Schaudenfreude is as good as chocolate

“In taking revenge, a man is but even with his enemy; but in passing it over, he is superior.”  ~Francis Bacon

It’s called “shaudenfreude.”  It’s a term used to describe the feeling one gets as they derive pleasure from others’ suffering or misfortune.  We’ve all felt it.  The question is — is it learned behavior, or is it something that is genetically pre-programmed within us?

There actually is a place in the brain that is wired, it turns out, to give us this sense of justice (or injustice), which seems to be unique to humans.  You can read about it here.

There also is a part of the brain that has been shown through research to actually “light up” on brain scans when subjects were asked to think about exacting revenge upon someone else.  This area, called the dorsal striatum, is also the area that seems to be active when we experience a pleasurable event, such as eating a good food (such as chocolate), or taking certain drugs, (or having sex too).  This area of the brain is controlled largely by the amygdala, which is part of our more primitive and emotional part of the brain.

What does it all mean?  Does it mean that we are wired to feel good about exacting revenge or seeing someone else fail?  It sure would make us feel a lot better if we knew that we weren’t necessarily in control of our feelings of pleasure when someone else experiences a misfortune.

Let me point out, however, that we don’t get off the hook that easily.  It turns out that studies have indicated that when people had the opportunity to exact revenge on a person who they felt “wronged” them, the negative emotional impact was significant.  In other words, they almost felt worse after getting the revenge than they did before.

The long and the short of it is this — even though it may “feel” natural and instinctual to let ourselves feel good when someone fails, or it may be tempting to “get someone back” for a wrong they committed, in the end, what does it solve?  What good does it do?  Here’s a great time for us to exercise another innate and powerful tool we were born with, which is the gift of empathy.

The next time someone “wrongs us,” I challenge you to approach the situation with a sense of “curiosity” and “wonderment” about why the person did what they did.  What did they need, or what was it that they were trying to accomplish?  You’ll find that it softens your approach, and it may even give you a deeper understanding and compassion for the other person.

The next time someone experiences a setback or misfortune, I challenge you to put yourself in their shoes, and think and wonder what you would feel like if you were in their position.  What would you be thinking.  What emotions would you be experiencing?  You’ll find that you will be experiencing compassion and understanding, rather than sweet satisfaction.

Remember — empathy!  Empathy!

Have a great day!

-Victor

Photo source: freedigitalphotos.net