ourselves less, and in the process feel down and depressed, or even angry or jealous of others.

Don’t worry about measuring up to others.  Feelings of “worth” are only creations of our minds.  When we simplify who we are and what we are, what are we?  We are flesh and bone; further reduced, we are just the elements of the earth — nothing less, and nothing more.  We are all cut from the same cloth.  We are great beings of spirit, residing in the machinery of the body.  We are all connected and equal with each other.  We are all here to accomplish the same thing, which is to learn how to become more compassionate and loving toward other beings.

If we learn to support each other, there is no room for judgment, jealousy, or negativity.  We can always make more room for love in our hearts, and squeeze out that space which is dedicated to negativity, aggression, and hostility.

Don’t worry about what other people think.  We can just ask ourselves what we think.  We can ask ourselves how can we live our lives with more love and compassion.  Perhaps it’s just simply smiling toward another person to make their day better.  Besides, don’t you think that’s the way we were destined to live — with a smile on our faces?

I know that I was smiling the entire weekend, because I had reached a place of peace and self contentment.  I was smiling in the car; I was smiling at the airport (even humming while waiting in line).  I was smiling at the conference, and I smiled all the way back home.  I felt great!  I loved being me!

“Measuring up” to others only holds us back.  It’s time to let go of our need to feel “worthy” of others’ acceptance.  It’s time to be content with who we are.  After all, we are awesome inside — and it’s time we start finding it!  We are great!

Photo source: freedigitalphotos.net

Are You Ready to Flip the Switch? | VictorSchueller.com

By Dr. Victor Schueller | belief systems

Facebook user? Click the “Like” button below and get my newest publication, “Unlock Your Inner Awesome Today” for free!  That’s it!


 

light

“And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.” ~Marianne Williamson

You have no idea how good it feels to be writing this post.  The last time I wrote a real, true blog post was last year — December 18 — over a  month ago!  It’s a busy time of year for me.  I teach college courses, and I had some other engagements that consumed my time and energy, and I knew my blog would always be waiting for me when I got back into it, and now is that time!

It’s funny when you get a chance to spend some time away from writing a couple times a week how your mind continues to accumulate ideas and thoughts, and I have been taking a lot of time to reflect on who I am and what I am.  Even though I wasn’t writing, I was thinking — every day — about what the new year was going to mean to me and for me.  I realized that while I have been growing and evolving, it’s time to continue the process and come into my own and focus on one primary objective.

Since I take my work very seriously, I continually search for ways to magnify my message and reach more people.  I have found no problem finding people who are willing to provide their two cents (and more).  I get emails by the ton every day, with suggestions on how to build an empire of followers and how to dominate social media.  I get videos with lots of ideas and read blogs and books with even more ideas on how to be successful and how to take my speaking and writing career to the next level.  One idea I have heard over and over again is that to be successful you have to be controversial.  Those who support this idea claim that you have to write something that causes a “commotion” so you can go viral and get noticed.  That’s not me…Sorry.  I know plenty of people who aren’t controversial and are tremendously successful.  If I am not that way in everyday life, I am not going to be that on my blog or anywhere in the public!

Let me tell you what I am and what I am not.  What I am is someone who cares — who really cares about people, and helping them live better tomorrow than they did today.  That’s who I am!  What I am not is someone who uses people as stepping stones so I can climb the ladder of success.  If you care enough to read this, or any of my posts, or if you care enough to watch my videos or listen to my radio show, then let me tell you this — I care about you!  Truly!  If you have ever talked with me or have met me, you know what you see is what you get.  I am what I am.  And that’s all that I am (thanks Popeye!)

For years I have worried about what people thought about me.  Since I have been in the public eye as a blogger and writer, I worried about saying the “wrong” thing and “losing” followers.  I was so concerned with image and words that I was sometimes ashamed or tentative about sharing an idea or two.  While I was authentic, I wasn’t “fully” authentic, and that has bothered me.

I don’t know if it’s maturity finally catching up with me, or a level of spiritual growth, but I can sense that things are changing within me.  I can sense that I am shifting and moving.  I feel more at peace with myself and in my world.  I am losing that sense of attachment to certain material things and viewing the world through a different lens.  I feel like I am breaking free.  I feel liberated, and I feel ready to embark on a new journey, and I hope you are ready to come with me!

I have a Facebook page; if you haven’t visited it yet and/or if you haven’t “liked” the page yet, I would appreciate it if you stopped by.  I share inspirational quotes and ideas several times a day.  On my Facebook page early this year, I shared with my followers what my concentration was going to be on this year, and I want to share it with you.

This year, I am going to focus on being a “lightworker.”  I know — when I first heard this term, I thought that it meant to take on less of a load — I thought it meant to work “lighter.”  This isn’t the case.  My work as a “lightworker” is to let my light shine and by doing so help others find their “light.”  I am going to do whatever I can to help you find that inner greatness that is within you.  I want you to be able to take those things that you do that you’re not happy about or proud of, and replace them with a new you — the “authentic and awesome” you that resides within you, just waiting to come out.

We all have a greatness that lies within us.  Some of us can see it every day, while some of us are so inundated with drama, despair, frustration, anxiety, and daily problems that we can’t find it.  I want to help you “flip the switch,” and find that inner greatness that resides within you.  I want to help you find that light that can burn strongly within your heart, and completely change your life for the better — and for good!

Are you ready to “flip the switch?”  Are you ready to embark on a journey of discovery of the personal greatness you possess?  I really hope so!  It’s time to stop settling for being just mediocre.  It’s time to stop settling for good enough, and not happy enough.  It’s time to be great.  It’s time to stop being affected by negativity that may surround us; it’s time to stop getting angry at ourselves or others; it’s time to stop letting old habits limit our tremendous potential; it’s time to learn to be more loving and compassionate toward others and find patience.  It’s time to reach within and pull out that wonderful spirit within you that can bring happiness to you and blessings to those around you.  It’s time!  Let’s do it!

I’ve had so much time to reflect, and I have so much to share.  I feel refreshed and renewed!  I look forward to a year of blessings and growth!  I look forward to spending it with you.  Great things are yet to come, and if you stick with me, you’ll figure out that great things are yet to come with you!

Shine on!  Shine on!  Let’s flip the switch and let the light shine!

There’s No Time Like “Now” Time | VictorSchueller.com

By Dr. Victor Schueller | belief systems

Facebook user? Click the “Like” button below and get my newest publication, “Unlock Your Inner Awesome Today” for free!  That’s it!


 

now

“Only the ego operates in the past and the future, the soul and God work only in the present.” ~Craig Beck

My wife and I are in the thick of the holiday season, getting ready for another fun couple of weeks with our wonderful daughters, ages seven and three.  We got our holiday shopping done early, but the presents are still in bags, waiting to be wrapped.  Now, we stand only one week away from the big day, and we still have so much to do!

For me, personally, I am preparing to have a lot on my plate to start the new year.  I will be teaching my usual load of college courses, and then I will be adding another teaching assignment.  I was honored to be asked by my former college anatomy professor to fill in for her this spring semester, and teach her anatomy course.  Maintaining this rigorous schedule would be enough, but then throw on top of it maintaining my website, finding time to write a book, and carving out some more speaking engagements.  I’m beginning to wonder where I will find the time to manage it all! 

When we get busy, it’s easy for us to look at this huge list of “tasks” or goals that stand before us.  The list can be daunting if we look at it all at once.  We think about the things that have to be done, and it can cause great anxiety within us.  If you let it, it can literally keep you up at night!  Each time I start to look ahead at a large number of responsibilities to attend to, I think back to the most influential words I have ever read, coming  from Craig Beck’s book, The Secret Law of Subconscious Attraction.  Those words are: “Only the ego operates in the past and the future, the soul and God work only in the present.”

I love that!  It’s so true!  The ego loves to remind us of our failures — the things we didn’t get done today.  It adds frustration to our lives, and if we let it, it becomes a part of us.  We believe we are failures, and we start living our lives as failures!  The ego loves to place that self doubt within us about our capabilities to accomplish what lies ahead of us.  It loves to tell us that we’re not quite good enough.  We start to contemplate giving up before we start, because we’re not capable.

Both are false — we are not failures, and we are indeed capable!  We just have to believe it!

The past can also make us complacent…We can look back at our successes and think the work is over.  We’ve accomplished what we needed to and we can rest on our laurels and enjoy the ride.  That’s nonsense as well!  We are born to be better than that!  Every new day is a gift to accomplish something!  Every new day is an opportunity to grow and develop!

So, when we look at this daunting list of things to accomplish, or missed opportunities from days gone by, what can we do to overcome the worry, doubt, and anxiety?  We can live in the “now.”  The ego doesn’t exist in the present.  Only our pure self exists there!

Do you have a long list of things to accomplish?  Write them down on the list.  Start with item number one, and work until number one is accomplished.  Cross it off.  Move on to number two.  Work until that’s done.  Cross it off.  Keep going.  One at a time.

By doing this, you will be working in the present moment at all times.  You are focused on what is right in front of your eyes in the here and now.  Your list will always be there, so you’ll know what’s next as you move through the list, but you will harness the supreme power of “now” time.  You’ll be more efficient; you’ll get more done; you’ll feel extreme accomplishment as you look back on what you did in that “now” time.

When things get tough and the list grows long, remember — there’s no time like “now” time!

 

This is my last post for 2012.  It’s been a great year!  Thank you all who helped me become #23 on the list of the “Top 50 Personal Development Blogs!”  I am so appreciative!  Thank you all for your support this past year.  2012 was a great year.  I can’t wait to see what 2013 brings!  I wish you all a very happy and prosperous 2013!  Best wishes to you always!

A Meeting with a Medium | VictorSchueller.com

By Dr. Victor Schueller | Radio Show

Facebook user? Click the “Like” button below and get my newest publication, “Unlock Your Inner Awesome Today” for free!  That’s it!


I will be welcoming guest Tami Urbanek, medium and clairvoyant of EmpowermentThroughHealing.org

As I was setting up the date for Tami’s interview, I noticed that this was the first scheduled interview where we actually discussed the topic of empowerment for a show called “Positively Empowered Radio!”  How funny is that?

I am so excited for this week’s interview.  I haven’t interviewed a medium/clairvoyant yet on this show, and when I discovered Tami online, I knew I had to reach out to her.  The combination of her unique gifts and her mission to help empower people was a combination I couldn’t pass up!  I knew I just had to have her on, and I was so grateful when she accepted my offer!  I just love reading her stories, which she shares on her website, www.empowermentthroughhealing.org.  I invite you to check out her website and read about her incredible experiences!

Here’s Tami’s story, through her own words:

“Moving out of my safe and nurturing parent’s home at 18 years old to move in with a man of 22 years old proved to be a poor choice on my part. I so desired independence, but what I created was a painful relationship with a verbally and emotionally abusive alcoholic. I guess I thought I could help him….We married within a few months of living together and within a few more months, I became pregnant with my beautiful daughter. At the age of 19, I divorced him as I was fearful of him hurting our daughter during one of his intoxicated rages. Unfortunately, I had no money and I was working at McDonald’s. I qualified for child care assistance, utility assistance, and some food assistance. After a few more disastrous relationships, I decided I needed to change how I felt about myself and that I needed to change my priorities.

With child support not coming my way, and now, working at a high school in a classroom for kids with special needs and delivering newspapers at 3:30am, seven days a week, and beginning college, I was ready to make more changes. Over the course of the next few years, I met and married my current husband of now 14 years and pursued and completed my bachelor’s degree in Psychology. I continued my education and earned a Master’s Degree in Special Education, a Master’s Degree in Public Administration, a teaching certificate for teaching special education, and a teaching certificate for teaching English in regular education. I also earned two teaching awards. During the later years of my education and teaching, my ability as a medium began to open and I began communicating with the deceased. There were times that I needed to approach people about a deceased people. These were people I had never met…

In 2008, I left that safe world of employment and began expressing my abilities as a medium/clairvoyant. I grew up with a father who is a medium, so the transition seemed very natural. Now, I work with people internationally and nationally, people who desire to communicate with their spirit guides for life assistance. I also offer Tai Yi (pronounced Tie Yee) energy work to assist people in their physical, mental, and emotional healing process. Just recently, I have added a coaching service to my work as I can walk people through the process of healing many issues as I did myself.

I am on journey of healing and of assisting others who desire to heal their life and find their passion, their joy, their self-love.”

I can’t wait to speak with Tami, and I invite you to listen to the our conversation!

Don’t miss the interview!

 

Love Yourself and the Rest Doesn’t Matter | VictorSchueller.com

By Dr. Victor Schueller | belief systems

Facebook user? Click the “Like” button below and get my newest publication, “Unlock Your Inner Awesome Today” for free!  That’s it!


 

“It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else’s eyes.” ~Sally Field

I was at a conference in California last year, and I was talking with a group of people after the first day of the conference had come to an end.  We were hanging out in the hotel bar…I can’t remember what I had said to one of the people in the group, but it had to do with her willingness to physically do something that I would have categorized as rather “silly” in front of the other members of the group.  Perhaps alcohol had something to do with it. 🙂

Her response to me was this: “You’re from the Midwest, aren’t you?”  Shocked that she was dead on (I live in Wisconsin), I responded with, “Yes…How did you know?”

She responded by saying, “Because you care about what other people think.”

Now, whether she button-holed me into a stereotype or not, she was right — I did care about what other people thought of me.  There is no way I would have done anything “silly” like that in front of people I didn’t know.  No way.

I still struggle with this…Do you?  I still have that little voice in the back of my mind, saying something like, “Yes, but what will other people think?”  I have gotten a lot better at quieting that little voice over the past year, and I have gotten much better at saying some not so pleasant things to it, to get it to stay quiet!

Regardless of where we live, the fact remains the same: sometimes we worry about what other people think. Sometimes we worry about whether people will approve of us or not, and our worries about garnering this approval from others sometimes suppresses our true selves from being revealed.  Simply put, sometimes we worry more about loving other people rather than loving ourselves.

Why do we seek validation from others?  Our brains are designed to make us want to be part of the group.  It’s actually painful to be isolated from others!  That’s a big reason why.  The other reason?  I think it’s because to be accepted boosts our self esteem and morale.  However, to rely on outside validation to boost our self esteem, according to Vipin Mehta, is to rely on what is called “false” self esteem.  It’s self esteem that comes from outside sources, rather than “true” self esteem, which stems from self validation and self love.

If we simply spend more time working on excavating new treasures within us, rather than seeking approval from others, we’ll have a lifetime of lessons to learn.  It sure it takes a lot of work, but the rewards are substantial — just like an archaeologist has to work hard to dig and find the buried treasures in the earth, we have to work hard to uncover the subconscious glory that resides within each of us — the greatness that lies buried and covered with all the conscious beliefs and perceptions we have laid over the top.

So it’s time to get started — it’s time to focus on loving ourselves.  If we love ourselves and continue to unearth the hidden treasures buried within us, we won’t have to worry about what other people say or do.  It just doesn’t really matter.  All that matters is that we learn how to love ourselves and love how great we really are inside.  We just need to take the time to find the greatness that lies within each of us.

It’s time to seek validation from within!  It’s time to dig out those treasures that reside within us, ready to enrich our lives with the love and greatness that is inside!  It’s there — we just have to keep digging.  Love yourself, and the rest doesn’t matter.

 

P.S. Have you signed up for the “Coming Back To Life” e-Course?  Click on the link below to find out more, as well as how you can save $30 when you sign up today!

 

Photo source: freedigitalphotos.net

By clicking the banner above, you are clicking on an affiliate link, which means a portion of your purchase will go toward vanquishing mental mediocrity worldwide! 🙂

The Voice Within | VictorSchueller.com

By Dr. Victor Schueller | belief systems

Facebook user? Click the “Like” button below and get my newest publication, “Unlock Your Inner Awesome Today” for free!  That’s it!

 

“The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.” ~Peggy O’Mara

My three-year-old daughter has learned to operate the zipper on her jacket and zip it up.  She was very pumped when she mastered it for the first time.  It’s pretty awesome to watch her as she continually adds more skills to her repertoire of physical feats.  I remember back to when my older daughter was learning to tie her shoes.  I got out a long rope-like piece of clothing that was actually a belt for one of my wife’s outfits.  I watched as she wrapped the long rope around her waist, and then used the ample length of the rope to her advantage, as she carefully navigated through the twists and loops of our pseudo “shoelaces.”  I captured it on vide0 — the triumph over the ever-so-challenging shoelace!  She was so proud of herself!  You could just see how her self esteem soared.

When do we feel good about ourselves?  Do we feel better about ourselves when we admit defeat or think we can’t accomplish something, or when we overcome a difficult challenge and arise victorious?  The answer is obvious — we gain tremendous self esteem and self confidence when we present ourselves with challenges, and then responsively rise to those challenges and overcome them!  As we continue to grow and learn, the challenges get to be larger, but that’s okay.  I am guessing that it’s pretty routine for you to zip a zipper or tie some shoelaces.  You’d feel pretty silly if people around you celebrated every time you zipped your jacked or tied your shoelaces.  You’ve accomplished those now-mundane and routine tasks — you’ve moved on to bigger and more challenging things.

Now, what if, being a well-intentioned parent, I continued to step in and tell my younger daughter that it’s too hard for her to zip her own jacket, and I would do it for her?  What if I would have told my older daughter that tying shoes is a tough job, and I can just do it for her in a quarter of the time it takes her, so I’ll just do it for her?  Would you think that’s healthy and healthy for my daughters?  Or, would you suggest that my verbal expressions of their insufficiencies does more harm than good?  What about their development as young people?  What about their confidence in their abilities?  What about their feelings of self esteem and self worth?  What about their future ability to overcome challenges, or simply the willingness to accept challenges?  What about their feelings of competence to even consider a challenge?

It’s obvious that my voice, expressing non-confidence in my daughters would be an obstacle to future growth and development, as well as diminishing their self worth and self confidence.  So, if it’s obvious to us that our audible voices of non-confidence can be negative, why do we allow the non-audible voice of the ego continue to tell us that we’re not good enough?  Why do we continue to listen to the voice as it tells us that we’ll never succeed, so we might as well give up?  Why do we continue to tell ourselves that we aren’t good enough, or that we are incapable of accomplishing some things?  Why do we continue to tell ourselves that we aren’t good at learning names, or doing math problems, or striking up small talk with strangers?  Why?

The voice within limits our potential.  The voice within covers up the truly awesome person that we are.  The voice within wants to maintain power over us, and keep us from realizing our true potential and authentic self.

How long are we going to listen to the voice?  Maybe it’s time we speak back to that voice with our own non-audible voice.  Maybe it’s time for us to say that our voice is wrong, and we’re not going to listen to it, believe it, or even acknowledge it anymore.  Don’t you think we’re better than that anyway?  What do you think?

 

Photo source: freedigitalphotos.net

 

Let’s Talk Tarot! | VictorSchueller.com

By Dr. Victor Schueller | belief systems

Facebook user? Click the Like button below and get my newest publication, “Unlock Your Inner Awesome Today” for free!  That’s it!  No strings attached!

I had the pleasure of speaking with Andria Molina, Author of the upcoming book, A Guide to Tarot and Relationships.  I even had a reading done (my first ever)!

To hear the interview, click HERE!

 

When it comes to our relationships, sometimes we are looking for ways to enhance or repair them.  Sometimes we look to friends; sometimes we look to self-help books, websites, or blogs; sometimes we look within.  Sometimes our conscious thought processes can be reflected through the symbolism and language of Tarot, and that’s what we are going to talk about on our show this week!

I am looking so forward to having this week’s guest, Andria Molina, on the show.  If you are not familiar with what Tarot is, I recommend that you listen to this week’s broadcast!  Andria grew up in the Midwest and is a third-generation Tarot reader. She has been working with the Tarot for over fifteen years, and from her experience in working with relationship questions, she was inspired to write her book. Andria enjoys giving insightful Tarot readings showing others how one can gain clarity into any situation.

On Andria’s website, where a description of her book is included, it states, “…now, via your specialized card readings, you can identify key issues and helping aids to repair or improve your personal relationships. Enable patterns of constructive development into your psyche, find answers for love and self exploration, or discover time frames for events that affect your relationships. A Questions Statement is applied to each card to help you identify questions and to creatively form compelling answers. In addition to metaphorical meanings for each card, a general significance section is included for usage with other life issues.”

To find out more about Andria, please visit her website, at www.AndriaMolina.com.

This promises to be an intriguing conversation!

Listen today!

Don’t miss the interview!

 

Abundant Blessings Before You | VictorSchueller.com

By Dr. Victor Schueller | Relationships health family business friends community culture work school life blogs blogging

“A good memory is one that can remember the day’s blessings and forget the day’s troubles.” ~Unknown

My family; my friends; my life work; my health; a warm home; clean water to drink; laughter; happiness; the ability to give; food to eat…

Above is a very short sampling of the many blessings I am fortunate to enjoy every day. It’s easy to forget our blessings when we are staring at our insufficiencies and difficulties.

Last week was “one of those weeks” for me — I had a head cold, which started the end of the previous week. I was fatigued and lacking energy. Then the mistakes seemed to start…I realized I had accidentally double-booked guests for a future radio show; I thought I had sent an email to a future guest on my show, only to find out that it was saved in my “drafts” and never made it there. My guest’s phone connection on the radio show broadcast on Monday dropped right when the show started, and then it dropped again during the show…

On Tuesday I had two meetings and subsequently forgot to pick up my daughter on time for her piano lesson…I was trying so hard not to say to myself, “It’s one of those weeks,” or “I just can’t seem to get my act together,” because I know that saying those things would just be “growing” them and end up making it come true, and reveal more missteps and mistakes! 🙂

During that period early last week, when I was trying so hard to make things just go right and to not forget anything else, I ended up forgetting all the blessings hidden within…Let’s try this again:

I had a head cold, which forced me to rest and recuperate.  I am fortunate to have a comfortable home and bed to rest in when I need it, complete with warmth that comes from having employment which allows me to pay for my heat, home, and comfortable furnishings.

I had double-booked guests for a future radio show; I thought I had sent an email to a future guest for my show, only to find out that it was saved in my “drafts” and never made it there; my guest’s phone connection on the radio show broadcast on Monday dropped right when the show started, and then it dropped again during the show….I am blessed to host my own radio show, and I am fortunate to have multiple guests available and willing to be on it!

I had two meetings and subsequently forgot to pick up my daughter on time for her piano lesson.  One of the meetings was a result of an opportunity that I would have only dreamed of a year ago.  The other meeting was for a group that I would have loved to have been a part of a year ago too.  I am blessed to have been given these opportunities.  I never had the opportunity to take piano lessons or have a piano in my home when I was a child.  I am blessed with the opportunity to provide this opportunity to my daughter…And yes, I am so blessed to have children, especially girls, whom I had always wanted!

We are surrounded by abundant blessings always.  Although sometimes it’s hard to find them in the thick of adversity, frustration, doubt, and sadness, they are always there.  Sometimes we can’t see them or appreciate them unless we take time to reflect upon them.

Take some time today to reflect upon the abundant blessings in your life.  You may be surprised at how blessings can be found almost anywhere!

Blessings to you!

 

Photo source: freedigitalphotos.net

>