How Comfortable Are You with Silence?
By Dr. Victor Schueller | health
The other day, I had the opportunity to “just be.” I didn’t have anything pressing to do, and I had that rare opportunity when all my household chores and other responsibilities were taken care of. Because I have the luxury of it being summer, I just walked out on the deck behind my house and just “was.”
And it felt a little bit “uncomfortable.”
At first, I had thoughts arising, trying to tell me that to “just be” is not a productive use of time.
“Is there something else I can be doing?” I thought.
“But, what should I do with this time? Should I just ‘sit here?’ Can I just do that? Is that okay?” was the next stream of thought that crossed my awareness.
But then, I just treated those thoughts the same way as I treated the sound of the wind through the trees and the sound of the birds singing in the distance. I distanced myself from “perceiving” the thoughts as thoughts, and just treated them as the “sounds of the environment,” and the thoughts eventually subsided. Heck, I finally had some time to “just be,” and I wasn’t going to squander that opportunity!
Then, I just started to open my awareness further. I let the sounds around me just come to me. I took a close look at the individual flowers in the flower box before me. I looked at the leaves, and noted their colors, characteristics, shapes, and fragrances. I just took it all in, without analysis, judgment, or critique.
I just “was.” I allowed for things to just “happen.” And I became okay with that.
Upon reflecting on this day, I realized that the initial encounter with silence, and “just being” brought about uncomfortable feelings. I realized that to “just be” was not welcomed at first.
I began to think about how I could have been doing something else that is “more productive” with that precious time, and I would venture to guess some would define that feeling within as “guilt.”
Why?
Why do we feel uncomfortable with “just being,” and being silent? Why do we believe we have to fill each moment of every day with some sort of activity, meaningful or not? Why do we seek stimulation in the form of work, tasks, chores, events, and recreation?
Why is it not okay to “just be?”
My take on it is that we have become so conditioned to seek stimulation, because we have grown uncomfortable with silence. And, my take is also that this is unfortunate. Within silence, there is so much to be discovered. There is so much that we just take for granted, don’t recognize, and don’t appreciate with our desire to stay busy and occupied. There is also so much “internal” discoveries that lie buried, simply because we have grown uncomfortable with ourselves.
And, in my opinion, we’re missing out on so much when we don’t feel comfortable with ourselves.
We’ve become accustomed to filling our days with sound, activity, and occupation that we don’t take the time to be quiet and “hear” what we actually have to say. And, I don’t mean the thoughts that come about when we’re quiet for two or three minutes before we succumb to all the “voices” in our heads that tell us about how upset we should be about what someone did or said, or how being silent is just “silly,” because it’s not going to reveal anything anyway.
I mean the thoughts that come to mind when we just sit there and tell that “noisy mind voice” that we’re not going to budge. It’s those thoughts that come to mind when we allow those “noisy mind voices” to blend into the environmental noises that surround us. It’s treating them like the hum of the refrigerator, the whisper of the wind, the birds tweeting in the distance, and the clock ticking on the wall.
When we can finally get quiet, beyond the initial “arguments” of our inner thoughts, we can then finally get a chance to be with our authentic selves. We will finally come to meet our true loving, caring, compassionate self.
Who knows? You may be surprised (and actually enjoy) who you meet!
A few months ago (when it was much colder) I did a video on the voice (and wisdom) of silence. I invite you to watch it here.
Thoughts? Reflections? Please respond below. I’d love to read what comes to mind for you.