Yesterday it was raining. I had a whole day ahead of me, wide open, to spend with my four-year-old daughter, Ava. When it’s relatively cool outside and rainy, some of the usual outdoor activities we do, like playing at the park, for example, were suddenly removed from the list of options we had.
“Change is a funny thing. Sometimes we want it so badly and we’d do anything for it. Sometimes we’re so scared of it that we’d give anything to stop it from happening.” ~Dani DiPirro
Why do we resist unexpected and unwanted change? Why do we have such a hard time adopting something new or accepting a new way of doing things? Why aren’t we okay with making changes? Is it the uncertainty? Is it anger that stems from knowing that if things would just be “as they always were” that things would be “better?” Is it the mentality that goes along the lines of “if it isn’t broken, don’t fix it?”
Whenever change is unexpected and unwanted, we struggle with our feelings as we come to terms with change and what the changes will mean for us. It’s hard to find a positive in changes that immediately impact us in a negative way.
I am so glad to welcome back Dani DiPirro of PositivelyPresent.com to talk about being positive and present during times of change, both expected and unexpected. Dani always is such a wonderful resource and guide for helping us all learn to change our perspectives, so you won’t want to miss her magnificently insightful thoughts during our talk this week on my radio show!
If you missed my conversation with Dani the first time, and you don’t know who Dani is, let me take a moment to introduce you to her. Dani is the founder of PositivelyPresent.com, a website dedicated to helping others live positively in the present moment. Each week, Danielle provides her readers with fresh ideas and innovative advice for living each and every moment to the fullest.
Since the site’s launch in 2009, PositivelyPresent.com has grown a considerable online following, and Danielle’s work has been featured on sites such as The Happiness Project, Think Simple Now, Psychology Today, and The Washington Post.
You won’t want to miss our discussion today! It’s all about using the power of being “positively present” to make life so much better!
Click on the microphone below to hear our conversation. It airs live at 12 PM Central today! If you can’t listen live, you can always click on the microphone below for the archived interview. It’s that easy!
“A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.” ~Albert Einstein
If I were to give you something that you valued, how would you feel? Appreciated? Loved? Respected? If you were to give me something that you know I valued, how would you feel? Better or worse?
Don’t we all really want the same things? Don’t we want to be loved, valued, respected, and appreciated? Deep down to the core, we all have this underlying desire to be loved, valued, respected, and appreciated.Continue reading
As a parent, there are two “nuggets” of information that have served me well. One piece of wisdom fell into my lap well before I had children. I remember hearing some advice from a “book on tape.” You can just imagine how long ago it was if it was truly a book on “tape!” I wish I could remember which book it was, but for the life of me I can’t remember. However, I will never forget the advice. I will paraphrase, but it went something like this:
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“Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need.” ~Marshall Rosenberg
Although it was a while ago, I still remember it pretty vividly; I was walking from the terminal at the airport downstairs to catch my shuttle to my hotel, when I heard a woman absolutely screaming at the top of her lungs at her cell phone (or more accurately, the person on the other end of the phone call on the cell phone).
She was screaming — literally screaming at this poor person who happened to field her call at what must have been a credit card company. Apparently, for whatever reason, this woman’s credit card was declined, and so she was “stuck” at the airport with no apparent way to get out of there. Well, at least that’s what she was screaming to the person at the other end of the line.
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This spring has been super busy for me. Let me just start by saying I am usually busy, but this spring has been just so especially busy. It seems like I have a million things that I know I absolutely have to do, and then there are those things (like writing) that I don’t have to do, but I absolutely love to do them, and they fuel my fire to come back and engage in the madness once again.
Have you ever been in that position? Where you know there are things you have to commit your time to, but the number of items keeps going up and up? I’ve been looking for ways to decrease the time I spend on the mundane and unnecessary. One of the things I did was start really looking through my emails and unsubscribing from lists that are no longer relevant to me. I am not exaggerating when I say that I probably spent a good half hour of time per day sifting through (and just deleting) emails from my inbox, which I knew I had no desire to read. To be honest, either the messages don’t resonate with me or I no longer need to hear it. In some other cases, the only time I hear from some is when they want me to buy something from them or buy a product they are pushing, and I don’t need that right now either.
Even after I looked at ways I could minimize unnecessary tasks, I still stare at the list of what seems like a “million” things to do. One night, it all hit me, and I confess that I felt horrible until I got it right the next day. I am just glad it only took less than twenty-four hours to rectify the situation, but upset that it even required rectifying in the first place.
It was around eight at night, and my girls were in bed. Ava, who is four and doesn’t have school, will come back out, on occasion, and ask if she can sit with me for a while and watch television. While I am not a big television watcher (especially as of late — no time!), I love gathering her up and on to my lap to watch something that she enjoys. Well, this particular night was one of those occasions, where she came out and wanted to sit with me.
The problem was that I had already settled in to do my work. I was digging in, and I had a list of about four items that I felt I absolutely had to complete before I went to bed that night. There was a hard deadline — no flex at all. Ava came to me and asked if she could stay up with me. I said to her, “Ava, I have work to do tonight. You can stay up with me, but I have to work.”
She grabbed some of her “Barbie” dolls and started playing with them a bit, and then she asked me, “When you’re done with work, can we play?”
I said, “I have lots of work to do. I won’t be able to play for a long time.” I continued to work on the computer.
She played a bit more, and then asked, “Daddy, how about we watch a show on TV.”
I said, “You can watch, but I have work to do.”
I looked at the clock, saw that it was after eight, and finally said, “No, Ava…It’s late. You need to get to bed. Go to bed.”
She put down her toys, and without saying anything, she went to bed. Ava’s a good girl who listens very well without arguments.
With my head down in my computer, I continued to work, and then, it hit me. It was a sinking feeling…A “worried” feeling. It was a feeling of anxiety over everything on my plate. I started to grow frustrated and think about the drastic measures I had to take to just lift some time off of my “to do” list. I felt like a nervous wreck. I know I was tired, and that was 90 percent of it, but still, I was not feeling good about life in general at that moment.
As I thought about my feelings for a moment, I realized exactly why I started to feel the way I was feeling. It was because I allowed my “to do” list to stand in between what my heart wanted. I let my work get in between me and my time with Ava. I put work before family.
That’s not okay with me.
Going to bed with a heavy heart was not enjoyable. Some may call it guilt; I just call it being “pissed off and regretful” at the same time.
The next evening, I made sure that I was available even if work was calling. The work can always be done, well after Ava has trailed off to sleep.
Since that evening, there have been a couple of times when I had an evening visitor. My lap is always open now. Even today, when I had a few hours in the middle of the day before going off to work for the evening, I took advantage of the opportunity to spend some quality time with Ava, watching some shows she enjoys.
No longer will I let a “million things” get between me and what is really important. My family always comes first, and now I make sure I remind myself of that. Time doesn’t move backwards. Brianna and Ava will only be young once. The “work” will never age; it will always be there. My heart knows where I need to be.
What are some things you refuse to let a “million things” keep from you? I’d like to hear what you value the most!
Photo source: freedigitalphotos.net
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Join me for this week’s interview on Monday, March 11 at 12 PM Central!
To listen to the interview, click HERE! I will be welcoming Vidya Sury to my radio show this week!
Over the past year, I have had the pleasure of building a friendship a half-world away with Vidya Sury. We are fellow bloggers, and I have learned so much about what it means to have a giving heart, a generous soul, and a love that transcends the computer screen and passes directly into someone’s heart. Vidya is such a wonderful friend — so full of love and support for so many people. One thing that frustrates me about Vidya is that she cooks all these delicious dishes and then puts pictures of them on her blog (it’s pure torture, because I love to eat). 🙂 I know that someday I will have the opportunity to sit down and actually eat one of these meals, and I have no doubt it will taste better than I can imagine.
I am so delighted that Vidya has agreed to join me on my radio show this week! Like many of my blogging friends, I know about them through the words they type, but I haven’t talked to them. I am looking forward to the opportunity for us to connect by voice, and share some thoughts and a bit more about Vidya!
Vidya is a full-time work at home Mom, Freelance Writer and professional Blogger. She also works with an independent ethics committee that reviews protocols for human clinical trials.
Vidya aims to finish her first book, The Complete Health Guide for Women this year. She loves photography and Do-It-Yourself projects, and believes everything must be tried once. Happiness is her favorite DIY project.
I know you’ll enjoy Vidya as much as I have, and I hope that you grab a seat and listen to our conversation! I can’t wait! 🙂
Facebook user? Click the “Like” button below and get my newest publication, “Unlock Your Inner Awesome Today” for free! That’s it!
“Don’t think of it; view the world from it, which implies that you are in it. Then feel the relief, the satisfaction, of being there. Do this and no power in the world can stop you from realizing that state.” ~Neville Goddard
Once every couple of months, I have the opportunity to take my younger daughter, Ava, to an art class for preschoolers. She really enjoys going to the hour-long class, presumably because she gets to paint, shape and mold clay, make bracelets, and have at a variety of other art activities she normally doesn’t get to try out at home.
At the art museum where her class is held, there is also a small café, where people can grab a bite to eat for lunch. As is customary on a Friday, I dine with Ava for lunch, and whenever we are finishing up art class at the museum, we stop by the café and eat lunch together.
This past Friday, as I was driving into town where the class is held, I asked Ava what was her favorite thing to do at art class. Her response was, “Eating lunch with Daddy.” It warmed my heart to hear those words. I was thinking the same thing — that the highlight of the class was actually the “after” part of the session, and I was delighted to hear she felt the same way.
That feeling I got when Ava said the best part of class was eating together was just awesome, and it got me thinking about the things I enjoy most in my daily life. Sometimes I feel have to commit to what seems like a million other things, but the most meaningful things in my life are the simple things. I know that when my plate is full with commitments here and there, I find solace in knowing that the simple things that I really enjoy are waiting for me. Maybe it’s catching a favorite episode of “Phineas and Ferb” with Ava, or maybe it’s grabbing a quick but enormous hug from my older daughter, Brianna. Maybe it’s just playing a game with both of my girls. Even simply enjoying a conversation with my wife is a satisfying part of the day, because It’s a time for us to connect.
One of the best things about having these wonderful moments that are so meaningful is that I get to enjoy that pure bliss, and have it in my memory banks to remember. When I have moments that are full of stress or when it seems I don’t have enough time in the day to get everything done, all I have to do is virtually put myself back in the café with Ava for lunch after art class, or virtually take a seat across from Brianna as we play a game of checkers, or place myself virtually in my kitchen, standing by the counter, listening to Shelly talk about her day. When I put myself there, I am immediately at a better place mentally and physically. It’s the best part of my day that makes every other aspect of my day that much better.
It’s not enough just to “think” about those times, it’s really about “experiencing” those times, in the here and now. It’s about actually re-experiencing those same feelings of pleasure and enjoyment in the here and now. Those positive feelings will do wonders for the body. They will decrease the circulation of the stress hormones and de-activate the “fight or flight” response in your body, which is activated during tough times. They will promote growth and health, and promote a vibrant being, one that is ready to catch that second wind and keep pressing on.
What is the best part of your day? What feelings to you experience when you are enjoying the best part of your day? How can you use those feelings to re-experience them and help you get through the more difficult times? I’d like to hear what your thoughts are! 🙂 Let me know!
My younger daughter, Ava, turned four this week. I can’t believe where the time has gone! Ava is my little love bug, and at least a few times a day I get to engage in this type of conversation with her:
Ava: “Daddy?”
Me: “Yes, dear…”
Ava: “I love you…”
It’s music to my ears.
My older daughter, Brianna, who is seven now, is my little snuggle bug. She loves to sit next to me on a chair and “hook” the inside of my arm with her little elbow, nestling closer to me as we watch television or read together. I typically receive wonderful praise from her as well on a regular basis, usually as follows:
Brianna: “Daddy?”
Me: “Yes, dear…”
Brianna: “You’re the best dad in the whole wide world!”
It’s music to my ears.
Little did I know, besides basking in the wonderful chorus of my daughters’ voices, professing their love for me (which I greatly enjoy, by the way), I am also receiving a wonderful “side” benefit from my daughters’ loving proclamations!
Within the past week, I have been chipping away at a video of Bruce Lipton of his discussion of “Where Mind Meets Matter.” It’s a two-part video presentation, which you can find on YouTube (I’ll put the videos up here at the end of my post). During this presentation, Lipton describes how our body’s cells react to our perception of our environments. He describes how the cell membrane interacts with the environment.
In the second video, he goes on to describe how our bodies really have two reactions to our perceptions of what is going on in our environment. If the cells are comfortable and “happy,” then we are in a cellular reaction of “growth,” where we grow, regenerate and repair our body parts, and we are able to maintain good health because our body’s resources are able to support a strong immune system.
On the other hand, if our cells are unhappy, usually due to a perception of a stressful situation within the environment, our bodies have to shift from a growth reaction to a “defense” reaction, and the body shuts down the growth an regeneration and pulls support from our immune system, thus making the body susceptible to opportunistic pathogens.
Lipton says that the most powerful emotion which brings about the “growth” phase within our bodies is the emotion of love. When we experience love, our cells are vibrant in health, and they are at their peak of performance. Just think about how we feel when we experience the emotion of love…Think about how good our bodies feel when we are loved and give love to others.
I am right in a period of my life where I can enjoy regular proclamations of love from my two sweetheart girls. I know this doesn’t last forever, so I will gobble up every moment I can! I also make sure that the love is returned; I tell my girls how much I love them, and how lucky I am to have such wonderful girls in my life.
Love is so very powerful. When we can extend love to others, we are helping them grow, and helping them maintain a better level of health. By being loving toward others, we can help reduce their stress and decrease the “defense” reactions that occur as a result. Love doesn’t have to be “romantic” love or even “paternal or maternal.” It can be a simple smile directed toward a stranger, or a friendly conversation in the elevator with someone who is riding along. It can be a polite gesture, like holding the door open for someone or allowing someone else to go ahead of you in the shopping line.
What are some ways you can express love to those around you? What are some ways you can help others live a healthier life?
Love is the answer! The expression (and receiving) of love is a way to health! I never thought my daughters could provide me with such a wonderful (and healthy) daily gift, but I am not complaining…It’s a great way to stay young! 🙂
As promised, here are the videos of Lipton’s presentation:
“Wear self love like a blanket of comfy cashmere” ~Anne-Sophie Reinhardt
Join me for this week’s interview on Monday, February 18 at 12 PM Central!
To listen to the interview, click HERE! I will be welcoming Anne-Sophie Reinhardt to my radio show this week!
We just celebrated Valentine’s Day last week. For most people, the celebration of the day is our love for others, which is so appropriate. So many times, we take other people, especially the people we’re closest to, for granted. We don’t take the time to let them know on a regular basis how much we truly and deeply love them. While every day could be Valentine’s Day, in reality it isn’t.
Don’t we sometimes take ourselves for granted too? Don’t we forget to tell ourselves how much we love ourselves? We often times are so good at reminding ourselves of our faults and shortcomings, and we ignore the good in who we are. Or, sometimes we feel that to tell ourselves how much we love ourselves we are being egotistical or narcissistic.
The reality is that we don’t give ourselves as much credit as we deserve, and we sell ourselves short. We tell ourselves that we are not deserving of heaps of love for ourselves, because if we feel we are deserving, there must be something wrong with us or we have some “unmet need” lurking out there somewhere. We neglect to offer ourselves some “self love,” and we suffer as a result. Ultimately, so many of our problems originate from self-image issues.
I am happy to say that today I am a healthy person; I am preparing for my first ever marathon! I just ran six miles yesterday, and I have run more in the past couple of weeks than I had in a week in a long time, and it feels great. It wasn’t always that way. I used to weigh 250 pounds. I was lazy, miserable, and unhealthy. Life was not as enjoyable back then. I certainly lacked self love and body love, and my suffering was tremendously great.
Having run the gamut, so to speak, of various levels of self love and body love, it provides me with an awesome perspective on how hard and how wonderful life can really be! I am so thrilled to welcome Anne-Sophie Reinhardt on to my radio show this week, because I know she offers such wonderful insight, perspective, and expertise on self love and body love, and I can’t wait to talk to her about it!
I came to know Anne-Sophie through a guest post on my friend Jodi Chapman’s blog last fall. I loved her message and visited her website. Since then, our paths have crossed across the “virtual landscape” a couple of times! We must have been destined to speak on my show! 🙂 I am thrilled to have her!
Anne-Sophie is an anorexia survivor, body image expert, self-love advocate and the author of The Ultimate Guide to a Healthy Body Image. Join her newsletter and receive your free 3-part video series empowering you to madly fall in love with yourself. If you haven’t already checked out her website, I highly recommend it!
Anne-Sophie has a book, which you can find on Amazon, titled The Ultimate Guide to a Healthy Body Image, and she is active on Facebook and Twitter as well, where she has already won the hearts of so many. I personally welcome you to join the large community of people already following Anne-Sophie on her wonderful journey by following her!
I can’t wait for our talk today, and I would really like it if you listened in as well! We’ll see you there!
