Avoiding the “violence” of judgement

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” ~Mother Teresa

As a parent of young children, I especially enjoy watching my girls perform a task for the first time, especially one that I would consider myself to be rather routine.  A few days ago I watched my younger daughter take apart the sections of a small orange.  While I find myself taking apart the sections from “inside” to “outside,” she did entirely the opposite.  It got me thinking about how we all may do things differently, but what does it matter if in the end the outcome is the same?  There is more than one way to do something.  One person’s way of doing things may differ from another’s way of doing things, but who’s to say one way is markedly better (or right)?

The truth of the matter is that we are often inclined to judge others and determine whether their actions are right or wrong.  This comparison is usually made in relation to our own perception of what right or wrong is, or based on our preferences.  Are we really in a position, however, to judge whether one’s way of doing things, or whether one’s position or opinion on a topic is right or wrong?

In an article written by Peggy Smith, who will be joining me next week on my radio show, she describes Gandhi’s definition of violence.  In her article she shared his quote, “When I make myself or the other person wrong in my own thinking, that is the seed of violence.”

It’s true.  How many times do our judgements of others lead to the vilification of others?  How many times do we engage in subtle violent acts toward others because of our judgement of what is right or wrong?

Maybe we need to spend less time being caught up in the judgement of what is right versus wrong, or more specifically, who is right or wrong, and focus more on what the intentions or needs are of the other person.  When we focus on those things, then we can open communication and build a connection, rather than slamming shut the doors of opportunity for understanding.

Just because it’s different doesn’t mean it’s wrong.  Let’s build bridges, instead of slamming doors.

Have a great day!

-Victor

Photo source: freedigitalphotos.net