I sure wish I would have known twelve or thirteen years ago what I have learned by now.  Back then I was right in the middle of the most challenging and trying years of my life.  Putting in well over twenty credits a trimester, I was immersed in the rigorous curriculum of chiropractic school.  Many people have equated going through that type of schooling with putting your mouth over a fire hydrant and turning it on.  You know you’re getting a lot, but you’re not sure what you’re really soaking up (no pun intended).

I battled anxiety and I was stressed out a lot.  It wasn’t unusual for us to have about a one to two-inch stack of papers to study for one exam, and then after finishing that exam, another exam one or two days later, which also had it’s own one to tw0-inch stack of papers to study!  All of our exams carried high consequences for failure too — if you failed one exam, you had to basically repeat the whole semester once again.  To say things were a bit “tense” would be an understatement!

Even though I have moved on (successfully) from that type of life and stress, there still are other stressors that I encounter on a regular basis, and I know you do too.  We all have commitments and responsibilities, and sometimes with those come stress and anxiety at times.  It’s hard to know what to do to get past those feelings.  It’s not easy.

One thing I have found is that if I can move out of my head and into my heart I can ease the emotions associated with stress and anxiety.  You see, when we get stressed, it activates the stress-responsive mechanism in our nervous and endocrine systems called the “HPA (hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal) axis.”  When this mechanism becomes activated, it calls for the release of a short-term stress hormone called “adrenaline” (also known as epinephrine) and the body becomes activated to either run from danger or fight for preservation of life.

The negative side effects of this mechanism when we are not facing life-threatening situations is that our heart rate increases, our breathing rate increases, our pupils dilate, and the blood is shunted from our digestive organs to our muscles.  We also cut off support of our body’s defenses, and so our immune system is weaker.

One great way to break this cascade of events is by staying present.  One of the easiest ways to stay present, according to Rick Hanson, author of Hardwiring Happiness,” is to be aware of the positive experiences when they occur, stay in them for about 20 to 30 seconds, and just take it all in for that time period.  Just focus on those positive feelings (I had the pleasure of interviewing Rick late last year, and if you’d like to hear his awesome interview, just click here).

I’ve found that when I practice what Rick suggests, I get a very warm feeling that seems to come from the area of my heart.  It’s a wonderful feeling.  Rick suggests that once you create that feeling and let it sink into you, you can always go back to it as a “reference point” when you need to.

The way I look at this, and ask you to try applying it, is that when you start to feel that overwhelm, stress, or anxiety, go back to that “anchor.”  Go back to that warm, loving, happy feeling in your heart.  Just concentrate on that positive feeling and let it sink in once again.  By focusing only on this positive feeling, you will move from the anxiety caused by focusing on the past and the future and simply remain in the present and the “now.”

Continue to focus on the positive feeling.  Feel it in your heart.  Let it warm you as you think of that wonderful experience.  Feel as that warmness calms you and brings you serenity and inner peace.

When you can move to your heart and enjoy the feelings of love and warmth and pleasure, you have a much better opportunity to find the calm and serenity you desire when you need it the most.

Give it a try, and let me know how it works for you!  I’d love to hear from you!

Photo: http://www.sxc.hu/profile/Ayla87

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart” ~Helen Keller

A couple of years ago I was preparing to take a trip to California.  I remember packing a handful of honeycrisp apples into my luggage for snacking when I reached my destination.  Once I got to my room, I took out the apples and had one or two a day until they were gone.

For me, it was my first trip to California, and I was alone, so it was nice to bring something with me to remind me of home and actually (and literally) provide me with a taste of home while I was far away from it.

It’s a simple concept, really.  If I wanted to enjoy the taste of honeycrisp apples when I was away from home, I just needed to bring some along with me so that I could enjoy them while I was there.  We can take this same concept and apply it when it comes to our own emotions to do essentially the same thing.

In many ways we have been conditioned to allow our external environment to influence our feelings inside.  We allow what people say or do to impact us and define our feelings.  We allow the circumstances of the world around us to shape our emotions.  We process internal emotions after taking in the external.  We’ve got it backwards in a sense.  We need to go inside first, and allow our internal feelings to have the first crack at establishing our emotional setpoints and dispositions.

If we want to be happy and positive no matter where we find ourselves, we have to take the first step and “bottle up” the positive emotions we wish to carry with us.  When I say “bottle up” the feelings, I don’t mean to suppress them.  I mean to capture them and internalize them.

For example, one of the most wonderful emotions I bottle up every chance I get is a positive experience with my daughters.  If it’s a hug, or a kiss, or a picture that one of them draws for me, I bottle it up.  If it’s a little hand holding mine, or a light moment, or an engaging conversation, I hold on to it.

Grab that positive emotion.  Bring it down to your heart.  Feel it as it warms you.  Notice the smile on your face as you dwell on that positive feeling for a few seconds.  Capture it.  Feel it.  Experience it.  Love it.

The next step is to remain present.  Always live in the present.  Life exists in the present.  Tomorrow never comes, and we can never get yesterday back.  Live moment to moment, just like our emotions and feelings.  Our feelings change quickly as time progresses.  They are always changing and never constant.  Just as feelings can come and go, we can always move quickly to bring back into present awareness those positive feelings that were bottled up and captured.

Think of those positive experiences.  Bring them back to the heart.  Feel them as they warm you.  Notice that you’re smiling again.  Enjoy it.  Embrace it.  Love it.

As long as you pack along your positive emotions of love, compassion, warmth, and positivity, you will never be without them when you need them the most.  Bring along with you those most prized possessions that you carry in your heart no matter where you go.  Bring that internal warmth and love along with you as you venture into unknown situations and locations.  Carry with you compassion and positivity as you step into the uncertainty of life.

As long as you bring them along with you, your positive emotions will be your constant companions, ready to warm your heart and bring you love every step of the way.  No matter where you go, you’ll be ready.

What positive experiences can you or do you “bottle up” to bring with you?  I’d like to hear from you!

Photo source: http://www.sxc.hu/profile/jan-willem

“Losing weight and getting fit isn’t something you do for yourself — It’s something you do for those you love.” ~Victor Schueller

I still remember that pivotal moment in my life twelve years ago.  I was sitting in class, and we were talking about the link between obesity and heart disease.  We were discussing how people who are obese have a much higher chance of developing heart disease, and how heart disease is the number one killer in the United States.

“Wow.” I thought.  “Obesity and heart disease.”

It was the first time that the thought of developing a serious health condition weighed heavily on my mind.  I believe that the primary reason it weighed so heavily on my mind was because I was dealing with weight issues at the time.  At my worst I weighed 250 pounds, and at that time I weighed 225 pounds.

I started to take inventory and notice that I was the one being called up to serve as a model for demonstration at my chiropractic college whenever we discussed how to handle “larger patients.”  I was starting to realize that I was not the picture of health, and I was larger than most of my classmates in chiropractic school, many of which were in good health and physically active and fit.

“Obesity and heart disease.”  I was in denial.  I was fat, but I tried to convince myself that I wasn’t that fat.  I wasn’t obese.  Or was I?  I checked into it.  I realized that for my height and age and gender, I fell into the “obese” category, according to my BMI calculation.  Everything started to sink in.  I started to get a little scared.

I wanted to start a family.  I was engaged to be married.  I wanted to have children.  But, I was also setting myself up to suffer from heart disease, high cholesterol, diabetes, and a whole host of other health issues.  My obesity and potential health issues were staring me right in the face every time I looked in the mirror.

I didn’t want to die earlier than I needed to, simply because I was fat.  I didn’t want heart disease.  I didn’t want to leave children behind because I died from something that I could work to prevent.  I wanted to live a full life, and I wanted to enjoy every minute of it, too.

I continued to think about it, and it continued to bother me.  This was a change for me because my weight never really bothered me before.  It was never more than just a casual thought that I probably should do something about my weight.  But something was different.  I was getting more scared, but then I noticed that the fear started to morph into something else: anger.

It kind of snuck up on me.  I was just sitting on the couch watching television.  All of a sudden, out of seemingly nowhere, all the pent-up fear and anger reached its peak.  I remember looking down at my belly and grabbing it.  An internal “voice” within my head, which spoke to me as a very strong “thought,” said, “Victor, you’ve got to get up.  You’ve got to get moving.   You just can’t continue to go on like this.  You’ve got to do something with your life.”

All of that fear and anger was enough to get me off the couch and into the kitchen, where I grabbed a phone book and called a gym that was close to my residence.  I signed up for a one-year membership and started exercising.  Two weeks later I started to modify my diet, and the rest is history.  I worked hard and lost the weight.  One year later I weighed in at 148 pounds.

I realize now that the fear of dying young was the motivating force to make a change in my life.  I realized that losing weight and getting fit is not something I did for myself — it was something I did for those I loved.

I’m so glad it did motivate me, because my life has been so much better in so many ways since I made the change.  My physical and emotional health improved substantially, and I enjoy a healthy and active lifestyle today.

I also realized that I stumbled upon a formula that allowed me to not only lose lots of weight, but to keep it off.  I did it naturally without any pills or “diet plans.”  I did it using food I could get anywhere, and engaging in physical activity that didn’t require any fancy or sophisticated equipment.

When people asked me how I lost the weight, I just casually told them that I watched what I ate and exercised.  While this was true, it wasn’t the whole story.  As a matter of fact, I really have never told anyone exactly how I did it, and exactly what I still do today to keep the weight off and stay healthy, active, and fit.

Well, that’s all changing, because now, for the first time, I am going to be sharing my secrets with those who are are serious about making a change for themselves.  Maybe you’re in a position now where you’re sick of being overweight and out of shape.  Maybe you’re where I was — scared and fearful of what your poor health is going to mean in the future.

If this sounds interesting to you, I recommend that you take advantage of my free videos, where you can get over two hours’ worth of lessons from me.  On those videos, I share how I lost 70 pounds in one year, I discuss whether someone can eat junk food and still lose weight, and and I answer to the question, “How can I speed up my metabolism?”

Those videos are all available by visiting: http://victorschueller.com/fit-for-life-videos

I hope that these videos help you rediscover the you that you’ve been looking for!  Enjoy!

“Favorable situations are vitamins for the body; unfavorable situations are vitamins for the soul.” ~Dadashri

I can think of three big moments in my life where I fought against “what is.”  The reason why I am sharing these stories is because I could just write a piece about how it’s okay to be “okay” with “what is,” but then it turns into one of those “easier said than done” discussions, and I don’t want to go there. So, here are my “big three” moments where I learned a valuable lesson about being okay with “what is.”

Moment Number One: The “Big One”

If you know anything about my story, then you know this one.  If you watched the video on my website home page, then you know what’s coming.  I was sixteen years old and riding in the car with my mom, returning home from a shopping trip.  The next thing I know there was a truck that had blown a stop sign and was heading toward the driver’s side of our vehicle.  The truck slammed into my mom’s side of the car and she died instantly.

I struggled mightily with the loss of my mom.  Boy, did I struggle.  It took me ten years to shake it.  I definitely asked on more than a handful of occasions just to go back and re-live the moment and change the story.  I fought against “what is” tooth and nail, but to no avail.  No matter how not “okay” I was with “what is,” I had to live with it and all that went along with it.

Years later, I realized that because I had to be “okay” with “what is,” I ended up going to a college I probably wouldn’t have if my mom wouldn’t have died that day.  If I hadn’t gone to college where I did, I would likely not have met my wife and I would not be enjoying my wonderful two daughters right now.  I have learned to be okay with “what is.”

Moment Number Two: “I’m sorry, Victor”

Like I had mentioned before, I was struggling mightily to put my life back together after my mom died.  Trying to go to college and keep it together both academically and emotionally was hard for me.  I was battling through major depression and post-traumatic stress disorder during my college years, and life was just tough for a lot of reasons.

Somehow I was able to get through college and get my Bachelor’s degree in four years, and that was after switching majors.  However, I was heading off to chiropractic college the fall following my spring graduation.  Before I could get into chiropractic college I had to take two physics classes.  In order to start chiropractic school that coming fall, I had to take two physics classes that summer in an accelerated format.

I needed at least a “C” grade to have my physics classes accepted by the college.  I got a “C” in the first physics class offered the first half of the summer, but then we switched professors and started Physics II.  Believe me, it was all on me, and not the instructor (I can say that now since I am a college instructor), but I struggled to just keep my head above water.

I finished the summer getting a “CD” in the Physics II course.  This was not a high enough grade for me to get into chiropractic college, and college was scheduled to start in two weeks.  I called my professor and asked if there was anything I could do to improve my grade, and she said no.  I then asked her, “So you’re telling me that I can’t start chiropractic college in two weeks?”

I’ll never forget her words: “I’m sorry, Victor.”  She hung up the phone.  I was devastated.

I had to put off chiropractic college for one year, so that I could retake Physics II and get the grade I needed.  I ended up with a “B” on my reattempt.  Because of that year delay before going off to college, I ended up getting out of chiropractic college at an ideal time for me, and it has worked out favorably for me to this day (more on that in a bit).  Plus, I was able to come to peace with what happened at the school years later.  So, I have learned to be okay with “what is.”

Moment Number 3: “Try again, Victor”

It seemed like a recurring theme for me during my college years: “Try again, Victor.”  First it took me a couple tries and a year’s delay to get into chiropractic school, and once I got into chiropractic college I was woefully unprepared.  I still was battling my personal issues, but also trying to balance anywhere between 25 and 28 credits a trimester.  Talk about a challenge.

I was barely keeping myself afloat at the onset of chiropractic school before I got a “D” on one of my module exams.  Because of the way the curriculum was set up, getting anything less than a “C” on a module exam meant I had to repeat the module.  Oh, and did I mention that there is only one module offered per trimester?

That “D” grade meant that I had to stop where I was and wait to re-take the module again the next trimester.  This also meant that I was going to graduate one trimester later than I had originally planned.  Instead of graduating in December of 2003, now I was slated to graduate in December of 2004.

When I returned to classes the following trimester, I jumped back in and was surrounded by a group of awesome people.  Not that the people I was with in the previous semester were not nice people, by any means, but I felt that I fit in much better with this group of people.  I made friends with two people in particular who showed me that it’s possible to have fun even when working hard (Thanks Ken and Eric), and I think that really helped me along.  I learned some valuable life lessons from that setback, and it was the starting point of my personal recovery.  I didn’t look back after that, and my grades dramatically improved from then on.

So, the whole timing thing about graduating from chiropractic college a year and a trimester later than I had originally planned worked out.  I was able to get a job right out of college in a clinic close to home.  I was able to start growing professionally immediately, but then I was presented with an opportunity to teach at the college level.  I was able to leave my job as a chiropractor with no strings attached because I hadn’t really invested in anything professionally up to that point.  Had I worked with this employer a year and a third earlier, I probably would have been too far invested to be able to get out of it without things turning ugly for me.

See?  The universe has a plan for us all.  I have learned to be okay with “what is.”

All the events in the universe have transpired to get us to “what is.”  It’s the way things were meant to be.  Why fight it?  We can’t change “what is.” Even if “what is” is not what we think it “should be,” we have to remember that we can’t change things now.  We can only move forward.

When we think about how things “should be,” all we’re doing is injecting ourselves with negative energy and spending time in our head space, facilitating stress through fear and worry.  It’s all for naught, because as fearful and as worried as we are, we can’t do a darn thing about “what is.”  We can only grow to accept it.  Even if it takes years to finally realize it was all part of a larger plan, the setbacks along the way are putting us in a position to learn and grow.

That doesn’t mean we’re powerless to the universe.  We can create the future based on “what is.” We can say, “now what?” and move forward thinking from our heart space.  Move down from the head and move into the heart.  Love “what is” the best you can, knowing that it is what is meant to be for you right now for whatever the reason.

It’s okay to be “okay” with “what is.” You never know what valuable lessons and growth opportunities are just around the corner.

Do you have any stories to share?  Do you have any similar “big moments” where you were not okay with “what is,” only to find out that things worked out very well for you?  I’d like to hear about them if you don’t mind sharing!

Photo source: http://www.sxc.hu/profile/cempey

“There is nothing you can do about a present negative emotion you feel; emotions are simply the result of holding on to negative thoughts.” ~Yogi Kanna

Do you get frustrated when you struggle to keep certain emotions in check?  Maybe you struggle with anger, sadness, anxiety, or some other type of emotion.  For me, my biggest struggle is with patience.  Even though I remind myself to be patient regularly, I still struggle with maintaining patience.  If you’re anything like me, you know that it’s just so hard to keep emotions under control at times, and when they do get the best of us, we certainly don’t feel good about ourselves.

If I want to play the blame game, I can pin my emotional volatility problems onto my genetics.  I can just look at my lineage and have all the evidence I need to support the fact that I struggle to keep my emotions in check sometimes.  Unfortunately, genetics can only do so much.  As much as we’d like to blame our DNA, we do have the ability to control our emotions.  We can’t simply chalk it up to our genetic makeup, and we certainly can’t just look at our lineage and excuse ourselves from keeping our emotions in check.

So here we are at the “easier said than done” part of the discussion.  Sure, it’s easy to say we have the ability to control our emotions, but it is hard to do it, or even to know where to start.

One thing I have found particularly helpful, and I want to share it with you today, is moving from what I call the “head space” into the “heart space.”  In other words, we have to move from thinking and move toward loving.

Let me explain.  When I lose patience, it’s because I am thinking about how I want things “to be.”  The lack of patience comes from knowing how I want things “to be,” but knowing things “aren’t” what I want them “to be.”  This sort of “inner conflict” that arises because I am thinking about how things are not what I want them “to be” is the source of my negative emotion.  You could extend this line of thinking to really any sort of emotion, like anger, frustration, sadness or anxiety.

If we can get to a place where we accept things as they are, realizing that we can’t change what got us to “now,” it will help.  Just move your focus from “thinking” about how things aren’t how you want them “to be” with your head and move “down” into your heart and just fill that space with warmth and love.  

Understand that things are as they are.  Things will be as they will be.  Come to peace with what “is.”  All the events in the universe have transpired to get us to where we are now.  To “fight” against “what is” is like fighting against the universe.  You are going against the flow.  What “is” simply “is.”  We can’t change what “is.”

Just continue to surround what “is” with that warm and loving feeling that comes from the heart.  Don’t judge anything as good or bad.  Come to peace with it.  Accept it.  You can’t change it.  You can only influence what is yet to come.

Next, ask yourself what you can do in a loving way to resolve the thought.  If you can’t find an answer, then ask yourself if it’s better to move forward in love or cling to what you want things “to be.”  I am confident that if you continue to fill your heart with love, the emotion which was a cause of discomfort within will eventually soften and transition to feelings of love and warmth.

The next step, if you want to go to that next level, is to engage in meditation, to continue to return to those feelings of love.

This has done wonders for me, and I hope it helps you to help keep your emotions in check.  Give it a try, and please let me know what you thought about it.  I’d love to hear from you!

Photo source: http://www.sxc.hu/profile/svilen001