By Dr. Victor Schueller | Relationships health family business friends community culture work school life blogs blogging
This article contains some nice tips for dealing with those mean girls!
Read below:
Mean girls in the workplace: how to deal with them – DentistryIQ.
By Dr. Victor Schueller | Relationships health family business friends community culture work school life blogs blogging
A great post by Steven Aitchison of the “Change Your Thoughts – Change Your Life” blog. It really spoke to me, and I wanted to share it with you.
Here it is:
By Dr. Victor Schueller | Relationships health family business friends community culture work school life blogs blogging
Photo source: davelogan.com
By Dr. Victor Schueller | Relationships health family business friends community culture work school life blogs blogging
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If we could only get rid of the “F” word, we would find our relationships and lives would be much better.
Without the “F” word, we would have fewer arguments, less bullying, and more civil conversations.
Without the “F” word, we wouldn’t be selfish and self serving, and we would look out for each other and serve each other’s best interests.
Without the “F” word, we would be more empathetic, less competitive, and less envious of others.
“Fear” does it all to us. It’s that “F” word that we all have to deal with and overcome. Fear is what got us here (if you believe in the evolutionary theory) because it’s allowed us to detect something that was potentially harmful and avoid it so we could live to see another day.
Our brains are built with survival in mind — our unconscious mind was designed to keep us safe. We don’t feel comfortable doing something new, because the unconscious mind likes to be “comfortable” with the routines it identifies as safe and non-harmful. When we try a new routine, or are exposed to a new situation which we are unfamiliar with, we feel uncomfortable and a bit uneasy.
We are built to preserve ourselves and the status quo. If what got us here today was safe, then continuing that same process will get us to tomorrow. Fear kicks in when we fear the loss of something. What are some things we can fear losing? Here’s a partial list:
Fear of losing:
Fear of losing something is based on a “scarcity-based” mindset, meaning that there is a finite supply of the items listed above. When we feel things are scarce we desire to preserve or protect ourselves, and we develop an “ego based” consciousness, which is a result of a self-preservation mindset. When this happens we become more self-centered and less aware (and considerate) of others.
So, to overcome our scarcity-based mindset, which is based off of fear, we need to look to embrace more love, gratitude and forgiveness. When we express gratitude, love, and forgiveness toward others, we start to look at things from a more “abundant” mindset. Love, forgiveness, and gratitude are in limitless quantities — you don’t run out of them!
When things are in abundance we desire to reach out to others to share. We develop an “spirit-based” consciousness, which is a result of a collaborative mindset, and we become less self-centered and more aware (and considerate) of other people and their needs and wants.
I challenge you to identify ways in which you are allowing the “F” word to get between you and a spirit-based consciousness forged out of an abundant mindset. Look for ways in which you can express more love, gratitude, and forgiveness toward others. You will find that you will place less pressure upon yourself, and you will be much more happy and fulfilled as a result.
Let go of the “F” word in your daily life, and experience the joy of abundance and spirituality!
Have a great day!
-Victor
By Dr. Victor Schueller | Relationships health family business friends community culture work school life blogs blogging
I came upon this very interesting article about studies conducted by Dr. Richard Davidson of the University of Wisconsin, which claim that meditation can not only be learned by children, but also beneficial as well. Dr. Davidson will be releasing a book at the beginning of March, and I can’t wait to get my hands on it.
Here’s the article:
By Dr. Victor Schueller | Relationships health family business friends community culture work school life blogs blogging
Have you ever noticed first-hand, or heard from someone else that exercise is a great way to relieve stress?
In the book, Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain, there is a chapter dedicated to the topic of stress and how it affects the brain. Dr. John Ratey, the author, discusses how stress (short term) activates a division of the autonomic nervous system, called the sympathetic nervous system. This part of our nervous system is commonly referred to as the “fight or flight” system within our bodies. When active, we prepare to run away from danger or prepare to fight for our lives.
For example, if you were sitting in a classroom, and someone suddenly ran into the room, wielding a gun and threatening to shoot everyone (you included), your pupils and airways would dilate, your heart rate would increase, you would breathe more frequently and deeply, and your digestive system would shut down. Your body’s response is fueled by stress hormones that rush through your body as you quickly size up the scene and decide whether to stay and fight or try to make a run for it. As our eyes are taking inventory of the situation at hand, our brains are busy taking notes of the experience and committing them to memory for future use.
Ratey points out that our brains don’t distinguish between good and bad demands on the body — our brains just know something has disrupted our body’s “natural equilibrium,” and it’s trying to determine whether the threat to the body is severe. The amydgala, which is a more primitive area of the brain, is responsible for determining how severe the circumstances are, and then sending a jolt down the spine to activate the sympathetic nervous system. If you ever got that sinking feeling in your gut when you received bad news, that’s essentially what you are feeling…
The result of this jolt down your spine is the release of the stress hormones that initiate the physiological changes within your body. Those hormones are known as epinephrine and norepinephrine…You may not have heard of these, but you may have heard of their aliases — adrenaline and noradrenaline. They are released by small glands that sit at the top of our kidneys, called adrenal glands (which is why the hormone is called “adrenal”ine).
The end result, as I had mentioned before, is to prepare the body to mobilize in some way — either the body is going to engage in a fight for its life, or it is going to run away. Ratey explains, “After all, the purpose of the fight-or-flight response is to mobilize us to act, so physical activity is the natural way to prevent the negative consequences of stress. When we exercise in response to stress, we’re doing what human beings have evolved to do over the past several million years.”
In other words, our brains have been worked into a frenzy, trying to take inventory of stressors and logging the experience for future knowledge. Why not try to do what our bodies are designed to do, and alleviate the negative toll stress takes on the brain and go for a run or engage in some other sort of strenuous activity? Exercise is the body’s natural stress reliever!
Just another reason why exercise does the brain and body good!
Have a great day!
-Victor
Photo source: freedigitalphotos.net
By Dr. Victor Schueller | Relationships health family business friends community culture work school life blogs blogging
This article talks about how mental illness is affecting businesses, and how some are looking for a solution to the problem.
“In an knowledge-based economy, brains matter — and not taking care of our mental health has a negative impact on the bottom line, according to a recent report from the Global and Business Economic Roundtable on Addiction and Mental Health, a group of scientists, medical and business professionals established to raise awareness of the economic impact of mental illness.”
Read more here:
Mental illness: the trillion-dollar elephant in the workplace.
By Dr. Victor Schueller | Relationships health family business friends community culture work school life blogs blogging
A psychological study conducted by Dr. John Bargh and Dr. Shelly Chaiken measured the existence of an unconscious judgment process. In the study, they had a list of words that could either be considered good (like “friend” or “beautiful”) or bad (like “death” or “cancer”). The researchers also used a device called a tachistoscope, which is capable of flashing a picture onto a screen for a time as short as only about a quarter of a second. At this speed, the conscious mind doesn’t have time to register or process the image.
Prior to the experiment, the participants took a look at the word list and categorized each of the terms as either a good or bad term. During the experiment, the scientists presented the subjects with two words – one right after the other. The first word was flashed onto the screen, too quickly to be registered by the conscious mind, and then the second word was displayed on the screen, long enough for the participant to read the word. The subjects were asked to push a button if they thought the word was good, and another button if they thought the word was bad.
Here’s the wrinkle they added to the study – the scientists would either present two words that were congruent with each other or they would present two words that were not congruent with each other. When the words were congruent (such as flashing the word “happy” which was not registered consciously followed by the word “beautiful” which was projected long enough to be registered consciously), the participants quickly pushed a button that indicated the word was “good.” However, when the words were not congruent (such as flashing the word “cancer” which was not registered consciously followed by the word “beautiful” which was projected long enough to be registered consciously), the participant also pushed the button that indicated the word was good, but there was a notable delay in the time it took to respond!
Bargh concluded, “Therefore, everything one encounters is preconsciously screened and classified as either good or bad, within a fraction of a second after encountering it.”
What does this mean to us? It means that the unconscious mind judges absolutely everything it perceives, so we interpret everything we experience as either good or bad before our conscious mind even knows what we are experiencing!
This happens over 90 percent of the time — we make a snap decision as to whether a person or situation is good or bad. When we unconsciously decide the situation is favorable, we’ll work to forge a connection. When we decide the situation is not, we’ll work to avoid the interaction. You can see how this “snap” judgment that our unconscious brain makes can negatively affect relationships with other people.
So now that we know about this unconscious response mechanism, and that we cannot control it, now the question is what are we going to do about it?
Well, we do have two choices – we can either continue to function this way, or we can consciously become aware of it, and then move into a problem-solving mode.
If you feel any sort of emotion, whether it be anger, resentment, jealousy, hurt, or anything along those lines, your unconscious mind has already made the snap decision that whatever you are exposed to is a “no go.” It’s a sign that your mind has said nope in the snap decision process, and guess what – if you don’t intervene, your body’s control system is going to be programmed – unconsciously – to execute a command that results in the relationship ending with unfavorable results – this relationship is doomed to fail. It takes a great deal to overcome this if you let it set in, so you need to act quickly.
When you feel that emotion setting in, that means that your defense mechanisms have been activated – it means that you feel that you need to defend yourself.
This happened to me when I was trying to set something up on the computer for my wife, and I configured something incorrectly. When she told me (politely) that I screwed something up, I caught myself right before I said something like, “Well, then next time make sure you are around to do it so that it doesn’t get messed up.” How often do we say something like that? And why do we say those things? We say it because we are hurt and we feel that we have to defend ourselves…And where does the conversation go from there? If I were to say something like that to my wife, what do you think would happen?
Her defense mechanisms would kick in, and then she would likely come back with something not nice in return – it’s the start of an argument or disagreement.
Well, being mindful of the fact that the defense mechanisms were starting to set in, I just paused and let things pass – this is really hard for me to do because I am very impulsive and emotional at times. I followed up with an “I’m sorry – I didn’t realize that by setting it up that way it would cause an issue.” And you know what she said? She said, that’s okay…and then a few seconds later, she thanked me for setting it up.
See, that’s how easy it is once you get it. You have to catch yourself in the defensive mode and stop the physical manifestation of it before it gets out. Once you can do that, you can re-frame your mind in a way that is beneficial to the relationship. If you can lower your defenses and be more empathetic and understanding, and simply express your intentions or lack of awareness, the misunderstandings can be overcome. Maybe my wife didn’t know that I didn’t know that setting up the computer a certain way would have an undesired outcome. I didn’t know that – but by communicating to her that I didn’t know that it would have an undesired outcome, I knew she would then know. Once she knew my lack of understanding, she was forgiving and actually thankful for my help. She knew I was doing my best.
I challenge you to recognize those circumstances when you feel your defensiveness setting in. If you feel any sort of emotion such as anger, resentment, envy, or hurt, it’s a good chance that your unconscious mind has already made up its mind that things aren’t going to end well — that is unless you consciously override this with empathy, understanding, and compassion toward others.
I wish you a wonderful day. Take care!
-Victor
By Dr. Victor Schueller | Relationships health family business friends community culture work school life blogs blogging
Happy Valentine’s Day everyone! In the spirit of the holiday, here’s an article about why falling in love makes men “broody!”
Interesting read!
Falling in love makes men broody – life – 14 February 2012 – New Scientist.