I apologize to those who tried to tune in live to listen to the show. I will re-broadcast Peggy’s interview and you can listen live at 1:30 PM. I did find a work-around as I was able to snag an audio of our interview today, and if you can’t wait until tomorrow, that’s fine, because you can listen to it right now by visiting my radio show page.
Thanks again for your understanding, and I will see you next week on Positively Empowered Radio!
“You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need.” ~The Rolling Stones
When you visit Burger King, as they say, “You can have it your way.” In the real world, however, you can’t always have things just the way you would like. Is this such a bad thing, however?
In my estimation, no, it’s not such a bad thing. It’s a valuable lesson to learn that you can’t always “have it your way.” Adversity does great things to a person, and you learn such valuable lessons from facing it and overcoming it. You may also be surprised that you will end up with results that are far different, but equally as pleasant (if not more pleasant) because you didn’t get what you wanted in the first place.
My greatest adversity? Being in a major car accident along with my mom. She was killed in the accident, and I had witnessed the whole thing. At that point, I had no choice but to accept that I couldn’t “have it my way” and get her back. I had to move on, and the personal hell that I lived through for several years was definitely not what I wanted.
In the end, I emerged, and I am a better person for it for so many reasons. I have three great reasons I can list off the top of my head: my wife and two daughters. I know I wouldn’t have met my wife, nor would I have experienced the joy of my two daughters if I would have “had it my way.” Looking back, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Things happen, in my opinion, for a reason. There is a plan larger than us.
While you can’t always “have it your way,” the “way you must have it” sometimes leads to bigger and better things, and it leads to great personal growth and wonderful life lessons. Remember that learning how to accept what life hands you, and dealing with it in a creative and productive way is the way to success in life, and it brings with it self confidence and a sense of empowerment. Take advantage of the bumps in the road and use them as lessons to learn and grow from to build a better you.
Interesting read — Researchers have shown that men and women respond differently when they see others of the same gender being treated poorly. It shows that men and women are affected differently (and suggests that women seem to take things more personally than men in similar circumstances) when treated in a rude manner.
“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” ~Mother Teresa
As a parent of young children, I especially enjoy watching my girls perform a task for the first time, especially one that I would consider myself to be rather routine. A few days ago I watched my younger daughter take apart the sections of a small orange. While I find myself taking apart the sections from “inside” to “outside,” she did entirely the opposite. It got me thinking about how we all may do things differently, but what does it matter if in the end the outcome is the same? There is more than one way to do something. One person’s way of doing things may differ from another’s way of doing things, but who’s to say one way is markedly better (or right)?
The truth of the matter is that we are often inclined to judge others and determine whether their actions are right or wrong. This comparison is usually made in relation to our own perception of what right or wrong is, or based on our preferences. Are we really in a position, however, to judge whether one’s way of doing things, or whether one’s position or opinion on a topic is right or wrong?
In an article written by Peggy Smith, who will be joining me next week on my radio show, she describes Gandhi’s definition of violence. In her article she shared his quote, “When I make myself or the other person wrong in my own thinking, that is the seed of violence.”
It’s true. How many times do our judgements of others lead to the vilification of others? How many times do we engage in subtle violent acts toward others because of our judgement of what is right or wrong?
Maybe we need to spend less time being caught up in the judgement of what is right versus wrong, or more specifically, who is right or wrong, and focus more on what the intentions or needs are of the other person. When we focus on those things, then we can open communication and build a connection, rather than slamming shut the doors of opportunity for understanding.
Just because it’s different doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Let’s build bridges, instead of slamming doors.
“It is exercise alone that supports the spirits, and keeps the mind in vigor.” ~Marcus Tullius Cicero
Note: When I wrote the title to this post, I didn’t realize that after I was done actually writing the post that the process I described for dealing with the unknown is not very easy for many people. As a matter of fact, it takes a great deal of commitment and dedication, so perhaps it is not the easiest way to deal with the unknown — rather, once you make the commitment and invest the hard work ahead of time, then it is much easier to deal with the unknown. I just thought I would point that out before I get into the actual post…Here we go…
Up here in Wisconsin, we deal with all types of weather, from tornadoes to winter storms. This time of year, we never know what kind of weather to expect. Will we get a relatively warm, sunny day, or will we experience bitter wind and cold along with a few (or many) inches of snow? I am sure no matter where you live, you also face the uncertainty of mother nature and the weather she dishes out.
So what do we do to make sure we are prepared for those unexpected changes? We prepare ahead of time, and we take care of our home, to make sure it’s up to the task of standing up to whatever weather mother nature throws at us.
Much as we need to prepare our homes for the unexpected and unknown, we also need to think about preparing the body we live in for the unexpected and unknown. Whether it’s dealing with people who are physically ill and contagious, because they have a bug or virus, or dealing with the unexpected unpleasantness of another person, we need to prepare our bodies and our minds ahead of time, so that we are prepared to stand up to whatever others throw at us (hopefully not literally).
When it comes to dealing with the unknown, the easiest and best way to prepare for it is to make sure you have a well-kept house (or in this case body). Make sure you take care of yourself physically — stay active and work on maintaining a certain level of fitness and health. Consider taking vitamins or supplements to augment your health, under the supervision of a qualified professional or health care practitioner. By doing this, your body will be primed to be more resistant to illness and disease, and if you do get sick, you get better faster.
Another reason why you want to make sure you are in good physical health is because it has a profound effect on your brain (and more importantly, your mind). Maintaining good health and a good level of fitness will allow your mind to work more efficiently and effectively, and it will prime your mind to be willing to learn more and resist more negativity. You’ll find that if you maintain a level of physical health, you are more tolerant of others and more understanding of differences. You will also find that you are more energetic and enthusiastic about what the day has to offer. In other words, you will feel more positive, and as a result, you will be less affected by negativity of others and more prepared to problem solve through unexpected and difficult issues.
This doesn’t mean that you have to get up and run ten miles today, when you have perhaps never run ever in your life. You can start small by just making it a point to be more active today than you were yesterday. It’s a great idea, however, to physically write down a goal and stick to it. This will help improve your odds of following through on your commitment. A great way to put pressure on yourself to commit to improved physical health is by making a financial commitment to it. This is what I did — I weighed over 225 pounds when I signed up for a year’s membership at a local gym. The financial commitment solidified my physical and mental commitment. I didn’t want to waste money, especially when it wasn’t plentiful in the first place. A year later I was over 70 pounds lighter!
Okay — I am just scratching the surface here…We could go so much deeper, but I don’t want to write you a chapter of a book (although it would make a good one)!
I challenge you today to look at your level of physical fitness and health. Can it be improved? How can it be improved, and what can you do to improve it. I challenge you to write the answers down to these questions, and then make a commitment to follow through on your action plan. You can do it — you just need to push yourself to commit! I know you have it in you!
It’s not a surprise — workplace bullying is bad for business. It’s bad for the workers, and it’s bad for the bottom line. Workplace bullying costs businesses good employees, good workplace culture, and real dollars too. Read more about the costs of bullying by clicking the link below:
If you want some great articles on workplace issues, I highly recommend keeping updated on articles from Janice Harper. She is an awesome columnist (and Anthropologist) who contributes to the Huffington Post regularly.
I have contacted Janice and I want to have her join me on my radio show this spring. We’ll see if we can make that happen!
Here’s her latest article, and I think it’s great. Check it out and let me know what you think!
“Obstacles are things a person sees when he takes his eyes off his goal.” ~E. Joseph Crossman
What gets you going in the morning? What drives you? Do you have something that you have to look forward to accomplishing — a future prize — in mind? To wake up to face another day — to wake up just to look to make it through another day can be a miserable existence.
Chances are that if you have no prize to keep focused on, otherwise trivial items and matters become your main focus. If you allow a void to appear within your life, something will inevitably fill it. Instead of allowing a void to be consumed with gossip, negativity, and other similarly non-productive and ineffective behaviors, why don’t you provide yourself with something to work toward? Without something to work for, you have nothing to look forward to accomplishing.
If you find that you are waking up uninspired or without a mission or purpose, I would recommend that you find something to focus on. Search to improve yourself in at least one way. Perhaps you can read about a subject that is interesting to you to expand your knowledge base in a particular area; perhaps you can take up a hobby in an area you always had an interest in; perhaps you can focus on a professional goal, such as a credential or certification within your career field, that would provide a well-needed challenge for you.
Whatever it is, give yourself a prize to work toward, and then keep your eyes on the prize. You’ll find that the trivial events and matters of each day are less important, less emotionally draining, and most importantly, much more productive and satisfying. In the end, once you accomplish your goal, the positive self esteem and sense of accomplishment will provide you with the fuel to tackle your next challenge!
Keep your eye on the prize. Let me know how it works out for you. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised!
