The mentality of competition versus collaboration — the giant chasm

“Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.” – Helen Keller

In 2007, I was a contestant in a singing contest which was modeled in many ways after the show “American Idol.”  One week we were to do a song in the category of “oldies,” and I picked Frankie Valli’s “Can’t Take My Eyes Off You.”  In preparation for the show, I choreographed a sequence where I would pick someone from the audience and play it up, hopefully to both have some fun with the audience and get some votes from the judges.  The thing is I never let on to anyone that I was going to spring this choreographed sequence during the competition.  I just sang the song like normal throughout the rehearsals, with no choreography.

When the time came, I took a deep breath and just went with it.  I had a great time, running all over the stage, sliding on my knees, jumping over a chair, and playing it up with the audience.  The audience seemed to like it.  As I was walking off the stage, the next competitor waiting in the wings looked at me with a forced grin on his face.  He motioned over to me, and pulled me close so he could say something in my ear.  His words were, “Thanks for showing me up, @sshole.”

Thinking back to that moment when he said that to me, I often think to myself about how it could have been different.  Just think about how it would have been for both of us if he had flashed a huge grin on his face, pulled me close, and screamed, “You nailed it!  Awesome!  Great job!”  Just think how that would have affected his performance.  He would have been jacked up, and he would have absolutely nailed his number.  Instead, it was clear my performance got to him.  He thought so much about my performance that it negatively affected his performance on the stage (in my humble opinion).  I saw a missed opportunity, but how often do we all miss these opportunities?  How often do we allow single, small moments to define our days, weeks, months, years, or lives?  How often do we allow the actions of others to have such a profound influence on our actions?

The choice to be competitive versus collaborative, in my humble opinion, is the difference between being good enough and great.  It is the difference between a “me” mentality versus a “we” mentality.  There exists this huge chasm that separates the “me” thinkers from the “we” thinkers.  The jump is huge.  In order to achieve any level of true greatness, one needs to make that jump from “me” to “we.”

Whenever we feel threatened or that someone has invited us to a fight, our “thinking” part of the brain isn’t the first to react.  It’s the lower, more primitive areas that become active.  These areas shoot stress hormones down our spines, and the adrenaline kicks in, causing our hearts to beat faster, our lungs to breathe more quickly, and we prepare to defend ourselves.  It negatively affects our performance, and usually results in undesirable (and potentially embarrassing) behaviors.  If we allow it, the lower, more primitive centers will hijack the rest of our thoughts, and our thinking brain never really gets involved.

I ask you to join me in taking on the challenge of catching yourself when you start feeling those emotions of fear, jealousy, competition, anger, or any other feeling that is based on your desire to further your own agenda at the cost of, or at least without consideration to, the agendas of others.  Let’s work on consciously being aware of our feelings, and let’s remind ourselves to step back and think about how we can become more collaborative.  Let’s work to continually strive to bring out the best in everyone.  Let’s celebrate the successes of others, help each other, and do what we can to bring the greatness out in the collective whole.

True greatness comes from collaboration, not competition.  Let’s be great together!

Have a great weekend!

-Victor

Photo source: freedigitalphotos.net