3 Easy Ways to Become More Authentically “You” | VictorSchueller.com

By nature, we are loving and compassionate beings.  Sometimes I know that I do not emulate that.  Because I rely on my feelings and emotions as a guide, I know that there are times when I’m experiencing negative emotions or resistance, so I know I’m further from the person that I want to be.  I know during those times that I’m not being authentic or true to myself, and I know that I am not living in my natural state of being.   Love and compassion are in short supply.  It can be so frustrating to experience this, especially when I am aware of it and long to be back to who I want to be!

Maybe you’re trying to figure out yourself if you’re on a path that allows you to be true to yourself.  Maybe you know you’re not, but you’re looking to get back to being more “authentically you.”  If you feel you’re “selling out,” it’s pretty obvious that you’re not in line with your authentic self.  You know you’re not being authentic because each day you’re doing something that you fundamentally know to be something you don’t believe in or stand for, but you’re doing it for whatever reasons you are.

Perhaps you feel like life just isn’t fun, or that life seems a little bit “empty” and not fulfilling to you.  This is another great indicator that you may not be completely in line with your authentic self.  It can be pretty frustrating when you know something doesn’t feel right for you, but you don’t know what to do to get out of that “rut” that you’re in.

Here are three easy ways that you can become more authentically “you” and enjoy life on your terms, doing what you enjoy and tapping into your more compassionate and loving self:

1. Don’t do it if it isn’t play

I am still amazed how often people put themselves last when it comes to taking care of people.  I’m not saying that you have to always be thinking “me, me, me,” and never do anything for anyone else.  But, isn’t it possible to do something for someone else, yet enjoy it in the process?  A lot of unhappiness comes from simply doing things that help other people, but at the same time you find little or no enjoyment in it.  I’m going to tell you here and now that no, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.  If you feel obligated to do something for someone, then it’s a creation of your own mind.  You are never obligated to do anything for anyone.  If it’s not “play” for you, then don’t do it.  If you’re serving everyone else but you, you’re going to feel frustrated and angry, but you did it to yourself.

2. Explore your core values

Just ask yourself, “What are my innermost values?“  If you aren’t sure what this means, then ask yourself, “What do I stand for?  What defines my actions?”  Maybe your core values would include honesty, love, respect, or gratitude.  Once you can identify what your core values are, the rest is easy.  It’s just comparing what you’re doing or what you’re thinking of doing to your core values.  You just need to ask yourself whether this activity is in line with your core values.  If it is, then go ahead and do it.  If it’s not, then it’s not authentically you, and you probably would be better served if you chose not to engage in that activity.  If you find you’re  a bit stuck, and you are at a loss as to what examples of values may be, or whether something is a value, the wonderful Barrie Davenport has put together an awesome list of 400 values!  Just click here and I’ll guide you to that page.  You’ll love it!

3. Stop insisting on being right

We get so stuck on playing the game called “Who’s right?”  You may be asking, “What’s the big deal about being right?  Can it be that harmful?”  Well, I wouldn’t call it “harmful,” but I would call it counterproductive and counterintuitive.  When we insist on being right, we’re turning preferences into judgments.  Instead of saying, for example, “I like the color blue,” we’re saying “Blue is the right color to like.”  If anyone prefers a different color, their color would be the “wrong” color to like if we continue to play the “Who’s right?” game.  If you can shift from “right-wrong” thinking to preferential thinking, you’ll soften your stance and have much more appreciation for other people and their preferences.  You’ll see that everyone has things they like or enjoy, and they’re entitled to enjoy them and prefer them, just as you are.  Eliminating “right-wrong” thinking is a great way to simply become more compassionate and empathic toward other people, because you begin to see how we’re all connected and similar in so many ways.  By respecting other people’s preferences as opposed to judging their choices and determining whether they’re “right or wrong,” you begin to let go of judgmentalism.  The less you judge the less you feel the need to control external circumstances and the less energy you spend defending your position.

I really hope that these three simple steps will help you become more “authentically you.”  Life is just much more fun and enjoyable when you can just be who you are with no apologies or regrets.

Did you find this article helpful?  Did something really resonate with you or speak to you today?  If it did, please let me know!  I’d love to hear about it!

Photo: http://www.sxc.hu/profile/Krappweis

On my radio show this week:

On Monday at 12:00 PM Central I will be welcoming “Modern Day Freedom Fighter” Sandi Amorim to my radio show to talk about  reclaiming our personal freedom and how to use it to discover what’s possible!

Click on Sandi’s picture above to listen to the show!