The Simple Gift of Putting on Another’s Shoes | VictorSchueller.com

“The great gift of human beings is that we have the power of empathy.” ~Meryl Streep

Yesterday was the first day of class for one of the courses I teach at the college level.  Most of the time, because of the heavy use of online activities for my courses, I get a lot of questions from students, so after class, I stayed after to answer questions from students.  As I finished answering questions, I had two young women who were telling me that they were hastily checking to see if there were any course activities due before class started, and that while they didn’t find anything and assumed that nothing was due, there was a certain level of stress and anxiety this had caused them.

I had never thought of this possibility before, this being the start of the eighth year that I have been instructing at the college level.  It never occurred to me that because I never specifically indicated in my communication to students before classes started that there weren’t any assignments due by the first day, I may be adding to the normal stress and anxiety of a first day of class, when there are so many uncertainties in the first place.

Hearing the relief in their voices when they were explaining how they were happy to know they hadn’t missed something or missed a deadline spoke right to my heart.  I explained to them that I don’t ever want to cause anxiety or stress upon a student, most especially on the first day.  I shared a story with them about a time when I was taking a class, and didn’t realize myself that something was due by the beginning of class.  I joked with them that I simply left the class in the middle, went and wrote up the assignment, and then handed it in when I got back.  They got a good laugh out of it, but I was serious — I actually did that.

I think that being an instructor who can empathize with students makes for a great learning experience, both for the instructor and the student.  I don’t know how many times I have structured my class specifically because I want to make a learning process more comfortable and convenient for my students, simply because I was uncomfortable and inconvenienced as a student myself.  The “not having anything due the first day of class” is one of those — I didn’t like being put in that position myself, so I don’t want to put my students in that position either.

The opportunity to be empathic exists far beyond the classroom.  We don’t have to be classroom teachers to realize the chances we have to make a difference in someone’s life and make them more comfortable and make things more convenient.  If you have children, no doubt you think back to things you experienced as a child, and structure your parenting in a manner that makes childhood more comfortable and convenient for your children.  If you have a spouse or significant other, no doubt you try to put yourself in their shoes and contemplate what it may be like to be experiencing what they are experiencing, or think about how they would feel if you did or said something.

We were designed to be empathic beings.  Sometimes in the business or the stress of each day, we fall prey to the raw emotions and the ego that drives our decisions.  Sometimes we find ourselves thinking only of ourselves, and our thoughts of others and their well being are secondary.  Sometimes we are too busy viewing our circumstances and interactions with others as threats, or sometimes our negativity stands between us and our opportunity to be great.

If you haven’t done so today, take time to think about others, and how what it’s like to walk in their shoes.  Think about something you could say that would lift their spirits, or something you could do to make their life a bit easier or more wonderful.  It’s that simple gift that we can give to others — the gift of our empathy — that can really change someone’s day for the better.

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