To Be Angry, or Not to Be Angry? A Sure Dilemma

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“Anger is a wind which blows out the lamp of the mind.” ~Robert Green Ingersoll

Yesterday I did it.  I let my emotions get the best of me.  I was rendered seemingly powerless to one small moment, and it was like poison in my veins.  I know — I am only human, and I am definitely not perfect.  To err is human, and what is even more important is to learn from temporary setbacks, so yes, yesterday was definitely one of those times from which I need to learn.

I misplaced a piece of equipment that I use.  It wandered off.  It was my own doing, as I could have very well put it back in its usual “resting” spot, so that I could easily find it.  It’s small enough to be carried off by the hands of little inquisitive minds, and definitely small enough to end up in the bottom of a toy bin, a garbage can, and heavens knows where else.

My frustration over the unknown location of my device was rising as I searched high and low, far and wide.  I checked seemingly every nook and cranny; every bin, drawer, and box; every countertop and shelf, only to come up empty-handed.  It doesn’t happen often, but I lost my cool.  I let that one small item, and more specifically the frustration from not being able to find it, take control of my life for a few brief moments.

My frustration at my inability to find my equipment overflowed to become frustration with seemingly everything.  I could feel the anger in my movements, and I could sense its effects in my voice.  My words were spoken with a more forceful and frustrated tone.  I was surprised to notice that the more I let the anger set in, the more it felt like I just needed to be angry; it was as if the more I fed the anger, the happier the anger was.

It was then that I realized I was actually choosing to be angry.  My anger was a voluntary decision.  I didn’t have to be angry, yet I was choosing to let one small device and the frustration revolving around it to dominate my thoughts and being.  I was choosing to let it poison what was otherwise a great day.

Trying to define how I was feeling could be described as three emotions — frustration, anger, and (almost) rage.

I recalled some reading I had done about Jaak Panksepp, author of the book Affective Neuroscience: The Foundations of Human and Animal Emotions.  In his book he discusses what can cause the activation of the emotion of rage.  Panksepp noted something that hit home with me and how I was feeling.  He noted that the triggers of rage “are the irritations and frustrations that arise from events that restrict freedom of action or access to resources.”   Yep, that was me — restriction of access to resources.  I couldn’t find what I needed.  He also stated that activation of RAGE circuits is “accompanied by an invigoration of the musculature, with corresponding increases in autonomic indices such as heart rate, blood pressure, and muscular blood flow.” We literally get “hot under the collar,” because our body temperature increases as well.  Yep, that was me again, and then some.

Once I realized that I was choosing to be angry about a minuscule piece of equipment, and that my choice to dwell on  it was not helping me find the object, nor was it making the day any better, I realized I needed to change my thoughts.  After a few deep breaths and some physical activity in the form of exercise, I was able to move beyond the anger and get on with the rest of my wonderful day.  I remembered that to be angry is a choice, and to feed the anger would only lead to non-productive results.

What you choose to think is what you choose to become.  We have the choice as to whether we will or will not be angry; we have the choice as to whether we will or will not choose not to let emotions get the best of us.  We are better than that, because we have the ability to choose to be better! Let’s choose to not to give in to mental mediocrity.  Let’s all choose to pave the road to greatness!

Have not just a mediocre day — have a great day!