Putting Yourself First…Without the Guilt | VictorSchueller.com

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The following is a guest post by Diane Wing of InnerMagick.com

The kids are all set for camp or other fun summer activity, your husband is playing golf, and you…well, you are probably playing taxi driver for the kids or using the time to catch-up on errands or chores around the house.  When was the last time you had fun?

You have thought about it, dreamed about it, but your family needs a lot of attention and you want to make sure you take care of them.   Now you are too tired to make plans of your own; besides, what if they need you while you are off doing something you enjoy?

You have now entered the zone of what I call Selfless Devotion Syndrome.  This is where you are tired from doing everything for everyone else, giving to the point of personal sacrifice and exhaustion.  You are feeling edgy, agitated, and easily upset.  You feel guilty if you say no to someone who asks for your help.  Often times, it is upbringing, whether religious or family or other societal influences, that guided you to believe that if you are not giving, you’re not a good person, or someone will not get what they need, hence the reason you feel guilty and are labeled as “selfish.”

And so taking care of yourself always gets pushed off to the side so that you can give others what they need.  You are worried that if you put yourself first, others will get mad at you or not get what they need.  Ultimately, the more you give, the more people want.  You get taken for granted, attracting needy people, with those around you, including your family, assuming you’ll just “do it” for them.
You can see that a new way of being would feel great, yet you are worried that if you change, there will be many consequences.  Keep in mind that there is a real risk of losing yourself in these selfless acts.  You get to the point where you don’t know who you are anymore; your identity is dependent upon what others need from you and want you to be for them.

The Gift of You

You are caring and compassionate.  You tend to your family and make sure they are happy and healthy.  You do it out of love, not obligation.  Remember, that you are a gift to others.  Your help and guidance is given willingly, and at the same time there are things that they may be able to do for themselves at this stage.  Leverage your resources and allow those who can to take responsibility for certain tasks that you have taken on will give you some desperately needed free time for yourself.

It is amazing to see that when you treat yourself differently, the whole world treats you differently.  You teach others how to treat you.  Turn that caring toward yourself and be as compassionate with yourself as you are with those around you.

6 Keys to Putting Yourself First…Without the Guilt

Step 1: Decide that you want things to be different.

Step 2:  Set boundaries – say “no” when it’s something that doesn’t fit into your schedule or if it’s something you really don’t want to do.

Step 3: Take care of yourself first – by looking good and getting the right sleep, exercise, and nutrition, you’ll have higher energy and a positive outlook.  It also sets a good example for those around you.

Step 4:  Give people back responsibility for themselves – this lets them learn the lessons they need to get in this life, if they so choose.

Step 5: Balance your needs with the needs of those around you.

Step 6: Understand the role you play in your relationships.

When you feel good, you are in a better position to take the best care of those around you.

Diane Wing is an author, intuitive consultant, teacher, and personal transformation guide dedicated to liberating you from negative thoughts, behavioral patterns, and energies so you can release your Inner Magick and be empowered to create the life you really want!   www.InnerMagick.com

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