Life Lessons Learned from Dad | VictorSchueller.com

Dad and me in 2004 when I graduated from Chiropractic School

I have to say that I had special relationships with both of my parents.  I had special moments with both of them.  My time with my mom was usually spent goofing and joking around, and just being silly (and like friends in many ways).  It’s not common for boys to enjoy going on shopping trips with their mothers (at least I don’t think it’s common), but I always enjoyed those trips with my mom and cherish those memories of those outings dearly.

My dad and I had a much different relationship than I had with my mom, but different doesn’t mean bad, by any means.   While my mom and I were like friends, my dad and I were like pals.  I remember sitting on my dad’s lap in the evenings as we watched television as a family.  I would rub my hands along my dad’s rough stubble on his chin, and play with the wedding band on his finger, pulling it off and putting it back on again, and just talking about things in general.

As I got older, he was the coach…I don’t mean that figuratively; he actually was a coach.  He coached some basketball and lots of baseball.  He was a little league coach for over ten years, and he was very successful.  He started when my older brothers were playing, and he continued to coach for a few years after I was done with little league.  My dad was an excellent teacher — he always taught his athletes the fundamentals, and he was a student of the game.

My dad also got me hooked on the Green Bay Packers.  A die hard Packers’ fan, he has Packer yearbooks from every season, starting from the late 1960s all the way up through last season.  Back in the day, before my mom passed away, he was so meticulous with his yearbooks!  It was awesome…He would keep track of who the team signed (and the date they were signed), who they cut (and the date they were cut), and the scores of every game of every week throughout the season.  To look at his yearbooks from those years, it is like looking at a historical record of the Packers and the NFL in general.

My most memorable moment of my time with Dad: When my dad and I were alone in the hospital after my mom was killed in a car accident and he told me that she had passed.  I’ll never forget that moment with him.  He ended up driving down to Indiana and back to Wisconsin that same night to pick up my older sister from college.  I can’t imagine what was going through his mind on that trip…

My fondest memory of Dad: Seeing how proud he was of me when they formally introduced me, along with my fellow classmates, as a Doctor of Chiropractic.  I’ll never forget that moment either!

My dad is still around — he will be 71 this summer, and he is in great physical and mental shape.  In honor of Fathers’ Day, I wanted to share with you the life lessons my dad has taught (and continues to teach) me:

The Green Bay Packers rock!  I was hooked…Back in 1989, I started sitting down and watching the Packers play on TV with Dad.  They were pretty good that year, so it was easy to get hooked.  The next couple of years were lean, but I was hooked.  My most fond memory of watching Packers’ games was in 1992 when the backup quarterback, Brett Favre, entered the game after our star quarterback, Don Majkowski, got injured.  I remember turning to my dad and remarking that we were doomed now that he entered the game.  Okay, so I was just a little off the mark there!  A couple of years ago he shared that he didn’t get around to getting a Packers’ yearbook!  I couldn’t believe he was in danger of ending his streak!  I gave him mine from that year so that he could keep the streak alive! 🙂

Value your children for their gifts individually — don’t make comparisons between your children.  My parents had six children.  My two older brothers were very athletically gifted and active in sports.  My dad loved sports, and I did too, but I loved music and acting more!  I was pretty active in sports through middle school and about halfway through high school, but after that I stopped participating in sports and committed fully to music and theatre.  I know my dad would have preferred me to continue playing sports, but he never said a word to me about it.  He respected my decision, and never compared me to my brothers.  He supported me fully in my artistic endeavors.

Your children want and need you to set limits, even if they don’t recognize it.  My dad was the heavy most of the time in our family.  My mom preferred to stay on the kids’ good side, which has its benefits and drawbacks.  My dad, however, frequently drew the line and came down on us if we were out of line.  He established clear limits for us, but in the end, that discipline and structure was important for us.  Children need to be provided limits and boundaries, so that they can grow into respectful and functional adults.  I thank him greatly for providing limits on me as I grew.  While I didn’t always appreciate it at the time, I have grown to love him for it and respect him greatly now that I have my own children.

Enjoy life to its fullest.  My dad had a rough decade — his 50s.  At the age of 52, he lost his spouse in a tragic car accident.  It was tough on him, and I saw it first hand.  He had a lot to deal with.  He suddenly was solely responsible for two minor children, with two additional children who were in college and still connected to home.  He had to deal with the insurance companies after the accident and related legal matters; he was responsible for getting psychologic counseling for his children as well as himself, and he still had to go to work and earn a living.  I remember right after my mom passed, when he would go to the vending machines at work and buy hamburgers and sandwiches from them and bring them home to heat up for our supper.  As an adult and trying to put myself in his shoes, it must have been a very scary and sad time for him.  It was for us kids, and most of us didn’t have any “real” responsibility, so I can’t imagine how it was for him.  My dad lives a great life now — he got remarried, is retired, and golfs most days of the week.  We’ve talked many times about life in general, and he always tells me to cherish life and make the most out of it, because it can change without notice.  “Enjoy life to the fullest,” he tells me.

Keep yourself physically fit.  My dad ran — a lot.  He would come home from work and run between four and five miles several times a week.  Talking to him now, he tells me that it was one of the best things he did to give him better health now that he is older.  He said he is in better physical shape than many people his age, and his mind is still sharp.  This is no surprise, because increased physical activity is good for the body and the brain.  As I got myself back in shape ten years ago, the image of my dad running on the country roads back home was a powerful example and motivator.

It’s not too late to learn how to do something new.  My dad started playing golf in his mid 50s.  He has continued to get better at the sport, and he’s actually pretty good!  He would kick my butt any day.  I don’t know if I’ll ever take up golf, because I blasted through a couple wrist ligaments digging my club in the ground back in 2003, but knowing that he took up something new at that time in his life sets a great example for me.  I know it’s never too late to try something new!

Thanks, Dad, for always being a great example for me!  You have always been someone I admire, and it continues still today!  You are a great man and a great father!  I thank you for all you have done and continue to do for me, and I hope that I can make you proud to be my dad.  I love you!