Category Archives for "Self-empowerment and dealing with difficult people"

Please note: Don’t miss my exclusive interview with #1 NY Times Bestselling Author of the book Tribal Leadership, Dave Logan tonight at 4:30 PM!  Click here for more details!

[tweetmeme]In about three weeks, I’ll be celebrating the tenth anniversary of one of the most critical moments of my life.  It was in early March of 2002 when I got off of the couch and signed up for a membership at a nearby gym.  By March of 2003, I was seventy pounds lighter, and so much happier.

One of the main ways I got the weight off (and kept it off since) is by running…I greatly enjoy running, but let me tell you, when it comes to winters here in Wisconsin, I don’t like running in the cold. In the ten years that I have been running regularly, I had never run in temperatures below 40 degrees…Never…

My rule of thumb has always been that if it’s under 50 degrees and I want to run, I am doing it indoors. I usually experienced discomfort when breathing when it started to get colder outside, and I didn’t like to bundle up only to get warm and uncomfortable during the run because of all the layers of clothes.  I didn’t like wearing too little and then be uncomfortable and cold during the duration of the run either.  Simply put, it was just easier and more comfortable running inside than outside during the cold winters.

Well, yesterday I did it!  I decided, almost on a whim, to go out.  It was in the low to mid 30s outside (which is pretty mild for a Wisconsin February day), and I ran my usual, warm-weather route.  It felt great, with exception to my cold ears in the early leg of the run.  After I got going, however, they warmed up.  I think the only thing I would have done differently is put on a hat for the early part of the run.

Until yesterday, I was extremely uncomfortable with the idea of running in cold weather.  It’s not that I didn’t think I could do it — I just didn’t feel comfortable doing it because the perceived physical discomfort I believed I would experience while running in cold weather.  It got me thinking about the concept of change and trying new things, and why it is so hard to accept change sometimes, and why we resist change and the thought of trying something new and uncomfortable.

Our brains (and the mind within) were developed with the purpose of not only thriving, but surviving.  While our conscious minds deal with our everyday interactions at the obvious conscious level, our unconscious mind takes care of making sure we are safe.  Our conscious mind knows that we should do things, like watch what we eat, lose weight, stop smoking, and the like, but it has to actually convince our unconscious mind that it is a good idea to make a change.

This “sales pitch,” however, is a tough one.  The unconscious mind, as mentioned above, has survival down as its most important responsibility.  It likes comfort, consistency, and safety.  Our unconscious mind comes up with great excuses as to why it’s a great idea to just keep on with the status quo, because, after all, it was the status quo that allowed us to survive to see today.

Well, today my conscious mind carried the day — it was able to “pitch” a winner to my unconscious mind, to the point where it actually was convinced that it would be a good idea to venture out of the comfortable and familiar and take a run.  Consciously, I understand the benefits of exercise and why I should do it, but I am guessing the pizza that I ate the night before and the left-over pizza I ate today didn’t hurt when it came to coming up with a compelling case as to why I really felt the need for the run! 🙂

By pushing past the uncomfortable, I did a few things — I realized how my perception was skewed (and wrong); I could obviously run in cold weather, but my (somewhat unconscious) excuses to avoid it kept me from doing so.  I realized that I could actually do it, so now I can’t say that I never ran in the cold ever again.  I also felt good about doing it, so I got a boost of healthy positive self-esteem, and confidence in myself that I can venture outside of the uncomfortable in another way in the future and achieve success.

Is there something that your conscious mind knows should change, but find that your unconscious mind is continually ignoring the conscious request?  Is there something you want to try, but fear venturing into the uncomfortable?

I challenge you to find something that you know you need to change, and I challenge you to take a small step toward making that change a reality.  It’s not always easy — you really need to allow for about 10 to 14 days of repeated “nudging” by the conscious mind before the unconscious mind finally gives in and agrees to go along with the suggestions of the conscious mind.  The road may be long and hard, but trust me, great things lie ahead if you can convince your unconscious mind to make the change you consciously know you want to make!

I wish you the best in embracing change today!  Who knows?  Maybe today will be the start of something great!

Take care, and best wishes!  Have a great week!

-Victor

Photo source: freedigitalphotos.net

The Dumb Little Man knows where to go for help on dealing with fear.

Read on:

5 Little Secrets for Turning Fear into Your Loyal Servant – by Dumb Little Man.

This article contains some nice tips for dealing with those mean girls!

Read below:

Mean girls in the workplace: how to deal with them – DentistryIQ.

A great post by Steven Aitchison of the “Change Your Thoughts – Change Your Life” blog.  It really spoke to me, and I wanted to share it with you.

Here it is:

Why You Must Be Like The Lobster.

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“You can choose to be motivated by fear and scarcity or love and abundance. Both work. The only difference is people who choose fear and scarcity suffer more along the road to success. The critical thinking question is; why suffer if you don’t have to?” ~Steve Siebold

If we could only get rid of the “F” word, we would find our relationships and lives would be much better.

Without the “F” word, we would have fewer arguments, less bullying, and more civil conversations.

Without the “F” word, we wouldn’t be selfish and self serving, and we would look out for each other and serve each other’s best interests.

Without the “F” word, we would be more empathetic, less competitive, and less envious of others.

“Fear” does it all to us.  It’s that “F” word that we all have to deal with and overcome.  Fear is what got us here (if you believe in the evolutionary theory) because it’s allowed us to detect something that was potentially harmful and avoid it so we could live to see another day.

Our brains are built with survival in mind — our unconscious mind was designed to keep us safe.  We don’t feel comfortable doing something new, because the unconscious mind likes to be “comfortable” with the routines it identifies as safe and non-harmful.  When we try a new routine, or are exposed to a new situation which we are unfamiliar with, we feel uncomfortable and a bit uneasy.

We are built to preserve ourselves and the status quo.  If what got us here today was safe, then continuing that same process will get us to tomorrow.  Fear kicks in when we fear the loss of something.  What are some things we can fear losing?  Here’s a partial list:

Fear of losing:

• Contsancy/The status quo
• Pride/self-esteem
• Comfort
• Money/resources
• Being happy
• Lucky Green Bay Packers jersey/other treasured posession
• Special treamtent
• Special status/being unique
• Being center of attention
• Good/unhurt feelings
• Convenience
• Competitive advantage
• Being included
• Control

Fear of losing something is based on a “scarcity-based” mindset, meaning that there is a finite supply of the items listed above.  When we feel things are scarce we desire to preserve or protect ourselves, and we develop an “ego based” consciousness, which is a result of a self-preservation mindset.  When this happens we become more self-centered and less aware (and considerate) of others.

So, to overcome our scarcity-based mindset, which is based off of fear, we need to look to embrace more love, gratitude and forgiveness.  When we express gratitude, love, and forgiveness toward others, we start to look at things from a more “abundant” mindset.  Love, forgiveness, and gratitude are in limitless quantities — you don’t run out of them!

When things are in abundance we desire to reach out to others to share.  We develop an “spirit-based” consciousness, which is a result of a collaborative mindset, and we become less self-centered and more aware (and considerate) of other people and their needs and wants.

I challenge you to identify ways in which you are allowing the “F” word to get between you and a spirit-based consciousness forged out of an abundant mindset.  Look for ways in which you can express more love, gratitude, and forgiveness toward others.  You will find that you will place less pressure upon yourself, and you will be much more happy and fulfilled as a result.

Let go of the “F” word in your daily life, and experience the joy of abundance and spirituality!

Have a great day!

-Victor

[tweetmeme]”Training gives us an outlet for suppressed energies created by stress and thus tone the spirit just as exercise conditions the body.” ~Arnold Schwarzenegger

Have you ever noticed first-hand, or heard from someone else that exercise is a great way to relieve stress?

In the book, Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain, there is a chapter dedicated to the topic of stress and how it affects the brain.  Dr. John Ratey, the author, discusses how stress (short term) activates a division of the autonomic nervous system, called the sympathetic nervous system.  This part of our nervous system is commonly referred to as the “fight or flight” system within our bodies.  When active, we prepare to run away from danger or prepare to fight for our lives.

For example, if you were sitting in a classroom, and someone suddenly ran into the room, wielding a gun and threatening to shoot everyone (you included), your pupils and airways would dilate, your heart rate would increase, you would breathe more frequently and deeply, and your digestive system would shut down.  Your body’s response is fueled by stress hormones that rush through your body as you quickly size up the scene and decide whether to stay and fight or try to make a run for it.  As our eyes are taking inventory of the situation at hand, our brains are busy taking notes of the experience and committing them to memory for future use.

Ratey points out that our brains don’t distinguish between good and bad demands on the body — our brains just know something has disrupted our body’s “natural equilibrium,” and it’s trying to determine whether the threat to the body is severe.  The amydgala, which is a more primitive area of the brain, is responsible for determining how severe the circumstances are, and then sending a jolt down the spine to activate the sympathetic nervous system.  If you ever got that sinking feeling in your gut when you received bad news, that’s essentially what you are feeling…

The result of this jolt down your spine is the release of the stress hormones that initiate the physiological changes within your body.  Those hormones are known as epinephrine and norepinephrine…You may not have heard of these, but you may have heard of their aliases — adrenaline and noradrenaline.  They are released by small glands that sit at the top of our kidneys, called adrenal glands (which is why the hormone is called “adrenal”ine).

The end result, as I had mentioned before, is to prepare the body to mobilize in some way — either the body is going to engage in a fight for its life, or it is going to run away.  Ratey explains, “After all, the purpose of the fight-or-flight response is to mobilize us to act, so physical activity is the natural way to prevent the negative consequences of stress.  When we exercise in response to stress, we’re doing what human beings have evolved to do over the past several million years.”

In other words, our brains have been worked into a frenzy, trying to take inventory of stressors and logging the experience for future knowledge.  Why not try to do what our bodies are designed to do, and alleviate the negative toll stress takes on the brain and go for a run or engage in some other sort of strenuous activity?  Exercise is the body’s natural stress reliever!

Just another reason why exercise does the brain and body good!

Have a great day!

-Victor

Photo source: freedigitalphotos.net