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My radio show broadcast on Monday was my first of the year. I wanted something and someone who would start off the new year with a lot of energy and enthusiasm, so I invited none other than “the World’s #1 RADICAL True Self Facilitator” and author of one of my favorite books, The RADICAL Self Expert, Tiphanie Jamison Van Der Lugt, to join me for the show.
What totally caught me off guard was the suggestion of a topic to discuss, but I absolutely loved it, because I was so intrigued by it:
“Does fear really exist?”
As far as I was concerned, I just operated from a position of assuming that fear exists. After all, it is the emotion of fear that allows us to be in a position to protect ourselves, either by running away from or fight against the threat that caused the fear emotion.
However, Tiphanie contended that fear really doesn’t exist. What she believes is that fear is non-existent. Her theory is that instead of fear, there is either excitement or greater awareness.
Tiphanie said that we learn early on what fear is. For example, if a child is getting ready to do something and they start to experience emotions of excitement or butterflies in their stomach, the parent, trying to help the child cope with their feelings, may say something like, “Don’t be afraid.” However, when the parent says this to the child, as good as their intentions may be, the parent is now defining what was previously undefinable to the child. Before the word “afraid” entered the conversation, the child didn’t really have a word to describe that feeling of excitement that they are feeling.
“Fear and excitement are the same energy,” Tiphanie added. She introduced me to the quote from Fritz Pearls:
“Fear is excitement without the breath.” So true.
But, she didn’t stop there. She asked a great question: “Does fear really keep us from doing things?” She then gave the example of how it’s not really fear, but greater awareness that helps a mother lift a car off of her child or allows an eight-year-old child to deliver a baby. It’s not fear, rather it’s greater awareness. Tiphanie added, “We pull from our higher self and do tremendous things…We are stepping into the fullness of our greater being.”
I just love that!
So, thinking about practical application for myself, especially since I have young children, I thought of an instance where I actually applied this concept without even thinking. I recalled how when we were on a recent vacation my older daughter wanted to go on a roller coaster. I never mentioned “fear,” “scary,” or “afraid.” Rather, I kept telling her how much fun it was going to be. I told her the coaster would be fast, but I would be right there with her and it would be a lot of fun. It was!
My younger daughter is turning five in about a month, and she knows that she’s getting some shots during her doctor’s visit around her birthday. Applying this concept, whenever we discuss it, I’ll continue to reinforce to her how she will do just fine and that she has experienced worse. I can safely say this since she just got her ears pierced the other week and was in a bit of pain. Having gotten my ears pierced and sitting through an injection, I can safely say that piercing your ears is more painful. I’ll continue to remind her that she’s already been through a more painful process, so she should pull through the shots just fine.
What are your thoughts? Does fear really exist?
Can you think of a time in the past where “excitement” was defined for you as “fear?” Can you think of opportunities where you can instill excitement or confidence in someone instead of defining their feelings as “fear?”
Let me know your thoughts. I’d love to hear them.
If you’d like to hear my interview with Tiphanie, click here.
