My guest on July 2 at 12 PM Central will be Diane Wing.
There is a time and a season for everything, and it’s so true with Diane, who I am featuring this week on my Weekly Spotlight. Six months ago, I was not asking the questions of myself and wondering about the topics that I am so excited to discuss with Diane! Now I am so hungry to learn! I am looking forward to our engaging conversation!
As Diane so eloquently explains, “People, animals, situations, objects, and environments contain and give off energy. To discover how to observe, interpret, and direct this abundant energy is to harness the power at our fingertips. By understanding and being consciously aware of the energy around you is to enhance your intuition, manifest your desires, and remove the drama from your life.”
We are going to discuss just that this week on my radio show! We’re going to discuss how we feel energy, what a vibrational frequency is, why it’s important to know where you are vibrating, and how drama, guilt, and fear lower your vibrational frequency. I can’t wait!
“Dreams are like the paints of a great artist. Your dreams are your paints, the world is your canvas. Believing, is the brush that converts your dreams into a masterpiece of reality.” ~Unknown
Until about ten years ago, when I was well into my twenties, I never really challenged my belief system. Truth to be told, even after I began challenging my belief system, I didn’t realize that I had done so! All I knew is that I had made a conscious choice to stop living a life of suffering and struggling, and I made the choice to point my life into a new direction.
By March of 2002, life had become a struggle for me. I was unhealthy and largely unhappy. I was struggling in school, struggling to find meaning in life, struggling to figure out if the current career path I was undertaking was the right one, and struggling to be successful at anything.
The funny thing about it was that I didn’t know any different; I didn’t know that there could be another way to live or exist beyond the life that I was living, and the existence that was mine. My belief system was already laid out for me. My parents made conscious choices for me before I was old enough to make my own, and by the time I reached adulthood, I just continued to live out that same belief system, generating thought after thought that fulfilled that belief system. The main problem with this was that it wasn’t helping me feel good about myself or where my life was headed. Even worse, I didn’t know it was happening, and it’s hard to change something that you can’t identify as the culprit. Why did I feel so miserable and lost, and why was I so unaware of alternative ways of living? More importantly, how did I shake loose and set out on a new path?
It happened because I became inspired, then desired, and then believed.
I don’t know what struck me on that March day in 2002…I don’t know if it was my unconscious mind, reaching across the mental fog as I stared mindlessly into the television as I sat on the couch — my intuition showing me the path to my authentic self. I don’t know what it was, but I am glad it got through to me.I was immediately inspired to make a physical change. I wanted to lose weight and become healthy again. I got up, went to the phone book, found a local gym’s phone number, and called them up. Once I knew the details about membership, I was in my car and on my way to signing up for one year.
After I signed my membership agreement, I knew I committed financially, and that was enough to make sure I saw it through, at least at the beginning. As I started exercising, I visualized how good I would feel and look after reaching my goals. I had the burning desire within me. I had the developed the will to succeed, and I was not going to give up.
As I started to lose weight and gain physical fitness, I began to believe in myself. The conscious choices I had made to get up, call the gym, sign up, work hard, watch what I eat, and fully commit to physical fitness had made their way to my subconscious mind. I had no choice but to become the manifestation of my conscious choices.
Within a year, I had reached my goal and then some. Instead of losing forty pounds, as I had originally decided would be adequate, I had lost seventy — in one year. I had become who I wanted to be physically, and to no surprise, I had become alive again. I felt motivated, excited, energetic, and full of hope and enthusiasm. I haven’t looked back!
If so, see how you feel about it. Do you have the desire — the will — to begin the journey? Do you want to see it through? If so, what conscious choices can you make, right now, to make it happen? What will you choose to do to bring you one step closer to making it real?
Commit to your desires — your deepest dreams. Your conscious endorsement of the pursuit of your dreams will pave the way toward the subconscious manifestation of them. You can make it happen. Find the inspiration, feel the desire, and believe that you can make it happen.
The transition from believing to being is very real and very possible. It’s all before you. You just have to choose to make it happen.
Dad and me in 2004 when I graduated from Chiropractic School
I have to say that I had special relationships with both of my parents. I had special moments with both of them. My time with my mom was usually spent goofing and joking around, and just being silly (and like friends in many ways). It’s not common for boys to enjoy going on shopping trips with their mothers (at least I don’t think it’s common), but I always enjoyed those trips with my mom and cherish those memories of those outings dearly.
My dad and I had a much different relationship than I had with my mom, but different doesn’t mean bad, by any means. While my mom and I were like friends, my dad and I were like pals. I remember sitting on my dad’s lap in the evenings as we watched television as a family. I would rub my hands along my dad’s rough stubble on his chin, and play with the wedding band on his finger, pulling it off and putting it back on again, and just talking about things in general.
As I got older, he was the coach…I don’t mean that figuratively; he actually was a coach. He coached some basketball and lots of baseball. He was a little league coach for over ten years, and he was very successful. He started when my older brothers were playing, and he continued to coach for a few years after I was done with little league. My dad was an excellent teacher — he always taught his athletes the fundamentals, and he was a student of the game.
My dad also got me hooked on the Green Bay Packers. A die hard Packers’ fan, he has Packer yearbooks from every season, starting from the late 1960s all the way up through last season. Back in the day, before my mom passed away, he was so meticulous with his yearbooks! It was awesome…He would keep track of who the team signed (and the date they were signed), who they cut (and the date they were cut), and the scores of every game of every week throughout the season. To look at his yearbooks from those years, it is like looking at a historical record of the Packers and the NFL in general.
My most memorable moment of my time with Dad: When my dad and I were alone in the hospital after my mom was killed in a car accident and he told me that she had passed. I’ll never forget that moment with him. He ended up driving down to Indiana and back to Wisconsin that same night to pick up my older sister from college. I can’t imagine what was going through his mind on that trip…
My fondest memory of Dad: Seeing how proud he was of me when they formally introduced me, along with my fellow classmates, as a Doctor of Chiropractic. I’ll never forget that moment either!
My dad is still around — he will be 71 this summer, and he is in great physical and mental shape. In honor of Fathers’ Day, I wanted to share with you the life lessons my dad has taught (and continues to teach) me:
The Green Bay Packers rock! I was hooked…Back in 1989, I started sitting down and watching the Packers play on TV with Dad. They were pretty good that year, so it was easy to get hooked. The next couple of years were lean, but I was hooked. My most fond memory of watching Packers’ games was in 1992 when the backup quarterback, Brett Favre, entered the game after our star quarterback, Don Majkowski, got injured. I remember turning to my dad and remarking that we were doomed now that he entered the game. Okay, so I was just a little off the mark there! A couple of years ago he shared that he didn’t get around to getting a Packers’ yearbook! I couldn’t believe he was in danger of ending his streak! I gave him mine from that year so that he could keep the streak alive! 🙂
Value your children for their gifts individually — don’t make comparisons between your children. My parents had six children. My two older brothers were very athletically gifted and active in sports. My dad loved sports, and I did too, but I loved music and acting more! I was pretty active in sports through middle school and about halfway through high school, but after that I stopped participating in sports and committed fully to music and theatre. I know my dad would have preferred me to continue playing sports, but he never said a word to me about it. He respected my decision, and never compared me to my brothers. He supported me fully in my artistic endeavors.
Your children want and need you to set limits, even if they don’t recognize it. My dad was the heavy most of the time in our family. My mom preferred to stay on the kids’ good side, which has its benefits and drawbacks. My dad, however, frequently drew the line and came down on us if we were out of line. He established clear limits for us, but in the end, that discipline and structure was important for us. Children need to be provided limits and boundaries, so that they can grow into respectful and functional adults. I thank him greatly for providing limits on me as I grew. While I didn’t always appreciate it at the time, I have grown to love him for it and respect him greatly now that I have my own children.
Enjoy life to its fullest. My dad had a rough decade — his 50s. At the age of 52, he lost his spouse in a tragic car accident. It was tough on him, and I saw it first hand. He had a lot to deal with. He suddenly was solely responsible for two minor children, with two additional children who were in college and still connected to home. He had to deal with the insurance companies after the accident and related legal matters; he was responsible for getting psychologic counseling for his children as well as himself, and he still had to go to work and earn a living. I remember right after my mom passed, when he would go to the vending machines at work and buy hamburgers and sandwiches from them and bring them home to heat up for our supper. As an adult and trying to put myself in his shoes, it must have been a very scary and sad time for him. It was for us kids, and most of us didn’t have any “real” responsibility, so I can’t imagine how it was for him. My dad lives a great life now — he got remarried, is retired, and golfs most days of the week. We’ve talked many times about life in general, and he always tells me to cherish life and make the most out of it, because it can change without notice. “Enjoy life to the fullest,” he tells me.
Keep yourself physically fit. My dad ran — a lot. He would come home from work and run between four and five miles several times a week. Talking to him now, he tells me that it was one of the best things he did to give him better health now that he is older. He said he is in better physical shape than many people his age, and his mind is still sharp. This is no surprise, because increased physical activity is good for the body and the brain. As I got myself back in shape ten years ago, the image of my dad running on the country roads back home was a powerful example and motivator.
It’s not too late to learn how to do something new. My dad started playing golf in his mid 50s. He has continued to get better at the sport, and he’s actually pretty good! He would kick my butt any day. I don’t know if I’ll ever take up golf, because I blasted through a couple wrist ligaments digging my club in the ground back in 2003, but knowing that he took up something new at that time in his life sets a great example for me. I know it’s never too late to try something new!
Thanks, Dad, for always being a great example for me! You have always been someone I admire, and it continues still today! You are a great man and a great father! I thank you for all you have done and continue to do for me, and I hope that I can make you proud to be my dad. I love you!
“Make your ego porous. Will is of little importance, complaining is nothing, fame is nothing. Openness, patience, receptivity, solitude is everything.” ~Rainer Maria Rilke
It’s not uncommon for my daughters to run into disagreements from time to time when they play together. Usually their spats revolve around what an adult would consider “minor” problems. Here’s a breakdown of the usual causes of discontent and unhappiness:
1. Someone isn’t sharing something with the other.
2. Someone said something that wasn’t nice to the other.
3. Someone hurt the other physically.
4. The two don’t agree on a decision on which they are expected to reach a consensus.
I am sure there are more, but these arguments are, well, “childish,” which is to be expected, because they are children. They haven’t reached a level of maturity that allows them to transcend above this type of low-level behavior that is, for all intents and purposes, rather harmless and insignificant in the grand scheme of things.
When we look at the levels of “consciousness,” and mental functioning, we also have different levels of behavior that we, as adults, can engage in. Here is a look at the various levels of consciousness that we believe to exist:
1. The Conscious Mind
2. The Subconscious Mind
3. The Unconscious Mind
4. The Divine Mind / Spirituality / Intuition
We have the ability to move “up” the scale of conscious awareness, but in order to do so, we have to “break through” the barrier of transcendence. In other words, there are factors that limit our ability to move up to the next level, and it’s not easy to overcome these barriers.
The biggest obstacle we have to overcome in making that step from utilizing the conscious mind to tapping into our subconscious mind is fear. Fear is a hard-wired emotion that our brains are designed to experience in order to keep us safe. One interesting observation about this is the paradoxical relationship between fear and the subconscious mind; the part of the mind that is designed to keep us safe by endorsing the fearful emotions is that same subconscious mind that we are trying to tap into!
Fear is created through a variety of synapses and networked connections within our more primitive areas of the brain, most notably the amygdala. When the amygdala is stimulated, it calls for stress hormones to be released to help us either defend ourselves or run from danger. This is a reflexive response; we can’t physically will ourselves not to let this happen. Our brain and subconscious mind feels we are being attacked and we need to defend ourselves; it doesn’t distinguish between a deadly threat and a bruise to the ego. The body just knows that we need to defend ourselves. More accurately, it knows we need to prevent the loss of something, and we need to work hard to avoid losing it.
We could fear losing our life; we could fear losing power; we could fear losing control; we could fear losing a positive relationship with someone. We could fear losing money or a job; we could fear losing the status quo. Whatever it is that we fear losing, we work very hard to keep it, but that only amplifies our defense response.
The end result of letting fear hijack our mind is that we become self centered and less concerned or aware of the well being of others. We become concerned with the “ego,” or self preservation of some sort, and we operate out of a fear and scarcity mindset. We live in “Ego Land,” where we only are concerned with self preservation.
The result is that we find ourselves engaging in “low-level” functioning and concerns, much like children do when they argue about something that adults would find to be childish. They haven’t reached a level of spiritual maturity that allows them to transcend above this type of low-level and positivity-sucking, energy-wasting behavior. People who live in “Ego Land” spend their time engaged in spats over minor affairs, listening to and spreading gossip, griping and complaining, being judgmental and opinionated, and other unproductive behaviors. People who live in “Ego Land” waste their mind’s valuable resources on self preservation, so much to the point that they rarely engage in talking about ideas or tapping into their inner genius. They remain rooted in fear and scarcity, so worried about losing something.
It’s time to leave “Ego Land” behind. It’s time to be still; it’s time to be silent. It’s time to listen to our intuition — our inner guidance system — and tap into the subconscious genius that resides within each of us. It’s time to focus on the present moment — not bitter about the past or anxious about the future. When we start living out of abundant forgiveness and compassion, we start living through a “spirit-based subconscious,” and we become more forgiving, generous, and concerned with the goodwill of others.
When you can be still and tap into the wonderful subconscious mind within you, you can then proudly proclaim to yourself, “You are now leaving ‘Ego Land.'” Enjoy the ride!
“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” ~Buddha
Yesterday I was in church with my family, and my six-year old daughter, Brianna, was trying to inch her way up my legs and chest so that I would end up holding her during one of the songs we were singing. As she continues to grow and get heavier, it’s harder to hold her, and while she is six years old, I don’t like to say no to her when she wants me to pick her up. Don’t get me wrong — I don’t carry her around everywhere. Most of the time it’s when I am standing still when she wants to treat me like a jungle gym or wants me to give her a lift.
I know this time in our lives (Brianna and mine) won’t last forever. She won’t be six forever, and she won’t be giving me that look she always does when she wants to be held in my arms. I know too well already that time passes quickly, and she is growing up right before my eyes. This time of precious innocence only lasts for a short moment, and so I know I need to take advantage of these moments with her whenever I can.
As she crawled up into my arms during the service, I playfully stroked the bottom of her feet with my fingers, and she let out a joyful squeal of delightful laughter; she crawled ever higher into my arms, pulled me close, and snuggled in tight. It hit me like a lightning bolt, and my eyes welled with tears. It was an awesome feeling and a moment I absolutely wanted to seize forever. In that instant, my thoughts immediately focused on the present — the awesomeness of the “here and now.” I knew that I was right where I wanted to be; I didn’t care about the past, and I didn’t worry about the future. I just soaked up the wonderful present, and took it all in. It was pure bliss, and I was completely happy and content.
The present is a tremendous gift. It’s so easy to reminisce about the past, or worry about the future. It’s so easy to spend our time focusing on what we lost, or don’t have, or won’t have, or can’t have, that we lose perspective on the wonderful gift we possess every second of every day — the present. The present becomes the gift, but unless we focus on the present, we completely miss out on it.
Are you spending a lot of time obsessing over the losses or mistakes of the past? Are you worrying about the prospects of the future? Let’s try to spend more time simply being present. Let’s focus on enjoying the joys that exist in the here and now. Let’s enjoy what our life is right now, moment to moment, and focus on the gift we possess every instant we are alive.
Yes, sometimes we need to plan ahead, and sometimes we need to learn from the events of the past. However, we need to remember that the present is a worry-free and blissful moment in time. It’s a time to truly cherish the wonderful lives we live. It’s a time to truly enjoy the joys of life, and the wonders of the world. The present provides us with an opportunity to lose ourselves in the moment, and temporarily set aside our worries or concerns.
Take time to enjoy the present that becomes the gift. Take time to love the moment of now!
My guest today on “Positively Empowered Radio” at 12 PM Central will be Andrea Joy Cohen, MD.
You can listen to the interview, either live or archived, by clicking HERE.
Andrea Joy Cohen MD, is a physician, scientist, writer, poet and international speaker. She is the bestselling author of the highly acclaimed “A Blessing in Disguise-39 Life Lessons from Today’s Greatest Teachers, Berkley/Penguin. She has appeared in or been interviewed for many newspapers, television and radio broadcasts and magazines, including SelfMagazine, Arthritis Today, Yoga Life, O-Oprah Magazine, Spirituality and Health, LA Times, TheBoulder Daily Camera and National Public Radio. Dr. Cohen was featured in Self Magazine on the healing power of poetry.
I went for a walk two weeks ago with my three-year-old daughter at a local county park here in Wisconsin. The weather was absolutely beautiful; the sun was shining, and there was a gentle breeze in the air — just enough to keep you cool, but not cool enough to necessitate wearing a jacket. I always enjoy taking my daughter places she’s never been before, because it not only gives me the opportunity to introduce her to new experiences, but it also gives me the opportunity to see how our brains are wired and how they operate “right out of the box” when experiencing new situations.
I decided to take her for a walk through a wooded path — it forked over and over again, so you had the option to “choose your own path,” as it were, as you walked along the path. Every time we got to a fork in the path, I would ask my daughter which way she wanted to go. Sometimes the paths looked the same, but sometimes one path looked a little darker or more treacherous. It was interesting to see she rarely chose the path that was darker or looked a bit more “dangerous.” She always liked the more safe-looking paths when presented with the option.
We are running on ancient “programming,” as it were. While we have progressed so much as a species over the past few thousand years, our brains remain largely the same as they were back in the “caveman” days. Back in those days, we had to struggle just to live to see the next day, so we were built to rely on intuition and “gut” reactions. We also are hard-wired to remember successful outcomes, so that when we experience a positive (0r negative) result, we remember it and make sure we repeat (or don’t repeat) that again.
Watching my daughter decide which path to take was very intriguing, because she was exhibiting these same “hard wired” behaviors we were built to perform. It was clear that she felt hesitant about taking a route that appeared more dangerous.
What’s at play here? It really is all about a protective mechanism that is built into each and every one of us, but it’s a mechanism that we can’t really control. It’s our subconscious mind. While our “conscious” mind can be consciously controlled, the subconscious mind operates without our consent or knowledge. It does what it is programmed to do — it keeps us safe and alive. This is why my daughter was hesitant to take the “dark” path; her subconscious mind was pulling data from her memory banks and instructing her body to avoid the potential danger in the more treacherous path. She was executing that ancient program — the program that is designed to keep us safe so we can live to see tomorrow. Obviously our lives were not in danger on that day, no matter which path we took, but her brain was operating on that “out of the box” program of the “caveman” days.
Here’s a neat trick, however, that we can utilize once we have awareness of this subconscious mind and how it works. Remember how I said the conscious mind is consciously controllable? This means that we can consciously refuse or accept anything that we consciously take in through our common senses — the senses like sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch. If we don’t like something we see or hear or touch, we can consciously move away from that stimulus.
Everything that we consciously perceive — everything that comes into our sensory systems on the perceptual level — is “fed” to the subconscious mind for processing. The subconscious mind takes what it is “fed” consciously, and then executes what it is fed. While we can consciously refuse a conscious stimulus, our unconscious mind cannot refuse what it is “fed.” It can’t say no! Our subconscious mind also doesn’t know the difference between what is “real” and what is not “real!” It can’t determine what is actually true and what is actually imagined!
Knowing this information, we have tremendous power, but the power can be used for or against our benefit, so read on carefully…
If we consciously “feed” our subconscious mind beliefs that are rooted in negativity, scarcity, or fear, our unconscious mind will have absolutely no choice but to tell our body to perform actions that produce that result. However, if we consciously “feed” our subconscious mind beliefs that are rooted in positivity, abundance, and fearlessness — if we feed it what we “imagine” to be the end result — our unconscious mind will have absolutely no choice but to tell our body to perform actions that produce that result! How powerful is that?
So even though we operate on an ancient program, this program is very powerful. We can use it as a tool to positively transform our lives into whatever we can imagine. We literally have the power to “imagine” ourselves into whatever we want to become! We just have to “feed” our unconscious mind the goods! That’s it!
Let me ask you: What are your dreams? What do you absolutely want more than anything? Have you asked yourself for it? Have you been dreaming about it? Have you been imagining it? Have you asked for it?
If not, it’s time to ask! Make it an offer — it can’t refuse!
Take time to check out some great posts that inspired me this past week:
“Stillness is the first requirement for manifesting your desires, because in stillness lies your connection to the field of pure potentiality that can orchestrate an infinity of details for you.” ~Deepak Chopra
I have been making it a practice to take time to simply be present and silent when I wake up in the morning. Before I get up, I simply remain in bed, completely silent, and simply “listen” to whatever thoughts happen to pass through my mind. As the thoughts enter my mind, I simply observe them without judging or internally commenting on them. I just simply listen.
The other morning, they came — the thoughts came one after another, linking ideas and lessons learned from the past that seemingly never would have been otherwise connected, into correlations that I never would have put together if I would have consciously sat down and brainstormed ideas. I grabbed my iPad, which happened to be next to the bed, and just started noting everything that flowed through my mind. There were ideas to implement in the future, and connections from past events to future innovative strategies; there were lessons learned from books and discussions that converged together in a symphony of fluid thought, unlike anything I had ever concocted before.
After looking at the notes a few days later, I was absolutely stunned as I read the words and ideas I captured. I have enough ideas to keep me busy for years, and I am confident that more ideas will spawn from those ideas — ideas that will no doubt change my life forever in a very positive and profound way.
The power of simply being still and “listening” cannot be underestimated. In a conversation I had last week with Author Angela Artemis about intuition, we discussed how being silent and tapping into our intuition leads to great ideas coming seemingly “out of the blue.” When we are silent, we allow ourselves to connect directly with our subconscious mind, and through that silence we can become consciously aware of the workings of our subconscious mind — the workings that we are not aware of during most of our day.
Whenever you are in need of creative solutions or a creative idea, don’t be afraid to consult with the “genius” who speaks to us through silence. We all contain one; it’s just that in our ever so hectic lives we are too busy and our minds are too turbulent to hear it speak to us! As Deepak Chopra states in his book The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, “…if you do not experience a stillness in consciousness, if your mind is like a turbulent ocean, you could throw the Empire State Building into it, and you wouldn’t notice a thing…When you are constantly evaluating, classifying, labeling, analyzing, you create a lot of turbulence in your internal dialogue. This turbulence constricts the flow of energy between you and the field of pure potentiality.”
I urge you to take some time to call upon the “genius” within you who speaks to you through silence. Maybe you have a problem for which you are having difficulty finding a solution; maybe you need to come up with a creative way to accomplish something; maybe you feel your life is stagnated; maybe you simply need to reduce your stress and anxiety. Whatever your goal, that inner genius that can be found within you can be your ticket to accomplishing whatever it is you want in life.
Take time to be still; take time to listen. Find that inner “genius” within you, and explore the possibilities of pure potentiality.
“Forgiveness means letting go of the past.” ~Gerald Jampolsky
The scream of helpless surprise escaping from my mother; the crunch of colliding steel; the shattering of a windshield; the stillness of lifelessness…
This usually isn’t where forgiveness starts, but for me, it is. There I sat in a car, less than one two feet away from my mom, who was covered in blood and clinging to what was left of her life. I didn’t know what to do, other than helplessly ask a passing motorist to call for help (most people didn’t have cell phones in 1993). I was in shock — my mom was dying. Shock quickly transitioned into anger and rage as I climbed out from the passenger side of our wrecked car and walked toward the red full-size pick-up truck that had collided with our vehicle and came to rest in the ditch of the intersection of Highway I and Cedar Creek Road.
I remember shouting to the driver of the truck, “Where’d you learn how to drive?” as he was himself dealing with shock and attempting to take inventory of all that had happened. I didn’t back down as I continued toward him, adding, “Didn’t you see us? Do you realize what you have done? You killed my mom!”
The driver was visibly upset and shaken, and he was also in denial, assuring me that my mom was going to be okay. I commanded him to follow me to the driver’s side window of our crumpled vehicle, and ordered him take a look at my mom. I looked him in the eyes and said, “You look at her, and tell me she’s not dead.”
I had to process a lot of emotions right then and there. I had to process the horrific physical trauma that my mom suffered as a result of the collision; I had to wrap my mind around the fact that in the blink of an eye she was gone; I had to process and deal with the anger that welled up within me, directed toward a man who could have prevented all of this if he would have just taken the time to look a little more closely to his right before pulling out into that intersection.
Over the next four years, I had to deal with insurance companies, lawyers, and psychologists, along with my own personal demons. I was continually asked to keep re-living and re-living the events of that summer day, retelling the story to everyone who needed to know, but not realizing that it was contributing to a serious case of post-traumatic stress disorder and a heavy case of depression. Throw in the fact that I gained about a hundred pounds in weight, and I found myself staring at some serious obstacles to overcome, all stemming from this one preventable accident.
Fast forward a few years, and I’m happy to say that I was able to overcame those obstacles. However, there is one small stone that remains unturned, and I am quite honestly reluctant to flip it over after all these years and after all I’ve been through…
I still haven’t decided whether I can forgive that man who killed my mom.
Forgiveness…It seems like an easy thing to do on the surface, but when you dig deeper, it’s not that cut and dried…Is it? Here’s the kicker — I know I should forgive, but for some reason I still haven’t…The more I think about it, the more I feel that it’s more about hanging on to something or being stubborn than anything else. Holding on to the anger and resentment doesn’t hurt anyone but me in the end, which was reinforced through a wonderful piece written recently by Melody Fletcher. In her piece she reminded me, “Forgiveness isn’t about them. It’s about you.”
Maybe you are in the same boat I am in right now — Maybe you’ve been hurt by someone, and while you know you should forgive, it’s just not that easy to do so. I have asked my blogging friends to share their own posts about forgiveness, because perhaps their perspectives on the subject may offer you what they have offered me — a chance to revisit whether it’s time to finally forgive. I’ll post links to their pieces below.
I’ve realized that there is nothing left to do but forgive. After all, I’ve lived through all the pain by now, and I’ve certainly licked my wounds and grown from my experiences. Heck, I wouldn’t be writing this right now if it weren’t for those life experiences! I now am left wondering why I feel that I even need to withhold forgiveness at this point. I want to move forward, and not hold on to the past. Why, then, am I holding on to that one last thread that connects me to the past? Does it make me feel better to have the power to dangle the forgiveness card over someone who doesn’t even know I’m dangling it?
It’s time…Time to forgive…Time to stop blaming a man for something I have almost done as a driver myself multiple times since I have been driving a vehicle. It was an accident, which is why they call them such. It’s not like he saw us coming and thought, “It’s high time I screw up a family’s life (and my own) by pulling out and slamming into them.” It was an accident.
It’s time to turn that stone over…Finally…So, whoever you are, wherever you are…I forgive you. I forgive you.
There…I’ve finally done it…
I’ve forgiven him.
My friends, I hope you can find forgiveness in your heart as well. It’s not easy. I found tremendous inspiration and motivation to forgive through some of the words of my blogging friends, who have written a great deal about the subject. Here are some posts that my friends offered to share…I hope you find inspiration in them as I did. May you find forgiveness in your heart, and love and compassion toward those who need it most. I wish you happiness, health, and prosperity.
