I used to be such a believer in the physical, and the physical only.  It began and ended in my head.  It was all about the brain and the body, and not too much else.  Truth to be told, I felt a little uncomfortable and skeptical about the “woo woo” stuff — you know, talking about spirituality, and our soul, and our life purpose, and all of that.

Fortunately for me, my life has been made all the better by being introduced to a great network of wonderful people who’ve helped bring more spirituality and higher aspirations to my life, and one of those people who has greatly impacted my life is my dear friend, Jodi Chapman.

Jodi is rolling out a wonderful new opportunity for people to connect with her and a wonderful community of like-minded individuals in what she calls her “Soul Life Sanctuary.”  She wants you to be involved in this great group of people, and I invited her to my blog so that I could introduce you to her and learn more about the sanctuary.  Welcome Jodi!

 

For those who are meeting you for the first time, please tell us more about yourself.

If you’re just meeting me for the first time, I would love to start by saying hello. I’m grateful that our paths have crossed, and I look forward to being on this journey together!

I live with my heart on my sleeve. I’m sensitive, loving, sappy, authentic, and soulful. I’m an inspirational writer. I found my voice just a few years ago when I connected with my soul, and we’ve been non-stop ever since – writing books, blogs, columns, and ecourses! It fills me up to connect with others authentically and lovingly, which is why I love creating communities and sites that allow for this deep interaction.

I live in southern Oregon with my super loving, always supportive, best friend/husband/soulmate, Dan Teck. We share our lives with three sweet cats: Biddle, Buncom, and Elsie.

I am a recovering perfectionist who is learning that loving myself and knowing that I am enough exactly as I am is far more important than finishing the to-do list or crossing every “t” or dotting every “i” or doing everything so far above and beyond. This has been something that I continue to remind myself of each day, and it feels pretty good to put work away and slow down and allow myself to simply be. It’s different but definitely something that I’m getting used to. 🙂

 

You’ve just created the Soulful Life Sanctuary, and I would love for you to share more about it with us! 

I would love to! It’s been a dream of mine for quite awhile now, and I’m so excited that it’s here! The Soulful Life Sanctuary is a sacred community where we lift each other up and support each other in listening to our soul’s whispers. It’s a gathering of like-minded friends and a collection of soulful tools and resources to help you along your journey. You’ll be supported every step of the way by me, plus a dozen Soul Guides and a loving community of like-minded friends. It’s a place where we can slow down, share authentically, reconnect with our soul, and open our hearts to others who are on a similar journey. 

 

What inspired you to create the Soulful Life Sanctuary?

I created the sanctuary for a few reasons: to give each of us a sacred community where our hearts could share openly and expand with others who are on a similar journey, to create a loving space where we could slow down from all of the DOing and simply BE, and to bring together soulful tools to help each of us along our journey.

I have found in my own life that it’s sometimes easier to disconnect from our true voice – our soul, our purpose, the deeper meaning of life – than it is to stay connected. Life gets so busy, we’re all driven by our to-do lists, and DOing sometimes seems to be given more priority than BEing.

This is something that I’ve struggled with throughout my life, actually. I’ve accomplished some really great things through doing and pushing and achieving. And I’m so grateful for that. But I found that all of these achievements didn’t mean anything to me if I lost my connection to my soul and to the universe and to what’s truly important in my life. If I wasn’t present, grounded, or connected, I wasn’t able to enjoy these accomplishments. They felt hollow to me, and I couldn’t feel grateful for them.

On the other hand, I found that when I was connected with my soul, to others, and to the universe, I could appreciate everything that happened in my life much more easily.

It’s my intention that the Soulful Life Sanctuary will be a space for all of us to go when we’re ready to reconnect with our soul, connect with each other from an authentic space, and breathe a collective exhale.

 

Can you tell us more about what’s included in the Soulful Life Sanctuary?

I would be happy to! The Soulful Life Sanctuary includes a supportive community, a virtual classroom/retreat center, and a set of tools/resources to help you live your most radiant, authentic, soulful life!

Here’s a taste of what’s included:

• Unlimited Sanctuary Access for 12 Months + Discounted Price for Life! – You’ll be able to pick and choose from a huge “buffet” of soulful offerings—from ecourses and live classes to blogs and forums…and so much more! Plus, you’ll be grandfathered in at the super-low earlybird price for as long as you stay a member, regardless of future price increases!
• Sacred Spaces and Soul Guides – Over a dozen virtual “rooms” focused on soulful topics such as Spirituality, Wellness, Abundance, Soulful Parenting, Self Love and Relationships, and much more—led by the Soul Guides.
• Ecourses – You’ll have instant access to ALL of my ecourses—including the popular “Coming Back to Life” course and many others (eight available immediately, with at least three more being added within the year)—on topics including soulful journaling, relationships, soulful business tips, gratitude, manifestation, daily spiritual practice, and much more!
• Live and Archived Classes – You’ll get free access to online classes on a wide variety of topics—ranging from intuitive readings to life coaching and nutrition. You can attend live or through an archive, which you can access at any time during your membership. You can even apply to teach your own class!
• Private Facebook Community – As a member, you’ll have access to the sanctuary’s private Facebook community, which is a safe space for you to connect with the other members and also myself and the Soul Guides.
• Your Own Personalized Page – You’ll be able to create a personal page where you can upload photos, share about yourself, see your latest activities, and read and respond to comments that other members have left for you.
• Soulful Blogs – As a sanctuary member, you can share your soulful wisdom through your blog, and you can also be inspired by reading others’ blogs! It’s a great way for us to connect and learn from each other.
• Sanctuary Shop – You’ll have access to a wide variety of soulful gifts and services—all from sanctuary members. You can also apply to have your products/services listed in the shop, where you’ll be able to reach thousands with your own soulful offerings!
• Optional Monthly Skype Sessions and Facebook Parties – As a sanctuary Member, you’ll also have the option to be part of the Soul Shakers’ community, which includes monthly Skype sessions (in groups of 9 or fewer), as well as a private forum where we can connect more deeply and support each other in reaching our dreams authentically and soulfully!

More than anything else, though, the Soulful Life Sanctuary is a sacred space where you can slow down, listen to your soul’s whispers, and connect with that deepest part of yourself and others! It’s a place where you can reconnect with that beautiful light that shines within you and share it with the world. It’s a place where you can come home to your true self.

 

Who is the sanctuary for?

The Soulful Life Sanctuary is for those who are:

• feeling called to slow down and reconnect with their soul, their purpose, and their place in the world.
• tired of feeling like they’re walking through life alone and are wanting to connect with others who are on a similar journey.
• excited to immerse themselves in a loving community that offers soulful tools to help them become more grounded and connected to both the physical and spiritual world.
• ready to show up authentically and openly, ready to get real (with themselves and also with others), and ready to be in a supportive, safe space where they can take off the mask and share their true self.
• open to spiritual growth and want to feel free to explore through ecourses and live classes.
• ready to step into their soul’s purpose (or at least explore what that purpose might be).
• ready to give themselves permission to Do less and Be more.
• ready to love and be loved, to give and to receive, and to stay open to the magic.

 

I see that you have invited 12 Soul Guides to join you in the sanctuary. Can you please share more about them and what their role in the sanctuary will be? 

Sure! I used to be someone who tried to do everything on my own. And not only was it a lonely way to walk through life, it also was exhausting. When I opened up and began to live a soulful life, I realized that inviting others to be on the journey with me felt so much better. I saw that we are much more powerful together than we are alone. And my heart was happy to have others to share my experiences with.

This is why I invited these beautiful souls to join me when I created this sacred community. I chose people who were already living their soul’s purpose and were already serving others in loving ways. Each of the guides is an expert in their area, and I’m so happy that they will be sharing their wisdom with all of us. They each have a sacred space inside the Sanctuary where they will be supporting the members.

Here list a list of the Soul Guides and their Sacred Spaces (in alphabetical order):

Christine Callahan-Oke – Soulful Guidance

Leanne Chapman – Creativity

Robin Chellis – Soulful Love & Relationships

Cassandra Herbert – Soulful Wellness

Sue Kearney – Soulful Astrology

Caroline Kirk – Soulful Spirituality

Becky McCleery – Soulful Parenting

Astra Spider – Soulful Abundance

Dan Teck – Joy and Gratitude

Lori Thiessen – Earth Angels

Shann Vander Leek – Soulful Self-Care

Nukhet Hendricks – Intuition

 

What does soulful living mean to you? 

For me, it means being connected to our soul – to that magical, neverending part of ourselves who is so wise and loving. It’s so easy to walk through life feeling disconnected, and so this would be the first part of living soulfully – plugging back in.

It also means that we’re open to giving and receiving love, and we’re open to allowing ourselves to embrace our life. We open to the possibility that the world is for us rather than against us, and we see our life through a lens of expansion and possibility. We open ourselves up to miracles.

It also means living authentically – bravely sharing our true selves with the world – letting our uniqueness shine through. It means that we come back to the present moment – over and over again. We know that it’s natural to leave it (we’re human after all), but we also know that we have the power to come back to it – to get into the habit of grounding ourselves and breathing this exact moment into our hearts.

Living soulfully means living a balanced life. It means taking time for ourselves as well as supporting others.

It means saying yes to our soul’s whispers – acting on them and honoring them, even if we are afraid (especially if we are afraid).

I believe that a soulful life is a life filled with so much love. 

 

How has your life changed since you started paying attention to the whispers of your soul? 

Wow – it’s changed in so many ways! I used to be so disconnected from my soul that I didn’t even remember I had a soul, much less listen to what it whispered to me. It’s only been a few years since I opened up to this part of myself, and everything has changed.

I used to be very mistrusting of others, and living soulfully has helped me to move through life trusting others and being open – assuming the best rather than fearing the worst. The lens that I see the world through has changed – it’s now loving and filled with possibility rather than fearful and cynical. My world is now expansive rather than constricted. And I’ve found that what I focus on becomes my reality – we’re truly that powerful. So if I focus on love and gratitude, I automatically am going to attract more love and gratitude into my life.

I am awake now rather than walking through life feeling numb. Because of this, I feel everything – the good and also the bad. But I feel alive, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything.

I get to spend my days sharing from my soul through my writing and in my communities, which is so magical.

My soul has led me to such a beautiful life, and I will continue to put all of my trust and faith into this wise part of myself. I know that it knows more than I ever will, and I’m so grateful that we all have this special gift to tap into. 

 

What are the benefits for people who join the sanctuary? 

Oh my gosh, there are so many!

First, I would say that the biggest benefit for anyone who joins is to know that they are a part of a loving community of like-minded souls where they can show up authentically and soulfully and be completely supported and accepted.

Second, joining means that you are letting your soul know that your connection to this wise part of yourself matters to you, and you are committing to making space to honor and expand on this connection. The more you make connecting with your soul a regular part of your life, the easier it will become and the more benefits, love, and wisdom you will receive from it.

Third, you’ll have access to so many tools to support you in reconnecting with your soul, slowing down, and embracing your life. You’ll receive access to all of my ecourses immediately when the sanctuary opens, plus there will be classes offered frequently, which are free to the members! 

 

Can you share one way that you would suggest we can begin connecting with our soul? 

Definitely! Our soul oftentimes speaks to us in whispers, and the only way we’ll be able to hear it is to slow down, get still, and listen. So I would suggest scheduling some “soul time” each day – time away from the to-do list, time away from others, time where you can be still and simply BE. It doesn’t have to be a huge amount of time either – just a few minutes is sometimes all we need to ground ourselves enough to hear our soul. I’ve found that doing this regularly creates space for magic. It really is that easy.

 

I saw that you’re offering an amazing bonus package worth over $800 for everyone who signs up by July 31st – can you tell us more about this? 

I’m beyond grateful to all of the sweet souls who have donated their products/services for the sanctuary’s launch! I’m just blown away by their huge hearts! To celebrate the grand opening, everyone who joins the sanctuary by July 31st will receive this bonus package, which is worth over $800! It includes ecourses, meditations, ebooks, and so much more!

You can see them all by CLICKING HERE.

 

That’s great! I also saw that you’re offering a special discount for everyone who joins the sanctuary in June! Please share more about that!

It’s true! The sanctuary opens on July 1^st, and I wanted to kick it off early with a special discount for everyone who signed up now! So I’m offering $100 off the regular price all month long! You’ll receive over $1300 in goodies when you join + over $800 in bonus gifts. It’s pretty amazing, and I know that your soul will be so full when you dive into all that’s included! I can’t wait to see you inside!

 

This sounds so wonderful! Where can everyone go to learn more about the sanctuary and sign up?

You will find all of the details here: http://www.jodichapman.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-affiliate-platform/api/redirect.php?url=http://www.soulfullifesanctuary.com&ap_id=victorsch (Please shorten using either Bitly or Goog.li)

 

Great! Is there anything else you would like to share? 

I know that we’re all busy. I know that life seems to be speeding up. I know that we think we don’t have time to join one more thing or put anything else on our plate. I get that – I really do. But here’s the thing: all of these to-dos mean nothing if we aren’t connected to our soul, to ourselves, to each other, and to our purpose. I don’t want any of us to spend even one more day running around and saying that we’ll put ourselves on the list “someday.” The time truly is now. You’re worth slowing down for. You’re worth taking time to get grounded. You’re worth living a life that feeds your soul and brings you joy. And it’s up to you to say yes to yourself and yes to your soul. I can’t wait for you to join me in the sanctuary. We’re going to have so much fun together!

 

About Jodi:

Jodi Chapman is a bestselling author, an award-winning blogger, and an inspirational community builder. She wears her heart on her sleeve and tends to attract others into her life who do the same. It’s her heart’s desire to help others reconnect with their soul and plug back into their life.

After experiencing a spiritual awakening in October 2010, she went from being a complete skeptic to a believer in miracles and the magic that is always occurring all around us. She now lives her life with love and faith in the driver’s seat, and she hopes to leave a trail of inspiration wherever she goes. She believes that we each have the ability to hear our soul’s whisper and create our best lives.

Jodi Chapman is the author of the award-winning blog, Soul Speak, the creator of the Soulful Life Sanctuary, and the co-author of the bestselling Soulful Journals series, which she wrote with her husband, Dan Teck.

She lives in southern Oregon with her beautiful best friend/soulmate Dan. They share their lives with three wonderful cats: Biddle, Buncom, and Elsie.

We seem to say it so often.  We seem to think it even more:

“When I get ______ (fill in the blank), then I’ll be happy.”

My daughters say it all the time!

“Daddy, I want to get _______ (fill in the blank).  I’ll be so happy when I get it!”

I ask them, “So, you think that happiness comes from ‘getting’ things?”

They reply with the usual, “Yes!”

So, the question I ask you is the same — Does happiness come from getting “things?”  Do we think that once we get something our lives will be better?

Now, truth to be told, yes, if we think about what we usually seek, which is more money, chances are we will be happy about the fact that we don’t have to worry about where the next dollar is going to come from.  But, here’s the rub: Even if we were to experience more happiness by getting “things,” we’re not going to get those “things” or reach our highest potential if we continue with the same mentality which got us to where we are now, which is not enough “things” at the moment.

It’s “If…Then” thinking.  We say, “If I get _____ (fill in the blank), then my problems will go away, and then life will be better.”

So, how are you going to get whatever you filled in the blank with if you don’t change what you’re doing?  You didn’t really think about that, did you?

The truth of the matter is that we think that we have to change what we do between now and the future, when we actually “get” the “thing” we want.  The reality is that it’s flawed thinking.

Here’s what really has to happen: We need to change what we do “now” to have an effect on what happens in the “between,” which then will impact what will transpire in the future.

By continually thinking that all we need is to get that “thing” what we’re really doing is focusing on the “lack” of that “thing” in the now.  We’re vibrating with an energy that says, “I don’t have what I seek.  I lack it.”  When you send this signal out into the universe, the universe hears you essentially saying, “Hey Universe, I want more of this!”

The universe doesn’t discern what you “think” you want from what you are shouting out from your vibration and energy, so the universe will respond by saying, “You want more?  You’ve got it!”  And, for you, nothing changes.  You still go on, lacking what it is you really desire, and you keep sending out those vibes saying that you lack it and you like it.

So you really need to change what you think.  You actually have to think about what it is you desire, and you have to act as if that comes easily to you, and it’s just a matter of time before the “thing” you desire is on it’s way to you.

I suggest instead of thinking, “When I get _____ (fill in the blank), I’ll be happy,” instead ask yourself, “Wouldn’t it be nice if ______ (fill in the blank with what you desire)?”

When you make this switch, you make it more playful.  You are just enticing the universe to play along.  You say, “Hey Universe, wouldn’t it be fun if _______?” and the universe will say, “You want to find out?  Here you go!  On it’s way.”

Even if you’re not buying this whole “universe” thing, let me ask you this — What harm does it do to give it a try?  Are you going to be in a worse position than before if you give it a shot?  What do you have to lose?

Nothing, I believe.  You have nothing to lose by giving it a try.

Here is an article I wrote that give some more suggestions on some fun things you can try to play with your universal power!

We transmit vibrational energy.  That brings things to us that have a similar energy.  If you want to keep focusing on what you lack, the lack is what you’ll get.  Shift.  Focus on what it is you want, but make it playful.  Act as if you have it, or that you have always had it.  That simple change can really make a difference.

I’d love to hear from you!  Do you engage in “If…Then” thinking?  Do you see how perhaps making the small shift can be helpful to you?  Let me know!  Scroll down and leave a comment below.  I want to hear about it!

 

Photo: http://www.freeimages.com/profile/_jonesy_

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On my radio show this week:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This week I will be welcoming author and garden expert Fran Sorin to my radio show to talk about her book,  Digging Deep: Unearthing Your Creative Roots Through Gardening, as well as her 7-step process for being more creative in the garden as well as in life.

Click on Fran’s picture above to listen to the show!

 

There’s a Polish expression that can be translated to read, “Not my circus, not my monkeys.”

I think that the use of this expression, or at least the thought of, can really help you out when it comes to letting go of other people’s dramas or other things that just consume your time and your energy.

When we look at the injustices that are going on in the world around us, the first question to ask is “What power do I have to make a change?”

If we’re bent out of shape because we don’t like what someone else is doing, say a co-worker or someone over which you have no authority, you truly lack the power to get this person to stop doing what we don’t like.  The only way change is going to happen is if it comes from that person or from a person who possesses the authority over them to demand the change.

When it comes to the injustices and atrocities of the larger world, we definitely have the power to make a change.  However, then we have to ask the next question, which is “What actionable step am I going to take to make a change?”  If you are motivated enough to identify something wrong with the world, like this guy, and make a difference, by all means do it.

However, many people find it much more convenient to just sit back and talk about what’s wrong with the world, but that’s as far as it goes.  Now, let me make something very clear.  There’s no problem with that — there is no shame in inaction.  But, what is the benefit?  All we get out of it is bent out of shape because we don’t agree with what other people are doing, and we don’t like what we see.

“Should” leads to judgment

Instead of moving to make a change and reach a solution, we sit back and talk about how they “should” not do this or “should” not do that.  When we “should” on other people, we are led down the path to judgment.  We are led to a belief that there is a right and there is a wrong.  We believe that there is “too much” or “too little” of that.

We say, “That’s just wrong,” and then we carry on about just how “wrong” it really is, as if that is making a difference or a change.

Here’s the thing: If you’re not in a position to, or willing to remedy the “problem” and right the “wrong,” you’re just wasting your time and energy.

It’s not your circus, and they’re not your monkeys.  Just let it go.  Don’t worry about it if you’re not going to take action.

Simply complaining about what you don’t like or how you would do things differently serves absolutely no positive purpose.  All it does is solidifies you in a judgmental position and puts you in a position in which you are deviating from compassion and migrating toward violence.

Let it go.  It’s not your problem.  Injustices and horrible things are happening each and every day all over the world.  We can’t save the world by ourselves.  Let it go.

I’m not saying to turn a blind eye to the opportunities we have for change.  But, I still know how people can be, which consists of standing by and pointing out all that’s wrong with the world, but still offering no real attempt or proposed solution to make a difference.

So, to borrow another phrase, “Either sh*t or get off the pot.”  But, if you’re gonna get “off the pot,” then let it go.

It’s not your circus, and they’re not your monkeys.  So you don’t like what someone’s doing.  So?

Don’t waste your time and energy pointing out what’s wrong with the world if you can’t or are unwilling to change it. It’s just not worth it.  Spend your time and energy on positive things, like focusing on what you can do, or thinking about something that generates within you loving, positive, warm, or happy feelings.  We can greatly benefit from the efforts directed at the generation of positivity within us, and guess what?  Others will benefit as well.

More monkeys, more problems.  Just let the circus go.

 

What did you think of this article?  Did you find it helpful?  Will it make a change in how you view your current circumstances?  I’d love to know!  Scroll down and leave a comment below!

 

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On my radio show this week:

 

On Monday at 12:00 PM Central I will be welcoming Angela Artemis to my radio show to talk about how we can use our intuition to help us discover our true life purpose!

Click on Angela’s picture above to listen to the show!

I’m celebrating the upcoming “official” launch of my new book, Rise Above Criticism, Negativity, and Conflict, and I want you to be a part of the festivities!

I am sharing an electronic copy of my book, normally $9.99 on Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com, with you for free!  All I ask is that you share the promotion with others and that you leave a review on Amazon or Barnes and Noble once you complete the book.

You can skip the book description and grab your copy by clicking here.

 

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The reason I wrote this book is because it seems that conflict, negativity, and criticism are just a way of life, and we just need to learn to accept them as a way of life. We do our best to deal with them, either by speaking our minds or by staying quiet, but it doesn’t take long for us to find out that these strategies don’t work.

If you are dealing with a negative, difficult, or abrasive person, and you are searching for answers, you’ll find them in this book. You’ll discover that the solution you seek does not involve giving people a taste of their own medicine or ignoring the issue, hoping it will go away. There is a specific strategy you can use to “listen through” the negativity and criticism and reach a resolution to any communication problem, no matter how large or small.

With the help of this book, you’ll learn exactly what you can say to eliminate negative and abrasive behaviors from your life and overcome conflict with peaceful resolutions. By using the techniques shared in this book, you’ll learn how to communicate with other people in a way that decreases or eliminates the chance that your words will lead to arguments or defensiveness from others.

You’ll also learn how to ask for things in a way that will turn people from being abrasive toward you to actually making them want to help you. If you’re looking to eliminate negative and abrasive behaviors from your life, this book is for you. You’ll never look at criticism and conflict the same way ever again!

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Get your free copy of my book by clicking here!

Please share this promotion with your friends!  I want to reach as many people as possible, and change the way we deal with criticism, negativity, and conflict for good!

Thank you so much for joining in the celebration with me!

 

By nature, we are loving and compassionate beings.  Sometimes I know that I do not emulate that.  Because I rely on my feelings and emotions as a guide, I know that there are times when I’m experiencing negative emotions or resistance, so I know I’m further from the person that I want to be.  I know during those times that I’m not being authentic or true to myself, and I know that I am not living in my natural state of being.   Love and compassion are in short supply.  It can be so frustrating to experience this, especially when I am aware of it and long to be back to who I want to be!

Maybe you’re trying to figure out yourself if you’re on a path that allows you to be true to yourself.  Maybe you know you’re not, but you’re looking to get back to being more “authentically you.”  If you feel you’re “selling out,” it’s pretty obvious that you’re not in line with your authentic self.  You know you’re not being authentic because each day you’re doing something that you fundamentally know to be something you don’t believe in or stand for, but you’re doing it for whatever reasons you are.

Perhaps you feel like life just isn’t fun, or that life seems a little bit “empty” and not fulfilling to you.  This is another great indicator that you may not be completely in line with your authentic self.  It can be pretty frustrating when you know something doesn’t feel right for you, but you don’t know what to do to get out of that “rut” that you’re in.

Here are three easy ways that you can become more authentically “you” and enjoy life on your terms, doing what you enjoy and tapping into your more compassionate and loving self:

1. Don’t do it if it isn’t play

I am still amazed how often people put themselves last when it comes to taking care of people.  I’m not saying that you have to always be thinking “me, me, me,” and never do anything for anyone else.  But, isn’t it possible to do something for someone else, yet enjoy it in the process?  A lot of unhappiness comes from simply doing things that help other people, but at the same time you find little or no enjoyment in it.  I’m going to tell you here and now that no, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.  If you feel obligated to do something for someone, then it’s a creation of your own mind.  You are never obligated to do anything for anyone.  If it’s not “play” for you, then don’t do it.  If you’re serving everyone else but you, you’re going to feel frustrated and angry, but you did it to yourself.

2. Explore your core values

Just ask yourself, “What are my innermost values?“  If you aren’t sure what this means, then ask yourself, “What do I stand for?  What defines my actions?”  Maybe your core values would include honesty, love, respect, or gratitude.  Once you can identify what your core values are, the rest is easy.  It’s just comparing what you’re doing or what you’re thinking of doing to your core values.  You just need to ask yourself whether this activity is in line with your core values.  If it is, then go ahead and do it.  If it’s not, then it’s not authentically you, and you probably would be better served if you chose not to engage in that activity.  If you find you’re  a bit stuck, and you are at a loss as to what examples of values may be, or whether something is a value, the wonderful Barrie Davenport has put together an awesome list of 400 values!  Just click here and I’ll guide you to that page.  You’ll love it!

3. Stop insisting on being right

We get so stuck on playing the game called “Who’s right?”  You may be asking, “What’s the big deal about being right?  Can it be that harmful?”  Well, I wouldn’t call it “harmful,” but I would call it counterproductive and counterintuitive.  When we insist on being right, we’re turning preferences into judgments.  Instead of saying, for example, “I like the color blue,” we’re saying “Blue is the right color to like.”  If anyone prefers a different color, their color would be the “wrong” color to like if we continue to play the “Who’s right?” game.  If you can shift from “right-wrong” thinking to preferential thinking, you’ll soften your stance and have much more appreciation for other people and their preferences.  You’ll see that everyone has things they like or enjoy, and they’re entitled to enjoy them and prefer them, just as you are.  Eliminating “right-wrong” thinking is a great way to simply become more compassionate and empathic toward other people, because you begin to see how we’re all connected and similar in so many ways.  By respecting other people’s preferences as opposed to judging their choices and determining whether they’re “right or wrong,” you begin to let go of judgmentalism.  The less you judge the less you feel the need to control external circumstances and the less energy you spend defending your position.

I really hope that these three simple steps will help you become more “authentically you.”  Life is just much more fun and enjoyable when you can just be who you are with no apologies or regrets.

Did you find this article helpful?  Did something really resonate with you or speak to you today?  If it did, please let me know!  I’d love to hear about it!

Photo: http://www.sxc.hu/profile/Krappweis

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On my radio show this week:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On Monday at 12:00 PM Central I will be welcoming “Modern Day Freedom Fighter” Sandi Amorim to my radio show to talk about  reclaiming our personal freedom and how to use it to discover what’s possible!

Click on Sandi’s picture above to listen to the show!

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I am happy to welcome Keyara Fleece to my blog this week with her guest post!  Please join me in welcoming her.

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”-Leo Tolstoy

This is YOUR life! I know you don’t need me to tell you this, but it’s worth constant mention. This life is full of limitless possibilities! You are filled with many unique talents and your specific recipe of greatness can do things in this world that no one else can do.

Some hesitate to spend time on self care and self love because they think it’s selfish or sometimes they just don’t believe that they deserve the same love as everyone else. I’m here to dispel that lie. If even a small fraction of people spent more time on themselves, gave more love to their own heart, spent more time caring for their own souls…we’d live in an unrecognizable place.

You see, many of us walk around every day ignoring our own needs, our own wants and our own dreams. Our wise inner self does not sit by watching quietly, however. Our inner selves send us messages in the form of emotions and reactions to situations.

You call it lazy, your inner self is saying this is not what we’re meant to be doing. You call it unmotivated, but your inner self is motivated…to do something else.

So, here are a few simple tips to take more control (so we can all benefit from your greatness!)

1. Listen to your inner wisdom
Honor yourself when something doesn’t feel right. There is nothing wrong with you! There is actually so much right with you. Don’t let the wise inner compass that you were born with go to waste. Let it do it’s job by giving yourself some space each day to hear what you truly want. You know what’s best for you.

2. Stretch Yourself
Don’t get too comfortable! Life is not about being comfy, it’s about growing. If it hurts, you know it’s working. Make it a point to do something that takes you out of your comfort zone all the time! Your life will truly sparkle!

3. Honor Yourself
When you feel sad, don’t shut it up. Listen! What is your sadness telling you? How can you grow from this pain? When you get angry, don’t multiply the negativity by getting mad at yourself. Listen to yourself! Many times, anger is the crying of a misunderstood soul. Listen to that rage and honor it. You’re human and feeling passion is a good thing!

Everyone has passions, but the people who follow their passions and listen to their inner wisdom are in the minority. It doesn’t have to be that way. There is not a single person in this world without incredible power. I mean it. We are a race of warriors filled with limitless inner wisdom. Take your place as a warrior by taking care of your own beautiful life.

With much love,
Keyara Fleece

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Join Keyara Fleece in April for ‘Loving Me’ a 30 day challenge to stretch your emotional capacities. Keyara blogs at www.awakeningyourlight.com and she thinks that you are awesome!

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On my radio show this week:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On Monday at 12:00 PM Central I will be welcoming Ronald A. Cooper to my radio show to talk about “How to Win in Life in a Greater Way.”

Click on Ronald’s picture above to listen to the show!

Let’s face it — life can look very different depending on the perspective from which you are viewing your world.  Perceptions shape our realities.  If we perceive and accept that something is truth, our body will go along with it.

Sometimes when you get pelted with hard times, get discouraged, or just feel a little down, it’s hard to pull yourself up from the negative feelings to a place where you start to feel a bit better about life in general again.  It can start to affect you in a negative way and the funk can last for a long time if you don’t stop it dead in its tracks right away.  It happens to all of us, so I wanted to share some strategies I have found useful to shake off the blues and hold my head up once again.  They’re easy to implement, and I really hope they can help brighten your day as much as they brighten mine!

1. Use “Wouldn’t it be nice if…” to start your sentences:

I absolutely love this practice.  Just throw a “Wouldn’t it be nice…” out there, and finish it with something that you’d love to see happen.  The reason why this works for me is because it gives me permission to dream and have fun.  It gives me permission to think about circumstances positively, and assume a positive mentality and spirit.  When I play this game, I return to a state of fun and joy, and this puts me back in alignment with who I really am at my core.  I feel better (and believe it or not, my “wouldn’t it be nice if…” thoughts do come true too!).

2. Play the “Gratitude Game:”

This game is really easy to play and can lift your spirits very quickly.  All it requires is a bit of attention to the present and your surroundings.  Just look around you and note all the things that are pleasing to you.  Say those comments to yourself.  You could say to yourself, “I really love the color of the paint on those walls,” or “I really enjoy the feeling of the warm air on my skin.”  You could say to yourself, “I just love when I get to let my daughter sit on my lap and laugh together,” or you could think, “It’s so wonderful to see the sun in the sky and all its beauty.”  It just takes awareness of the present, but it really gets you aligning with a positive mentality and it lifts you out of the doldrums in a matter of moments.  You can go on and on with this exercise for as long as you like.  You can even mix things up and find a partner to play this with, and exchange thoughts verbally with them.  Just have fun with it!

3. Make a “Wishing Box:”

Get yourself a box, and start throwing things in there.  No matter how crazy it may seem, just throw whatever you wish for in this box.  Maybe it’s a check for a lot of money; perhaps it’s a picture from a magazine of a car you’re dreaming of.  Maybe you can throw in there a list of things you want to accomplish within a certain amount of time.  There are no rules!  Just have fun with this one.  This exercise gets you to think creatively of what you want, but you are giving yourself permission to just think big and make grand wishes.  The reason this helps is because you have permission to lift your inhibitions or skepticism.  You don’t have to think to yourself, “This will never happen,” because you’re just wishing for anything and everything you could ever want.  You’re actually removing your subconscious resistance and moving beyond your self-imposed limitations on what’s possible.  When you move into a “fun” mode by making these wonderful wishes, you are eliminating negative feelings caused by your restrictive belief systems which are telling you “It’s just not possible.”  Give it a try, and you may be surprised at what happens to you!  Wishes do come true!

4. “Give it up:”

This is helpful when you feel overwhelmed or at a point where you just can’t seem to move past something with which you are stuck.  Maybe you have more on your plate than you’d like, or maybe you keep coming back to the same problem over and over again and you can’t move past it.  You can do this two ways: One, you can just make a mental list of the things you can’t or don’t want to deal with, and just “give it up” to the universe to take care of for you.  Act as if the universe is at your beck and call and you can just tell it what it needs to take care of for you.  Let it go.  The second way you can do this exercise is to take a sheet of paper and divide it into two by drawing a vertical line from top to bottom on the sheet.  Put on one side the things you are going to take care of, and then on the other side, place the items that you want the universe to do for you.  Put only on your side the things you know you can accomplish that day, and leave the rest to the universe.  I have found this to be helpful in just removing the pressure from me to get everything done.  I have found that not only do I get more done because I am focused, but I feel more positive about my productivity and, believe it or not, some of those things do get taken care of very quickly because the universe is helping me out.  You’ve got to experience it to believe it!

Try out these four easy exercises.  If you do try them out, or if you’ve already done some of these yourself, please let me know and let me know what happened to you, or what your thoughts are.  I’d love to hear from you!

Photo: http://www.sxc.hu/profile/Mansee

My daughters and I were watching an episode of “Goosebumps” on Netflix together, and the title of the episode was “Be Careful What you Wish For.”  The story was about a young girl who was continually teased by some of her classmates, and found herself in a position to make three wishes.  As you can imagine, no matter how well intentioned this young girl was when making her wishes to improve her life and eliminate her problems, she soon discovered that her careless wishing ended up causing her more problems than she had expected.

While this story was obviously based in fantasy, we constantly are making “wishes” on a daily basis, fully planted in a world of reality.  We never stop reaching for something that lies beyond our current state.  We may be wishing for better health, more prosperity and abundance, better friendships, less hardship, or better luck.

It’s not a bad thing to wish for something that we’d like.  There is no shame in asking for more money, more happiness, or better health.  Money is not evil, nor is being happy or healthy.  They are actually all representations of the flow of energy from one entity to another.  They represent the ever flowing current of abundance that the universe is just waiting to hand over to us.

You may be saying at this point, “Victor, I do wish for lots of things, but that’s not the problem.  The problem is that no matter how much I wish for something, it isn’t being granted.”

I hear you.  I’ve had my share of “wishes,” large and small, that went ungranted, much to my disappointment and frustration.  Because of this, I’d become disillusioned and doubtful.  I’d become discouraged and cynical.  “Why bother?” I’d ask.  I’d start to think things like, “It’s unrealistic and way too ambitious to ask for that,” or “These aren’t they types of things that I can just wish into my life,” and I’d just give up even wishing.  Have you found yourself there too?

Be careful what you wish for.  Okay, the poor grammar is getting under my skin now.  I know you’re not supposed to end a sentence with a preposition.  “Be careful for that which you wish.”  Is that better?  Nope.  Not really…

I’ll just stick to my original statement — “Be careful what you wish for.”

Just like the young lady in the story I watched with my girls, we may think we’re asking for something that will bring us better outcomes, but because we aren’t mindful of the way we are wishing for something, we end up frustrated or disillusioned because we’re not getting what we wanted.

There is no “bad” to go with the “good.”  There is simply “good,” and “resistance to good.”  There is polarity.  There is “something,” and then the “resistance to that something.”  When you make a wish, are you really desiring something, or are you just yearning for it, thus resisting the flow of that which you desire from coming to you?

Let me put it another way: If you are asking for more happiness in your life, are you really focusing on the happiness, or are you focusing on the fact that you are currently lacking in happiness?  If you are asking for more wealth in your life, are you really focusing on wealth, or are you focusing on the fact that you are currently lacking in wealth?

If you are focusing on feeling those good, warm feelings that come with happiness and wealth, and if you can maintain those warm, positive feelings that are focused entirely on how you’d feel if you were enjoying happiness and prosperity, you’ll place yourself right in line to allow the universe to bestow in its own way exactly what you’re looking for in due time.  However, if you are offering “resistance” to the “good” because you aren’t really thinking about what you want, but rather what or how you are lacking, you are placing yourself right in line for “more of the same.”  You’ll continue to experience what you don’t want, which is a perpetuation of what you are lacking.

What do you wish for?  How are you asking for it?  Be careful what you wish for and how you ask for it.  It can make all the difference in the world between staying right where you are and having your dreams come true!

Photo: http://www.sxc.hu/profile/topfer

What makes a day an enjoyable day versus a not-so-enjoyable day?  It’s how you deal with what comes up throughout the day.  Simply put (and sometimes 0ver simplified), it’s your attitude that will define your day as wonderful or forgettable.

If you’re anything like me, above and beyond the simple “change your attitude” advice, I need some concrete recommendations, but not so many that it’s hard for me to remember them all, so that I can take some practical steps to ensure that I walk into a day setting it up to be as successful, wonderful, and peaceful as possible.

Without further adieu, here’s my simple four-step approach so you can create your own peaceful and happy day:

1. Let go of the “rights,” “wrongs,” and the other judgment talk.

We spend a lot of time trying to be “right.”  It’s a fruitless effort that just leads to debate and arguing.  Try to keep an open mind and be respectful of other people’s rights to have opinions that may differ from yours.  We all have preferences, just like we may prefer a certain color or flavor of ice cream.  Just because I like chocolate and you like vanilla, it doesn’t mean I’m right and you’re wrong.  By letting go of the need to be right, you will reduce the amount of frustration you endure.  Also, let go of the other judgment talk.  Let go of the “toos.”  We use an awful lot of “too” this and “too” that.  How much is “too” much and how much is “too” little?  How much is just right.  The truth is that the “toos” only exist in a judgmental mind.  Let go of the “toos” and you’ll find more peace.  One more recommendation: Stop using the word “should,” and replace it with “could.”  Instead of inserting your judgment on how to handle something, you soften it up by making a suggestion.  By letting go of the need to be right, eliminating the “toos,” and converting “shoulds” to “coulds,” you’ll find much more peace and less stress in your daily activities and conversations.  Trust me.

2. Give in to your feelings.

We spend so much time trying to keep our emotions out of our daily lives.   This is largely because we misunderstand what emotions really are.  Just because we use the word “feel” when we talk, it doesn’t mean we are talking about our emotions.  Many times we are diagnosing or judging.  If you say something like, “I feel you’re trying to take advantage of me,” we use the word “feel,” but as soon as we insert the “you’re” after it, we convert it from a statement about ourselves into a statement of judgment about someone else’s intents.  This no doubt will lead to defensiveness and frustration in the other person.  When you use the word “feel,” follow it with a real emotion.  You can say, “I feel sad,” or “I feel frustrated,” or “I feel overjoyed!”  According to the research of Dr. Antonio Damasio as described in his book Descarte’s Error, it has been determined that we are actually incapable of making decisions without emotions.  Emotions are important, and when we connect with our emotions, as well as the emotional state of others, we connect with others at the heart and establish a more loving and empathic level of communication, which greatly enhances our daily life.  Why wouldn’t it help?  Instead of creating feelings of defensiveness and anger in others, you will show them that you care and can connect with them at the heart.  That sounds much better to me!

3. Grab onto anything that you appreciate and “bank it.”

Dr. Rick Hanson speaks of this technique in his book Hardwiring Happiness.  When you experience something that leads to joy or happiness within you, even if it’s something relatively insignificant or routine, try to focus on that feeling for a good twenty seconds or more if you can.  Embrace it and enjoy it.  “Bank it.”  Save those feelings of joy in your memory banks.  Then, when you need it, you can always go back to that memory and those feelings and draw them out to bring happiness and joy to you no matter when you need it.  In this way, you’re not relying on external events and circumstances to bring you happiness and joy; you can find those right within yourself.  This allows you to bring joy and happiness to your life whenever you need or want it.

4. Focus on what you want, rather than what you don’t want.

One of my favorite games to play with my daughters is the “don’t” game.  If I want them to do something, I just tell them that I “don’t” want

them to do it.  When they aren’t getting ready in the morning and just kind of standing around and doing little of anything, I tell them, “I’m going to get myself dressed for work, and I don’t want you to get dressed before I finish.  Don’t get dressed.  Don’t do it.”  It doesn’t take long before they’re rushing to get their clothes changed before I do.  They do whatever it is that I “don’t” want them to do!  The truth is people listen right past the “don’ts,” and so does our subconscious mind.  It doesn’t hear the “don’ts.”  If we say that we “don’t” want something to happen, chances are greater than it will.  Energy is mass, essentially, according to Einstein.  Whatever thoughts we generate increases the amount of energy given to that thought.  When that thought grows in energy, it grows in mass.  So, if you’re spending your time thinking about the horrible things that might happen, you’re giving that energy and allowing it to grow in mass, making it more likely that it will manifest itself.  Not only that, but according to Bruce Lipton in his book The Biology of Belief,whatever thoughts you generate shape your perception, and that will shape the “environment,” this affecting your body at the cellular level.  Your body will have a physiological response to the thoughts you generate.  Your thoughts can affect your overall health and wellbeing.

By simply applying these four simple steps every day, you’ll find that you will enjoy a more wonderful day more often than not, and you will certainly bring more peace, love, and happiness to your day.

Let me know if you try these, and let me know your thoughts and how well they worked for you!

Photo: http://www.sxc.hu/profile/ctr

This past Monday on my radio show I had the privilege of interviewing Vironika Tugaleva, author of the book The Love Mindset (An Unconventional Guide to Healing and Happiness).  To say the least, I was left scrambling to listen to the replay of our conversation to gobble up all the great information, examples, insights, and profound thoughts that she had to offer!

Inspiring and wise beyond her years, Vironika helps people heal their minds and discover their inner strength.  She’s an author, speaker, reformed cynic, people lover, and a very different kind of spiritual teacher.

What Vironika teaches isn’t about fanciful fluff or indoctrinating dogma. Her approach to spirituality and love is unconventional, deep, and refreshingly real. Her deep understanding of life and love did not come from any university, organization, or church. Her wisdom flowered out of her recovery from a decade-long struggle with abuse, addiction, and self-loathing.

“For most of my life,” she says, “I had a love-sized hole inside of me. I tried to stuff it with all sorts of things. I gave it sex, money, drink, knowledge, and power. Then, I tried to ignore it. Then, when that didn’t work, I tried to display this gaping hole inside of me as some sort of proud symbol of victim-hood. Then, when that didn’t work, I found some people who had even bigger holes inside of them to try to make me feel better. None of that worked. I was empty. I was dying.”

Like many young, intelligent, and wounded people, she rejected religion and spirituality. She was isolated, cynical, and always wary of trusting people too much. With the same fiery passion that she now uses to spread love in the world, she ran herself down to a mental breakdown at the age of 23. At the bottom of a deep, dark hole, she found the true meaning of love.

From that day forward, Vironika embarked on a life-changing journey of self-discovery, healing, and epiphany. On that path, she discovered that the answers to healing and happiness lay within the hands of a subject that she (like many other academics and young people) dared not touch – spirituality.

Her teachings, including her newest book The Love Mindset, show us how we can transform our minds, our relationships, and the world by simply changing the way that we think about ourselves. Vironika teaches people about how amazing and powerful we really are.

I asked Vironika who her book was written for, and she said that it’s “written for the cynic.”  If words like spirituality and love seem “scary,” this book may speak to them as far as self-development resources go.

I followed up by asking her why this book is different from other books about love and spirituality, and why this book would help people.  She answered by saying, “When we look at books about love or when we hear about love we think that it’s this thing that other people give to us, and that the only way to get that love ‘better’ is to find ‘better’ people to give love to us, or to become more deserving of getting it.

So, we’re basically commercializing ourselves in the world of love, like ‘I am the product on the shelves,’ or ‘I’m the shopper in the aisles,’ and become either  a better shopper or a better product.”

She added that her book “takes people completely out of the store and commercialization and gives people love in such a way that they don’t need to go to anyone for it.”

When we discussed her own experience and how she bounced back from hitting rock bottom, I asked her if she thought that people had to hit “rock bottom” in order to change.  This is when such profound wisdom came pouring from her mouth:

“The change isn’t something that you make,” she said.  “The change is already occurring.  I like to think of life as a constant birth process — it’s painful, but it’s already begun.”

She added that she herself found that she was trying to crawl back into a womb of safety that was no longer there. “My mind and body were trying to tell me it’s time to go, change has already begun, get on the train, and I’m just trying to crawl back into the womb, running out of oxygen.”

“That’s when people hit rock bottom,” she explained.  “You’re trying to crawl back up and you realize I have to let go or I’m going to suffocate because there’s no oxygen in here.”

I still wanted to know what the title of her book, “The Love Mindset,” was really about and what it meant and why it’s important to adopt a love mindset, and I just loved her response.

“Love is awaiting if you just relax.  When you say “I love you to another person, you totally relax.  When we just let go into what’s already there, there is love.  Love is awaiting.

‘I love you’ means ‘you remind me of myself.’ Your spirit is coming to life, waiting for you.  The love mindset is the state of mind where you can just allow yourself to feel love all the time and allow it to heal you and fuel you.

We need love to live, and intuitively we all know that, but there isn’t a lot of practicing going on or we’re waiting for someone to help us.  We’ve got starving people everywhere, just completely suffocated from love.  By adopting a love mindset we can nourish our souls we can nourish those parts of ourselves that need love the most so we can be balanced in our lives.”

If you’d like to find out more about Vironika or buy her book (which I highly recommend), I invite you to visit her website: www.Vironika.org.

If you would like to hear our entire interview from my radio show, you can listen now by clicking here.

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**Do you want to find more positivity in a negative world?**

This Wednesday through Saturday, I am offering you a way to do just that because I feel the world needs more positivity (and less negativity), and I want to offer you a chance for it for a special discounted price!

Right now you can get my fantastic audio program, “”How do I decrease negativity in my life, and how can I become a more positive person?” usually selling for $47, for only four bucks!  That’s over a 90 percent savings to you!

In this 30-minute program, I pack 26 of my most powerful strategies that you can implement into your life to decrease negativity and become more positive on a daily basis.

Plus, if you decide to purchase this product from me at this special price, I’ll throw in my “Three Hours of Power” video training for free!  This is a signature program of mine, where I teach you how to be happier, more positive, and have more in control of your life. I’ll give you the tools you need to overcome any barriers to success, happiness, and fulfillment, so that you can live the life you have always deserved.

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If you do the math, that’s $114 worth of programming for only four bucks.  That’s over 96% in savings!  Grab yours today!

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