This past Monday I had the pleasure of talking to a wonderful young man by the name of Taylor Vogt.  Taylor was my guest on this week’s radio show, and Monday proved to be one of those fine days when a guest provides a genius insight that I have never considered before, and my life is forever changed as  a result.

Taylor and I were talking about those times in life when we feel we’re stuck, overwhelmed, or not making progress, either in our personal or professional lives.  He pointed out that a lot of times this is because we are unknowingly judgmental.  In other words, we encounter a problem or negativity, but we sort of tell ourselves on a subconscious (or even conscious level) that we already know the way to solve the problem.  The result from this line of thinking is that we simply resort to the strategies and logic that we have always applied, and we get nowhere.  We still find ourselves stuck, overwhelmed, and not making any progress.

So I asked Taylor what we can do to “fix” this problem.  He said the “antidote” to being judgmental is unconditional love.

He went on to provide three steps to overcome being stuck, overwhelmed, or not making progress:

1. Identify the source of negativity.

2. Find a reason to give it love, and give it love.

3. Remove the reason, thereby removing the condition by which you are applying love, leaving “unconditional” love.

“Wow!” I thought.  Now there’s a revolutionary idea.  “Remove the reason.”  It so true — we often apply love, but we apply love for a reason, thus making it “conditional love.”  Once we remove the reason, we can move into pure unconditional love.  So cool.

Is there a way that you can give love to a negative in your life?  Is there an opportunity to “remove the reason” for the love?  I think we all can find ways to apply love to those sticky situations in life, and I know there now lies a tremendous opportunity for us to “remove the reason” and find that unconditional love that will bless us and those around us in so many ways.

Give it a try!  Let me know what you think!

I came across this story this week, and I wanted to share it with you.  I tried to track down the origin of this story, but to the best of my efforts I only could find that some believe the story originates in China, while some believe it originated somewhere in India.  If you find out otherwise, let me know.  If you want to find this story on your own, just do a search for “cracked water pot story” and you’ll have no problem finding several variations of it.  Here’s the story:

A water bearer had two large pots, each hung on one end of the pole he carried across the back of his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream, the cracked pot arrived only half full. This went on every day for two years, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots of water to his master’s house.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishment and saw itself as perfectly suited for the purpose for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its imperfection and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived as bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. “I am ashamed of myself and I want to apologize to you.”

“Why?” asked the bearer. “What are you ashamed of?”

“For the past two years, I have been able to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master’s house. Because of my flaws you have to work without getting the full value of your efforts,” the pot said.

The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and out of compassion he said, “As we return to the master’s house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path.” Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the wildflowers on the side of the path. The pot felt cheered.

But at the end of the trail, the pot still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and again it apologized for its failure. The bearer said to the pot, “Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot’s side? That’s because I knew about your flaw and took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you’ve watered them for me. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master’s table. If you were not just the way you are, he would not have such beauty to grace his house.

We all are, metaphorically speaking, “cracked pots.”  Each of us has imperfections for which we may feel ashamed or that we don’t measure up to the expectations we hold for ourselves.  We may feel that we’re letting others down too.  The truth of the matter is that we are perfect as we are, imperfections and all.  We all have a purpose, and we all have the ability to act as an instrument to bless those around us through love and compassion.    It’s just a matter of pushing past our insecurities and fears and not allowing our insecurities to stop us. We all have the ability to make a difference in our own different ways.

Are you ready to make a difference?  It’s time to realize our own purpose in our own perfectly-flawed-made-perfect sort of way.

Photo source: freedigitalphotos.net

I am so pumped to welcome the awesome Robin Marvel back to my radio show this week!  The last time I had Robin on my show, we talked about her phenomenal life story and how she overcame the steep odds against her to live a life on her terms, the way she wanted.

Now, Robin’s back with her new book, Life Check, and we’re going to talk about what we can do to get exactly what we want out of life, especially if we’re wandering around and not sure about where life is going to take us.  Robin’s book provides a roadmap and a starting point for anyone who wants to get serious about living a life full of results and accomplishments rather than hopes and wishes.

Not only that, but Robin will give you 15 FREE GIFTS when you purchase her book today!  Click here for details on her offer, which includes a free copy of my book, Mediocre No More!

• Do you keep asking yourself, when will I be happy?
• Have you forgot what it feels like to be passionate about your life?
• Do you allow excuses to become the reason you are not going after what you desire in your life?
• Do you feel you are worth an amazing life and deserve to get all the things that you desire?
• Have you been following the crowd so long you have lost sight of the real you?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, Life Check is the book for you!

Life Check provides simple, effective ways to balance your life. Encouraging you to stop asking what if and start living the life you have imagined. Freeing yourself from the mundane routine of life by providing life tools that will get you rocking the boat, diving in and finding your passion for being alive!

Robin is an authority on how to get serious about living a life full of results!  Robin Marvel is a multi-published author and motivational speaker in the field of self development.  Her past journey was peppered with homelessness, drug, sexual & alcohol abuse, low self-esteem and teen pregnancy.  By applying the tools Robin shares with others her life is now a life of motivation and purpose.
Devoting her life to encouraging others to stop looking through the wounded eye of negative experiences and start living!

Don’t miss our talk!  As always, if you aren’t able to listen live at 12 PM Central on Mondays, you can always click the microphone below and listen to a replay!

See you there!

Take a moment to think about how you speak to your spouse, significant other, partner, children, friends, or anyone else with whom you have a close relationship.  Think about how often you offer a compliment or words of encouragement, versus offering words or sentiments of a negative nature.  Do you offer more words of praise than criticism?  Do you think it’s about “50-50?” Is it hard for you to even estimate, because you never gave it much thought?

According to John Gottman, Ph.D., an award winning psychologist and author of  The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, couples who maintain a ratio of five positive moments (interactions) to each negative moment have relationships that last.  Dr. Gottman has behind him twenty-six years of research on what makes love last.

I would go out on a limb to say that this five-to-one ratio can not only benefit married couples, but anyone in a relationship, no matter what kind it is.  I think the issue at hand is that we really don’t compliment others enough.

I am guilty as charged here.  Sure, I make sure that compliments are plentiful within my household, giving them out left and right to my immediate family members, but boy do I ever fall short when it comes to dishing them out to others.  It’s definitely something that I need to work on.  I don’t know why I don’t do it.  Perhaps because I am such a “get down to business” person that I don’t take the time to actually slow down and take those moments to tell others what I really appreciate or admire about them.

Perhaps it’s about time I start doing it a bit more often.  Maybe I’ll set a goal of at least one per week.  I think I can handle that.

One other note about this ratio is that Gottman stressed that the “one” of this ratio is necessary.  It turns out that this one “critical” comment can be beneficial.  He states, “What may lead to temporary misery in a marriage, some disagreement and anger, may be healthier in the long run.” I guess it turns out that conflict can actually be a good thing to clear the air a bit and balance relationships.  Who would have thought conflict could be good?  Well, it appears it is so when it is at that ratio of five to one.

Five to one.  Is this something you find yourself doing regularly, or do you think you will have to work on this?  I know I have some work to do.  How about you?  Let me know.

In the summer of 1995 I was performing in a musical.  I had just graduated from high school, and I was reflecting on how transformative the few years of performing in theatre had been for me.  My first audition for any type of theatrical performance came just four years earlier, yet in those four years, I performed in sixteen shows and experienced success in that and many other areas of the arts.

I reflected at how, if I had been given the opportunity earlier in life, my success may have even been beyond what I had experienced at that point in time.  Perhaps earlier exposure to the arts in a more formal fashion would have opened up avenues that were closed to me, simply because I didn’t grab the opportunity early enough.  Perhaps my development and growth in key performance areas would have been enhanced if I would have recognized I had artistic talents earlier.

The thought crossed my mind that perhaps it would be a good idea to consider bringing a community theatre organization to my home town.  It was a small town and theatre opportunities were scarce.  There was a small community theatre group that had existed for many years about ten miles away.  Actually, that’s where I had been given my first theatre opportunity four years earlier, but still, to ask parents to drive children ten miles one way several times a week is prohibitive in many cases.

I thought, “Why not offer theatre here, right in Random Lake?”  Thinking I may have been on to something, I called two very dear and close friends of mine who shared that same love of theatre, and whom I enjoyed performing with in the other community theatre group.  They agreed it would be a great idea, and so that was the start of what is now Lakeshore Productions, Inc. in the small community of Random Lake.

Don’t get me wrong.  If it weren’t for those two other wonderfully talented and committed young men, it never would have happened.  They took the bull by the horns and they ran with it.  They did much of the heavy lifting, and they really put everything they had into it.  I am forever indebted to Andy and Ryan for their efforts.  They are the ones who truly made it happen.

We also had strong support from key community members and businesses.  They were behind us, and they helped us through sponsorship or direct funding.  The Random Lake High School Booster Club was a financial backer as well as an “in” so that we were considered a “school” group, so that we had access to use the auditorium, which was located within the high school.  We also got buy in from the local hardware store, Doegnitz Hardware, and the local variety store, Burmesch Variety, to sell tickets for us in the early years.  Actually, every year I still call Doegnitz Hardware to buy my tickets!  I can’t even begin to name the number of other people and businesses who poured so much into that organization then and now.

Just last week, my family and I enjoyed the organization’s 18th production of The Music Man.  It was an awesome show.  Believe it or not, there are some people involved with that show who have been with the organization each of those years.  One particular fixture, Bob, made his theatre debut in the theatre organizations first show, and he has been in dozens of shows since with this and other theatre groups.

When I think of the literally thousands of people who have been positively impacted by this theatre organization, I can’t help but chuckle and shake my head in amazement at how one idea and a couple of phone calls turned into something so wonderful, and has influenced so many.  For those of you “Survivor” fans, our most “famous” performer for the theatre organization is Andrea Boehlke, who was on the television series twice, and can be found in several other places within the media now days.  While she is the most notable “alumnus” of the organization, there have been many who have pursued careers in the arts since those days with the group.  As a matter of fact, Joe, the director for the past three shows was one of our “munchkins” (as was Andrea) in our first performance, The Wizard of Oz, back in 1996.

Everyone has the potential to leave a legacy, and it can have small beginnings.  We all have the potential to make a difference in this world.  You’ll find that there are people who will go out of their way to help you and stand with you and take it to new levels if you allow for it to happen.

Is there a difference you want to make?  How can you make it happen?  The first step is just taking action.  The next is seeing where it takes you.  Brace yourself, because it can be a fun ride!  Leave your legacy!  It starts today!