Actions speak louder than words, but something else speaks loudest

“They may forget what you said…but they will never forget how you made them feel.” ~Carl W. Buechner

As a homeowner, parent and a spouse, I am inundated with decisions to make.  The decisions are endless, and the insight into what makes an intelligent one still escapes me.  I can make many a decision, however, it’s the whole “intelligent” modifier that presents the biggest obstacle. 🙂

Here are two of the most common thoughts that I have endorsed through my life of making decisions: 1. “I’m trying to make an objective decision,” and 2. “I don’t want my emotions to get involved in making this decision.”

It tuns out that those two comments, or some variation of such, underscore two of the biggest misconceptions and mis-truths that exist in regard to the human mind and decision making.  The truth of the matter is that essentially all of the decisions that we make are a result of an emotionally driven thought process.  Great…It turns out that deciding to endorse those two misconceptions is another “non-intelligent” decision on my part.  Add it to the tally…

Antonio Damasio, professor of neuroscience at the University of Southern California, has done extensive research on how emotions are involved in decision making.  His research has suggested that people are unable to make decisions when they are unable to tap into their emotions.  The basis for this conclusion?  He has studied those who have suffered from brain damage to areas involved in generating emotions, and has found those people unable to make even the most simple of decisions.  You can see an interview where he discusses this by clicking here.

Does this knowledge really change anything?  It can.  The best leaders are the leaders who tap into their emotions when making tough decisions.  The literature is out there across multiple authors who say it.  It doesn’t mean that they are subject to emotional swings — it just means that they are in tune with their emotions when it comes to making decisions.

Maybe knowing how significantly emotions are involved with future decisions that I make in my life and by becoming more in tune with my emotions, perhaps I can become a better dad and spouse.  I need to remember that it’s not necessarily the words that I use, but rather how I make others feel when I say them.

We are emotional beings, whether we like it or not.  Our emotions have a profound influence on us daily, as we are responsible for making a seemingly endless number of decisions.  Not only that, but we have to consider the fact that we respond to how people make us feel more than what is actually said.  Let’s look to embrace emotions as a strength of ours, rather than a shortcoming.  Actions speak louder than words, but emotions speak loudest of all!

Have a great day!

-Victor