True or false – More for me means less for you?

“People with a scarcity mentality tend to see everything in terms of win-lose. There is only so much; and if someone else has it, that means there will be less for me. The more principle-centered we become, the more we develop an abundance mentality, the more we are genuinely happy for the successes, well-being, achievements, recognition, and good fortune of other people. We believe their success adds to…rather than detracts from…our lives.”
~ Stephen R. Covey

When we think about how much of something there is, many times we think in finite numbers or amounts.  For example, when you buy a box of cookies, there are only so many cookies in the box before they run out; the day after Thanksgiving, there are only a limited number of laptop computers available at a promotional price; there are only so many seats on a plane; there are only so many tickets available for that big concert.

When we look at human behavior when dealing with limited or finite quantities of something, we see that people operate in a more selfish manner.  No doubt this is a survival instinct — back when we were hunters and gatherers and limited food was available, we had to get in on what was there to survive.  If you told me that a missile was headed toward my city of residence and there were some buses available to get only a limited number of people out of town to a safe location before the missile struck, you can guarantee I would be scratching, clawing, hitting, pushing, or whatever I could do to make sure my wife and children got on one of those buses…

A scarcity-based mindset doesn’t necessarily bring out the best in us.  It makes us selfish and less concerned with the goodwill or well-being of others.  The problem we encounter is that sometimes we apply a scarcity-based mindset to situations where scarcity doesn’t actually exist!

You don’t have a finite quantity of love that you can extend toward another person; there aren’t limited numbers of compliments that can be handed out; there aren’t finite numbers that you can assign to available gratitude or well wishes.  There isn’t a finite amount of any positive or well-intentioned emotion or gesture.  The problem is that some people operate as if this were so.

The result is what we too commonly see — a power balance issue with people who engage in bullying; jealousy and envy directed toward other people because they are getting something we don’t have; sabotage of character and spreading of rumors with the intention of undermining another’s reputation; comments toward others designed to make others feel bad.

Positive emotions, compliments, well wishes, gratitude, and good feelings are not limited in quantity — they are found in abundance.  Just think about how differently you would approach the situation I described with the buses leaving town to safety if I told you that there were as many seats available as there were people who wanted to get out of town.  Instead of chaos and disorder, you would find that people would act in a much more civil manner, and people would actually be looking to help each other find a seat on a bus, instead of fighting over one.

When we operate in terms of abundance, rather than scarcity, we become less self-centered and ego-based, and we become more cognizant of the needs and wants of others.  When we can shift our mentality to serving the needs and wants of others, we are better suited to empathize and be more compassionate toward others.

I challenge you this week to identify any possible areas of your life in which you are operating unnecessarily with a scarcity-based mindset, and replace it with abundant thinking.  You will receive a boost of positive self esteem and empowerment as you realize that your joy and pleasure in serving others increases exponentially.

Have a great day, filled with abundant goodness!  Best wishes!

-Victor