Is Our “Wanting” Preventing Us from “Getting?” | VictorSchueller.com

I know I’ve written about it and spoken about it before.  The ego is not our friend.  Not by a long shot.  And, you and I both may know that the ego restricts us from reaching that “whatever-it-is-that-we-want-to-be” type of place we’re wanting to be.

Upon much reflection as of late, I’ve come to ask myself this question: “WHO is the ego?”  Or, asked in an alternative way, “WHAT is the ego?”

On the surface, the ego is that conscious entity that fills our awareness with lots of thoughts.  The thoughts usually come to us as a “voice” or “stream of phrases and ideas” that are perceived internally.  And, the reason why the ego is not our friend is because the ego can only exist if it can convince us that we need it to stick around.

The way it attempts to do this for us is by telling us that we’re either better than others or not good enough (usually more of the latter).  We continue to compare ourselves with others, and wonder why we are such a failure, or why we can’t accomplish what we want to accomplish, or why we are such miserable excuses for people, or why we aren’t a “better” person all around.

Congratulations, ego.  You’ve done your work.  You can stick around…You’ve gotten “into our heads.”  You’ve got us thinking, and not about the things we necessarily want to think.

But, then again, “WHO is the ego?”  Where does it come from?  The ego is consciousness.  It has to be, right?  It has to be because we are consciously aware of it.  The ego usually enters our awareness in the form of conscious thoughts.  Yes, we can choose our thoughts, but as the chooser of thought, are we not also the thinker?  Who’s doing the thinking?  Who’s doing the listening of the thinking?

“WHAT is the ego?” Is it a part of us?  It has to be, right?  Otherwise, if we don’t acknowledge that it’s a part of us, then where does it come from, and why in heaven’s name is some external entity coming along and putting thoughts into our heads?

So here’s where I am so far: There’s this “thing” called the “ego” that we don’t want in our life, because it does more “less-than-wonderful” things than “wonderful” things for us.  It is consciousness, because we are aware of it, yet, it must be originating from within us, otherwise we would not be able to be aware of its presence.

As far as I can determine at this juncture, “WE” are the ego.  The ego is us, or at least this “being” that we’ve come to identify as “I.”  The “ego” and the “I” are inseparable.  They are one and the same.

So, here’s the rub and the difficulty, from my standpoint: If the “ego” and “I” are inseparable, how can “I” eliminate the ego without eliminating the “I?”  As Alan Watts puts it well, “It’s like trying to bite your teeth.”  The “thing” that you’re trying to eliminate is the “thing” that needs to do the eliminating.  You can’t do it!

As much as we want to eliminate the entity that is the ego the more it sticks around.  It’s like telling you to not think about a white rabbit.  The first thing you’re going to think about is — you guessed it — a white rabbit.  The more we consciously try to eliminate it, the more it persists.  And, forget about trying to get rid of it, because the “I” who is trying to eliminate it is one and the same entity.

Well, then what are we to do?  How are we to get to that “whatever-it-is-that-we-want-to-be” type of place we’re wanting to be?

We’re already there.  This is it.  It’s the “now.”  This is life.  Full of its struggles, surprises, twists, turns, and adventures.

Everything we “want” is here.  In that, I mean that it is with what we do “here” and “now” that gets us to the next “here” and “now,” and so on and so forth.

When we begin taking in “what is” and focusing less on what we “want,” we hold the universe in our hands, and it holds us in its hands.

You see, there is no “I” or “you” or “anything else.”  It’s all the same universe, with perceived boundaries and separateness and differentiation.  We come from this universe and it affects us as much as we affect it.  We’re one and the same.

This “wanting” “stuff” is “noise,” in my opinion.  It’s our conscious creation.  It comes from linear thinking — thinking that leads us to believe, for example, that there is such a thing as “time.”  And, if you think time is anything else than a perception that we have created, let me ask you this — what differentiates “present” from “past” from “future?”  Where is the definable, hard “line” that separates all three?  It’s a continuum that has no beginning or end or separations.  Everything we define as the “past,” “present,” and “future” is all happening at once, beyond our level of perception.

So is it possible that our “wanting” is preventing us from “getting?”  What is it that we “need” to “get” anyway?

I’m still trying to figure it out.  If you have any thoughts, let me know.

Photo: https://www.flickr.com/photos/victorianevland/12505301425