Finding the “Love Mindset” with Vironika Tugaleva | VictorSchueller.com

This past Monday on my radio show I had the privilege of interviewing Vironika Tugaleva, author of the book The Love Mindset (An Unconventional Guide to Healing and Happiness).  To say the least, I was left scrambling to listen to the replay of our conversation to gobble up all the great information, examples, insights, and profound thoughts that she had to offer!

Inspiring and wise beyond her years, Vironika helps people heal their minds and discover their inner strength.  She’s an author, speaker, reformed cynic, people lover, and a very different kind of spiritual teacher.

What Vironika teaches isn’t about fanciful fluff or indoctrinating dogma. Her approach to spirituality and love is unconventional, deep, and refreshingly real. Her deep understanding of life and love did not come from any university, organization, or church. Her wisdom flowered out of her recovery from a decade-long struggle with abuse, addiction, and self-loathing.

“For most of my life,” she says, “I had a love-sized hole inside of me. I tried to stuff it with all sorts of things. I gave it sex, money, drink, knowledge, and power. Then, I tried to ignore it. Then, when that didn’t work, I tried to display this gaping hole inside of me as some sort of proud symbol of victim-hood. Then, when that didn’t work, I found some people who had even bigger holes inside of them to try to make me feel better. None of that worked. I was empty. I was dying.”

Like many young, intelligent, and wounded people, she rejected religion and spirituality. She was isolated, cynical, and always wary of trusting people too much. With the same fiery passion that she now uses to spread love in the world, she ran herself down to a mental breakdown at the age of 23. At the bottom of a deep, dark hole, she found the true meaning of love.

From that day forward, Vironika embarked on a life-changing journey of self-discovery, healing, and epiphany. On that path, she discovered that the answers to healing and happiness lay within the hands of a subject that she (like many other academics and young people) dared not touch – spirituality.

Her teachings, including her newest book The Love Mindset, show us how we can transform our minds, our relationships, and the world by simply changing the way that we think about ourselves. Vironika teaches people about how amazing and powerful we really are.

I asked Vironika who her book was written for, and she said that it’s “written for the cynic.”  If words like spirituality and love seem “scary,” this book may speak to them as far as self-development resources go.

I followed up by asking her why this book is different from other books about love and spirituality, and why this book would help people.  She answered by saying, “When we look at books about love or when we hear about love we think that it’s this thing that other people give to us, and that the only way to get that love ‘better’ is to find ‘better’ people to give love to us, or to become more deserving of getting it.

So, we’re basically commercializing ourselves in the world of love, like ‘I am the product on the shelves,’ or ‘I’m the shopper in the aisles,’ and become either  a better shopper or a better product.”

She added that her book “takes people completely out of the store and commercialization and gives people love in such a way that they don’t need to go to anyone for it.”

When we discussed her own experience and how she bounced back from hitting rock bottom, I asked her if she thought that people had to hit “rock bottom” in order to change.  This is when such profound wisdom came pouring from her mouth:

“The change isn’t something that you make,” she said.  “The change is already occurring.  I like to think of life as a constant birth process — it’s painful, but it’s already begun.”

She added that she herself found that she was trying to crawl back into a womb of safety that was no longer there. “My mind and body were trying to tell me it’s time to go, change has already begun, get on the train, and I’m just trying to crawl back into the womb, running out of oxygen.”

“That’s when people hit rock bottom,” she explained.  “You’re trying to crawl back up and you realize I have to let go or I’m going to suffocate because there’s no oxygen in here.”

I still wanted to know what the title of her book, “The Love Mindset,” was really about and what it meant and why it’s important to adopt a love mindset, and I just loved her response.

“Love is awaiting if you just relax.  When you say “I love you to another person, you totally relax.  When we just let go into what’s already there, there is love.  Love is awaiting.

‘I love you’ means ‘you remind me of myself.’ Your spirit is coming to life, waiting for you.  The love mindset is the state of mind where you can just allow yourself to feel love all the time and allow it to heal you and fuel you.

We need love to live, and intuitively we all know that, but there isn’t a lot of practicing going on or we’re waiting for someone to help us.  We’ve got starving people everywhere, just completely suffocated from love.  By adopting a love mindset we can nourish our souls we can nourish those parts of ourselves that need love the most so we can be balanced in our lives.”

If you’d like to find out more about Vironika or buy her book (which I highly recommend), I invite you to visit her website: www.Vironika.org.

If you would like to hear our entire interview from my radio show, you can listen now by clicking here.

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