A “Million Things” Couldn’t Keep Me from This | VictorSchueller.com

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This spring has been super busy for me.  Let me just start by saying I am usually busy, but this spring has been just so especially busy.  It seems like I have a million things that I know I absolutely have to do, and then there are those things (like writing) that I don’t have to do, but I absolutely love to do them, and they fuel my fire to come back and engage in the madness once again.

Have you ever been in that position?  Where you know there are things you have to commit your time to, but the number of items keeps going up and up?  I’ve been looking for ways to decrease the time I spend on the mundane and unnecessary.  One of the things I did was start really looking through my emails and unsubscribing from lists that are no longer relevant to me.  I am not exaggerating when I say that I probably spent a good half hour of time per day sifting through (and just deleting) emails from my inbox, which I knew I had no desire to read.  To be honest, either the messages don’t resonate with me or I no longer need to hear it.  In some other cases, the only time I hear from some is when they want me to buy something from them or buy a product they are pushing, and I don’t need that right now either.

Even after I looked at ways I could minimize unnecessary tasks, I still stare at the list of what seems like a “million” things to do.  One night, it all hit me, and I confess that I felt horrible until I got it right the next day.  I am just glad it only took less than twenty-four hours to rectify the situation, but upset that it even required rectifying in the first place.

It was around eight at night, and my girls were in bed.  Ava, who is four and doesn’t have school, will come back out, on occasion, and ask if she can sit with me for a while and watch television.  While I am not a big television watcher (especially as of late — no time!), I love gathering her up and on to my lap to watch something that she enjoys.  Well, this particular night was one of those occasions, where she came out and wanted to sit with me.

The problem was that I had already settled in to do my work.  I was digging in, and I had a list of about four items that I felt I absolutely had to complete before I went to bed that night.  There was a hard deadline — no flex at all.  Ava came to me and asked if she could stay up with me.  I said to her, “Ava, I have work to do tonight.  You can stay up with me, but I have to work.”

She grabbed some of her “Barbie” dolls and started playing with them a bit, and then she asked me, “When you’re done with work, can we play?” 

I said, “I have lots of work to do.  I won’t be able to play for a long time.”  I continued to work on the computer.

She played a bit more, and then asked, “Daddy, how about we watch a show on TV.”

I said, “You can watch, but I have work to do.”

I looked at the clock, saw that it was after eight, and finally said, “No, Ava…It’s late.  You need to get to bed.  Go to bed.”

She put down her toys, and without saying anything, she went to bed.  Ava’s a good girl who listens very well without arguments.

With my head down in my computer, I continued to work, and then, it hit me.  It was a sinking feeling…A “worried” feeling.  It was a feeling of anxiety over everything on my plate.  I started to grow frustrated and think about the drastic measures I had to take to just lift some time off of my “to do” list.  I felt like a nervous wreck.  I know I was tired, and that was 90 percent of it, but still, I was not feeling good about life in general at that moment.

As I thought about my feelings for a moment, I realized exactly why I started to feel the way I was feeling.  It was because I allowed my “to do” list to stand in between what my heart wanted.  I let my work get in between me and my time with Ava.  I put work before family.

That’s not okay with me.

Going to bed with a heavy heart was not enjoyable.  Some may call it guilt; I just call it being “pissed off and regretful” at the same time.

The next evening, I made sure that I was available even if work was calling.  The work can always be done, well after Ava has trailed off to sleep.

Since that evening, there have been a couple of times when I had an evening visitor.  My lap is always open now.  Even today, when I had a few hours in the middle of the day before going off to work for the evening, I took advantage of the opportunity to spend some quality time with Ava, watching some shows she enjoys.

No longer will I let a “million things” get between me and what is really important.  My family always comes first, and now I make sure I remind myself of that.  Time doesn’t move backwards.  Brianna and Ava will only be young once.  The “work” will never age; it will always be there.  My heart knows where I need to be.

What are some things you refuse to let a “million things” keep from you?  I’d like to hear what you value the most!

Photo source: freedigitalphotos.net

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