Category Archives for "Self-empowerment and dealing with difficult people"

I love this article!  Check it out!  There are some great insights and recommendations!

Dike Drummond, M.D.: Three Things to Do When the “F” Word Stops You Cold.

For those of you who are afraid of losing your privacy because people can literally read your minds, I read in the article they currently cannot read brainwaves unless the skull bone over the brain is removed!  You’re safe for now!

Interesting read:

As scientists discover how to ‘translate’ brainwaves into words… Could a machine read your innermost thoughts? | Mail Online.

This article describes how both sides of the brain work together to think creatively.  Interesting read…

Here’s the article:

How to Think Creatively – Tony Schwartz – Harvard Business Review.

This article, from http://abundance-blog.marelisa-online.com does a great job of giving some real, usable information for solving problems.  I know I learned some new and helpful things!

Here’s the article:

Increase Your Happiness With a Solution-Focused Mindset.

“In taking revenge, a man is but even with his enemy; but in passing it over, he is superior.”  ~Francis Bacon

It’s called “shaudenfreude.”  It’s a term used to describe the feeling one gets as they derive pleasure from others’ suffering or misfortune.  We’ve all felt it.  The question is — is it learned behavior, or is it something that is genetically pre-programmed within us?

There actually is a place in the brain that is wired, it turns out, to give us this sense of justice (or injustice), which seems to be unique to humans.  You can read about it here.

There also is a part of the brain that has been shown through research to actually “light up” on brain scans when subjects were asked to think about exacting revenge upon someone else.  This area, called the dorsal striatum, is also the area that seems to be active when we experience a pleasurable event, such as eating a good food (such as chocolate), or taking certain drugs, (or having sex too).  This area of the brain is controlled largely by the amygdala, which is part of our more primitive and emotional part of the brain.

What does it all mean?  Does it mean that we are wired to feel good about exacting revenge or seeing someone else fail?  It sure would make us feel a lot better if we knew that we weren’t necessarily in control of our feelings of pleasure when someone else experiences a misfortune.

Let me point out, however, that we don’t get off the hook that easily.  It turns out that studies have indicated that when people had the opportunity to exact revenge on a person who they felt “wronged” them, the negative emotional impact was significant.  In other words, they almost felt worse after getting the revenge than they did before.

The long and the short of it is this — even though it may “feel” natural and instinctual to let ourselves feel good when someone fails, or it may be tempting to “get someone back” for a wrong they committed, in the end, what does it solve?  What good does it do?  Here’s a great time for us to exercise another innate and powerful tool we were born with, which is the gift of empathy.

The next time someone “wrongs us,” I challenge you to approach the situation with a sense of “curiosity” and “wonderment” about why the person did what they did.  What did they need, or what was it that they were trying to accomplish?  You’ll find that it softens your approach, and it may even give you a deeper understanding and compassion for the other person.

The next time someone experiences a setback or misfortune, I challenge you to put yourself in their shoes, and think and wonder what you would feel like if you were in their position.  What would you be thinking.  What emotions would you be experiencing?  You’ll find that you will be experiencing compassion and understanding, rather than sweet satisfaction.

Remember — empathy!  Empathy!

Have a great day!

-Victor

Photo source: freedigitalphotos.net

This article offers some recommendations on reducing stress, which can compromise the immune system.

Here’s the article:

Finding ways to stress less | Gladstone Health | Fitness and Medical News in Gladstone | Gladstone Observer.

The author of this article, David Gannon, has some excellent recommendations on how to increase your levels of happiness.  I wanted to share them with you, to provide you with some ideas.  I hope they are useful!

Here’s the article:

Do you know how to be happy? – Utica, NY – The Observer-Dispatch, Utica, New York.

Sometimes it’s hard to know what to say when someone verbally abuses you or is aggressive toward you.  If you consistently struggle with some ideas, and find that you usually are standing there, wanting to say something, but can’t find the words, this article gives some great phrases to consider!

Here you go:

Verbal Bullying- Self Defense Training.

This article comes from Alex Blackwell, who will be joining me on my radio show on February 27.  He is a fellow midwesterner, so he knows that this time of year gets to be a bit rough starting right about now when you’ve got a lot of winter (and cold, and snow) left ahead!

Here’s the article:

29 Simple Ways to Energize Yourself | The BridgeMaker.

Okay, so let me preface this by saying that I am a chiropractor, and so I should know a lot about back pain, and more importantly, what causes it and how to fix it.

About a year ago, I found myself with low back pain, primarily on the right side, that caused significant discomfort.  It seems that I get low back pain every few years, and usually it sticks around for a while — maybe a week or so because of something silly I did physically, but then it goes away after a few weeks.  It’s one of those things I deal with in the way that I was taught — using ice and moist heat, manipulation, stretching — you know — the whole nine yards.

This time it was different.  I couldn’t even think of anything that I did that would have been the start of my back pain.  What’s more is that I tried everything — I mean everything I could think of — to get rid of the pain, and nothing worked…Nothing.  The pain stayed.

I couldn’t sit for long periods of time, but then I couldn’t stand for long either.  It affected every moment of every day, and pretty much every movement of every day.  “Hey, I should know how to fix this…” I thought, but to no avail…

One month became two — two became four — and four became eight…I knew it wasn’t anything “serious” based on the nature of the pain and the aggravators of the pain.  It was just there and it didn’t go away.  It didn’t get  worse, but it certainly wasn’t any better.

I like to read, and one of the books that caught my attention last fall was the book, “The Power of Eye Contact” by Michael Ellsberg.  What I expected in reading the book was to learn how eye contact can impact a person’s life — what I didn’t expect was to find a cure for my back pain — however, it happened!

Ellsberg wrote about meditation, of all things, in his book (yes he did talk about eye contact too).  He had some recommendations and strategies for meditating, and I thought “what the heck — I’ll just give it a shot.”  I was at the time also having issues with elevated blood pressure, but I knew that it was a result of the tremendous amount of pressure and stress I was putting on myself at the time.  I figured that doing some relaxing meditation certainly wouldn’t hurt when it came to reducing stress and pressure.

I got ready for bed, and put some relaxing music on using the Pandora app on my iPad.  I put in my headphones, and just lay there, with my eyes closed, breathing deeply while focused on a single spot that I imagined to be right in front of me.  I just kept telling myself that I was going to “simply be present,” in that I would let thoughts enter my mind, but I would just view them as objects, and not form any judgements about the thoughts as they passed through.  I took it a step further, and started to search for how those thoughts physically felt and manifested themselves in my body.

So here I was, nine months into some nasty back pain, meditating at night in my bed, when something remarkable happened…

I felt my body physically moving at the waist.  I thought that my wife Shelly was pushing me, until I realized that one of the deep gluteal muscles on my right side was pulsating — or twitching — so slowly and so strongly that it was actually moving my body.  I felt a good eight to ten strong pulsations, weakening in intensity and increasing in frequency as they progressed, until they tapered off…And then all was still…

I couldn’t believe it!  My body actually moved — I don’t remember what I was thinking about, but something was obviously physically manifesting itself as the tension in my low back that was causing my back pain for nine months.  Immediately, the pain was reduced to the point where I could scarcely feel anything…

The next day, the pain was decreased by ninety percent, and two days after the “event,” I was pain free, and have been ever since!

I can’t believe how profound the experience was, and when I try to explain it to others, it doesn’t even sound believable, but it’s true…It worked.

Now, I make it a point to meditate regularly, just to help maintain mindfulness of the relationship between my thoughts and my body, and to help me decrease stress and tension.

If you are looking for ways to decrease stress or just get a grasp on your life when it seems that things are getting out of hand, I highly recommend looking into meditation as a way to help yourself.  I can’t begin to count the number of resources out there, from books to websites to articles to blogs…There is no shortage of help!

I never in a million years would have believed the power of meditation until I personally experienced just how profoundly effective it can be.   Give it a try!

“Meditation brings wisdom; lack of mediation leaves ignorance. Know well what leads you forward and what hold you back, and choose the path that leads to wisdom.” ~Buddha

Thanks for listening to my story, and thanks for just stopping by!  I really do appreciate it!

Have a great week!

-Victor