Ten Years of Growing in Love | VictorSchueller.com

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On Friday, Shelly and I will be celebrating ten years of marriage.  On what is known as the “longest day of the year” because of the longest duration of daylight of the year, we will always remember the special day it was.  The weather was absolutely beautiful.  The temperature was in the mid 70s with a slight breeze and not a cloud in the sky.  It was a joyous day of celebration with many friends and family.

After ten years, we do look back with some sadness over the people who celebrated with us that day who are no longer with us.  We have the memory of them permanently preserved on our wedding video, but the melancholy that ensues from seeing them grabs at our hearts and leaves us yearning for yesteryear when we could enjoy sharing wonderful times together once again as we had always done.

But, with ten years having passed since that day, much joy and celebration has happened as well.  We look back at our family and friends, many who did not have any children and were just beginning lives as families, now richly blessed with young ones who have brought such new life and energy into everyone’s lives.  Shelly and I have enjoyed welcoming two wonderful young ladies into our lives in these ten years, and our only regret is that they weren’t around to celebrate our wedding day with us!

As I reflect on these past ten years of my life, so much has changed.  Ten years ago, I was still a student in chiropractic college, looking forward to my last year of school (finally), and with my sights set on working as a doctor in a clinical setting.  If I had a conversation with “ten-years-older Victor” back then, and he could tell me what I would have waiting for me, I can say I would have been enthralled, surprised, overjoyed, and super excited for what was in store.

If I could ask “ten-years-older Victor” how I would change, he would have told me, “Victor, you will experience so much growth in these next ten years.  You will hardly recognize who you are, but you will be happy with the results.”  And with a laugh, he would follow with, “Unfortunately, the growth will not come when it comes to your hair.”

After enjoying the humor that it seems only I appreciate, I would have shifted to a perplexed state, and I would have asked “ten-years-older Victor,” “How will I have grown?”

And he would say to me, “You will grow in love.  The love you have for your wife will grow exponentially.  Your love will continue to grow, day by day.  You both will face tremendous hardships.  You will be hanging on to your life together by a thread, but through it all you will pull together, work together, and find that your love in ten years will be stronger and deeper.

You will learn a new love — a love you can’t possibly understand — when you see your daughters’ faces for the first time.  Yes, you will have two daughters, just like you’ve dreamed!  The feeling you get when you meet your girls for the first time and watch them grow into some fine young women is something you can’t know now, but you will.

You will learn self love.  You will learn to love yourself first.  You will learn a new level of self respect.

You will love God more.  You will grow spiritually and learn what a joy life provides you with each and every day.

You will love others more.  You will see others as brothers and sisters in this same wonderful world.

You will love your life more.  You will find tremendous fulfillment in helping others and connecting with people who need to hear your message.

If you’ve think you’ve faced hard times, Victor, you haven’t seen anything yet.  There are trials ahead.  You will be tested; you will be at the end of your rope.  You will question everything in your life, and you will sometimes find yourself full of self hatred.  But trust me, these hard times and tests will push you to grow into something larger, bigger, better, stronger, more compassionate, more empathic, more patient, and more loving.  It will take time.  It just takes time.”

Wow…What a ten years it’s been…But through it all, I’ve indeed learned to love more.  I’ve got a lot more to learn about love, but I like where I’m headed.

I can’t wait to hear from “ten-years-older Victor” to hear what’s in store for me this next decade.  In the meantime, I will enjoy the opportunity to reconnect with friends and family, and enjoy the love we have grown to enjoy these past ten years.