Listening for the First Time and “Not Knowing” | VictorSchueller.com

“Listening From Not-Knowing frees you in the moment from automatically conditioned responses.  You move from Success to Mastery.” ~Dianne Collins

On Tuesday I was on the phone, conducting an interview for an upcoming radio show broadcast with Dianne Collins, author of the book, Do You Quantum Think?  I had Dianne on my show before, and between our conversation and her book, I have learned so much about quantum thinking, quantum physics, and the characteristics of the mind.  I knew I just had to have her on again.

This time, I was going to make sure I asked her one question — and get her response: “Why is it that we know that living out of love and compassion is the way we want to act, but we struggle so hard acting upon it?”

The answer turned into a conversation that lasted well over an hour!  Don’t worry — I captured it all, in case you want to hear the totally awesome conversation.  I was just stunned and in awe over the information she shared with me during that conversation, and I walked away having learned so much, and wanting to still know more!  One of the things we discussed was the concept of “mastery” of our minds, and using this “mastery” to choose our relationship to the thoughts that enter our minds, and thus allow us to embody the type of life we know we want to live (one that is rooted in love and compassion).

One technique or strategy that Dianne recommended to achieve this “mastery” was to practice “Listening from Not-Knowing.”  She explained that if you have a conversation with someone, especially someone you have a long history with and in which you know pretty much everything, it’s easy to come into that conversation as if you already know “what this person is, what she or he is going to say, or you are listening as if you already know ‘the answer.'”

She continued to say that if you approach the conversation instead from a position of “not knowing,” then a couple of things happen…First of all, you allow for a space to develop that the other person can fill with information and insight; secondly, by being receptive and open to everything they are saying, as if you hadn’t known this before, you exchange an energy with the other person that conveys that you are “locked in” and fully engaged in the conversation.  It decreases the stress placed upon the other person in the conversation.  I thought this was a great tip.

I shared how I was eating lunch with my daughter at her school right before our conversation, and one of her classmates was sitting next to me pointing out various objects in the cafeteria, and sharing with me what she thought the objects were.  For example, she pointed to something hanging from the ceiling, and she was telling me how she believed it was a camera that the principal used to “spy on the kids” when they were eating to make sure they weren’t causing any trouble.  Instead of correcting her or shutting her down, I simply accepted what she said, from a position of not-knowing.  This allowed her to feel comfortable continuing the conversation and communicating further.

Dianne also stated in her book, “When you listen from Not-Knowing you connect to the realm of creativity, of ingenuity, of the ability to dance with what reveals itself to you.  There is excitement in the air.  Just doing this consciously brings you into a highly present state, into the ‘now’ moment.  Then instead of being stale, you will be fresh.  The moment will be alive.  This is what gives you access to your own Mastery.”

I love it…So true…

So beyond simply trying to embody what you know you want to be, by listening from “Not-Knowing,” you can accomplish a couple of things — number one, you can deepen your relationships with other people (your lover, spouse, child, friend) by being a better listener, and, number two, you can develop a state of Mastery, where you can become more creative, innovative, present, and alive.

I see no downside to this!  Give it a try today!  Practice listening from “Not-Knowing” and see if you (or those around you) notice a difference! 🙂

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