Category Archives for "wellness"

Thoughts are powerful.  Without the power of thinking, we would not progress as a society.  We would lack innovation and creativity.  We would not enjoy the advent of new technology and the benefits of such.  However, sometimes “thinking” can get us into trouble.  But the reason why may not be the reason you “think.”

The reason is that, tragically, in my opinion, many people believe “thoughts” to be things that really aren’t at all proper thoughts.  To demonstrate, I’ll provide two different examples of “thoughts” to allow you to distinguish between the two:

Example 1: “I think that the most efficient way to communicate with others is to enter their information into a mailing list database, whereas I can send them all communication at one time with the click of a button.”

Example 2: “I think that she is trying to be efficient because she is sending me communication through a mailing list database.”

So, which “thought,” of the two given examples above,  is a proper thought?

If you picked the first example, then you and I are in agreement.  And here’s why — The first “thought” is a reflection; it’s an observation.  It’s a reflection of our reflections.  It’s internal.  It may be the result of deliberation and experiences and the sum of many different experiences that lead to the formulation of an idea about something.  That is what I would deem a “proper” thought.

The reason why I do not agree that the second example is a proper “thought” is because the use of the term “think” in that second example is not a reflection or an observation, even though it may appear to be such.  In my opinion, the term “think” is rather an interpretation, or judgment, or analysis of another’s behavior.

Just because you “think” she is trying to be more efficient, you only have the facts available at your disposal, which is that you are receiving email from her through a mailing list.  The rationale behind the observable act is anyone’s guess, with exception to the person who is sending emails through that database.

Now, if you were to ask her person why she is sending emails through the mailing list, and she tells you that she is doing it because she wishes to be more efficient, then you have your answer.  But until you know the facts of the situation, all you have is speculation, conjecture, opinion, judgment, analysis, guesswork, hunches, hypotheses, stabs in the dark, and supposition.

This brings me to the point I am trying to bring across to you today: I advise you to be cautious about what you “think” are “thoughts” that really aren’t proper thoughts at all, because they can end up causing more problems than you’d prefer.  Or, perhaps you’ve already been using them and are trying to figure out why you’re suffering and things aren’t quite as wonderful as you’d like.

Either way, I recommend you give some time to reflect upon what is really a “thought” before you start telling people what you “think.”  Unfortunately, in my opinion, we’ve been conditioned to freely interchange one type of “thought” with the other type of “thought.”  When we tell people we’re “thinking,” what we’re really telling them is how we are interpreting the actions of others.

How can you tell which is which?  Here’s a very easy way to discern between the two — ask yourself what comes after the word “think.”

If the word “he,” “she,” “they,” or “you” follows the word “think,” chances are it’s an interpretation, diagnosis, judgment, and speculation.  This will likely land you in the land of debate and argument and discord.

For example, if you say to someone, “I think that you are being unreasonable,” what do you think your chances are of the other person saying (sincerely), “You’re right.  I’m being completely unreasonable!  Wow.  Boy, did I make a mistake.  My apologies!”  I’ll put it this way: don’t hold your breath waiting for that type of sincere response.

The reason why you won’t get that type of response is because you interpreted and diagnosed the motives behind the observable act that took place.  Before you jump into saying “you’re being unreasonable,” back up and figure out what “unreasonable” looks like.  What actually happened that led to your diagnosis of such?  That’s where the conversation needs to start, in my opinion.

So, what are you thinking?  Are you disguising judgment and diagnosis as a thought?  Or, are you truly and authentically reflecting and contemplating internally?  Take some time to properly “think” about it, and take some more time to “think” before you tell other people what you “think,” and I “think” you’ll be in a much better place as a result.

Photo: https://www.flickr.com/photos/seatbelt67/502255276

Do you brush your teeth twice a day? If you’re like the majority of Americans, you do.

You might think that this is an odd question to start off with on the topic of happiness, but it actually couldn’t be better placed. One of the few habits that has become universally accepted focuses on the health of teeth. And just like perfect teeth don’t come without daily brushing, success and wealth don’t just happen overnight; they are the result of a lifestyle. A set of simple, daily tasks that, compounded over time, lead to one’s ultimate success. If perfect teeth, wealth and success are the result of simple actions repeated daily, could a qualitative trait such as happiness develop in the same way?

After over a decade of research, Shawn Achor, a world-renowned positive psychologist and the author of the Happiness Advantage, has finally found the answer to this question; and I want to share his findings with you. In just two minutes (the time it takes to brush teeth) we can form habits that are scientifically proven to improve mental health and happiness over time. To make matters even more exciting, Shawn has discovered through his research that it is actually happiness that ultimately leads to success, not the other way around like the age-old theory suggests. So if happiness is the result of a simple set of daily habits, and also ultimately leads to success, what can we do to become happier?  Without further ado, I present to you Shawn’s five habits of happiness:

1. Gratitude

An extensive study on the subject of gratitude cites that a one-time act of thoughtful gratitude produced an immediate 10% increase in happiness and 35% reduction in depressive symptoms. Although the effects disappeared after six months, there is a way to permanently increase happiness. In another test, participants were instructed to write down three positive occurrences and their causes every night for one week. The long-lasting impact was incredible.

 “After one week, participants were 2% happier than before, but in follow-up tests, their happiness kept on increasing, from 5% at one month, to 9% at six months. All this, even though they were only instructed to journal for one week.”

There will always be positives and negatives in life, so you’re far better off directing your attention to the positives.

 2. The Doubler

An article by Joseph M. Carver, Ph.D., suggests that the human brain cannot distinguish between imagination (visualization, dreams) and actual experience. We can use this knowledge to live a much happier existence. Once per day, especially when feeling down, focus on one positive experience in your life and write down as many details as you can remember from it. The details should range from the environment of the experience, to emotions you felt during it, to the clothes you were wearing at the time. If we simply bring ourselves back to a positive experience in our imagination, our brains will react in the same way as if we were actually there.

 3. Fifteen Minutes of Cardio

Doing fifteen minutes of cardio per day has been scientifically proven to be as effective as taking a daily anti-depressant. I could write more on this subject, but you’re probably already aware of the endless benefits of daily exercise. It puts you in a better mindset, releases endorphins, and promotes clearer thinking.

 4. Meditation

It’s hard to deny the remarkable short and long-term benefits of meditation; it helps to reduce stress, decrease anxiety, lower blood pressure, boost the immune system, increase optimism, and the list goes on. You can read about some of the science behind meditation here, here, and here. The goal is to slow down, be mindful, and focus on nothing but your breath for as little as two minutes every day. As long as you are consistent, you will see tremendous changes in your life due to this simple practice.

 5. Send a Positive Email

Before doing anything else in the morning, open up your computer and send one positive email or text to anybody who has had an impact on your life. It could be a thank you note to a middle school teacher, a coach, a professor, a co-worker, or even the hippie you randomly met at a festival. In his book, Shawn Achor describes a study done at Harvard that shows a significantly stronger correlation between happiness and social connection than the one between smoking and cancer. If you do nothing else, do this for twenty-one straight days. There is a much better chance that this simple practice will increase your levels of happiness than there is that you will get cancer from smoking. Make your messages personal and do it first thing in the morning.

If you want to start living a happier, healthier, and ultimately more successful and abundant life, try doing just one of the five things listed above every day. If you can, turn all five into daily habits; it may be easier than you think. If you brush your teeth for 2 minutes a day in order to have a healthier mouth, why not focus on keeping the most important part of your body healthy…? Your mind.

About the Author, Emily Cedar:

Emily is one of the “kids” who started The Kid Monks blog.  In addition to working on her blog, she loves to explore, create, travel, do crossfit, meditate, and chill outdoors.  She bleeds maize and blue and considers herself an optimist when it comes to Michigan Football.  You can contact Emily at emily@thekidmonks.com.

Image: Vishwas Krishna http://goo.gl/5KhRZ4

We’ve become a “distraction-seeking” people. We have grown uncomfortable with “nothingness” and silence. We seek stimulation, but unfortunately the stimulation we seek in the form of entertainment is filled with disagreements, drama, judgment, name calling, discord, and more.

How can we ever determine what WE believe to be best for us when we are only listening to the opinions of others, and not our own?

If we don’t take time to relish silence, we’ll never hear that voice within us that is the true revealer of our most pure self. In silence we find the wisdom and guidance (and answers) that we need most to live our lives to their fullest.

For the better part of a month now, I’ve given up radio.  It used to be part of my daily routine.  I used to listen to it as I got ready in the morning, and while I drove to work as well.  And then, it dawned on me — the radio was a distraction from things that really mattered to me.  It was noise which was drowning out what I really wanted to hear, so I gave it up.

To be more specific, I used to listen to a lot of sports radio.  I did it because I loved to listen to sports news.  I’d love to keep informed on what was happening with my favorite sports teams (namely the Green Bay Packers), but then I realized something: sports radio (and radio in general) was a lot about things that just didn’t matter that much.

Do I really need to know about a pending contract of a player?  Do I really need to know how much money someone is making or about this change or that?  Do I really need to hear about what a player has to say about a game, which serves most of us as mere entertainment?  Do I need to hear commercial after commercial?

The truth is that listening to radio — any type of radio for that matter — doesn’t help me grow as a person.  It doesn’t help me become more of who I want to be.  It doesn’t help me search inward to find out what discoveries I can make to improve the things I don’t like about myself.  All it does is help me focus on other people and their affairs — things that absolutely make no difference to me or my life at all.  I can truthfully live without knowing over 99 percent of what I’d hear on the radio or other news outlets.

Does that leave me out of the loop on certain breaking news?  Absolutely.  Am I clueless when it comes to the latest controversy or riot or gossip?  Yes, most of the time.  But, you know what?  If I really want to know what’s going on after someone brings it up, I have no problem finding all the information I need by looking online.  Not counting sports radio, I’ve really not watched or listened to the news for years — literally.  Did I know the ins and outs of what was going on in Ferguson?  No, not really.  Did I need to know everything that was going on?  Obviously not.  Still here, still living, still doing okay in the world.  I still know the latest news when it’s big enough because I see or hear other people talking about it — either in person or on social media.  I get what I need.  And, we don’t need much, in my opinion.

You see, I’m trying to be more in tune with myself, and I’m trying to listen to me — the real me — the deep me that has the answers I need.  I don’t need more noise on top of everything else.   I don’t need distractions.  What I need is silence.  What I need is the opportunity to have the space to reflect.  I need the silence to talk to the “me” that I want to talk to.  Silence provides me with the opportunity to ask questions, find the answers, and search deeper and deeper within myself.  That’s what I need.

And that’s why the radio stays off, and that’s why I have felt more grounded and more connected ever since.

Are you thinking of doing the same?  Here are some things I have done to take the place of the “noise.”

I’ve been using Spotify.  I found a radio station which is simply called “meditation.”  It’s great.  YouTube also has some great relaxing music.  Do a search for “meditation music,” or “relaxing music” or even “relaxing soundscapes.”  As a matter of fact, one of my favorites is  soundscape which is ten hours of the sound of running water.  I love it.  If you’re a fan of Pandora or i-Heart Radio, you can essentially do the same thing with those apps.

I use my smartphone and plug it into a FM transmitter in my car.  My car then becomes a “meditation machine,” and I can ride to work listening to music that allows me to reflect.  Sometimes I’ll grab a lecture or lesson from a teacher on YouTube and convert it to an MP3 and load it onto my phone to listen to as I drive too.  There are lots of options.  Regardless of what you choose, simply making the choice to do something for yourself, rather than immersing yourself in the affairs of others, has the potential to connect you with much more satisfying experiences.  I encourage you to give it a try if it sounds like something you’d enjoy.

Have you grown tired of entertainment?  Has it just become “noise” to you too?  Are you looking for deeper inquiry and deeper self reflection?  Let me know.  I’d love to hear about it.  Leave a comment below.

P.S. – And, for the record, I have not given up doing my radio show, which is intended to help people.  I’ve given up listening to radio that doesn’t help me (or others).  I just realized the title of the blog may be misleading… 🙂

Image source: http://www.freeimages.com/profile/phre3a

Before you do anything else, open up a new window or tab on your web browser and go do a Google search for the following: “How can I be happy?”

When I did it, I got about 615 million results.  I know how Google searches work, and not all 615 million hits will be entirely relevant, but it’s pretty clear looking at the first few results that there are a lot of people who have advice on how to be happy.  There are a lot of people who are looking to be happy too!

So I am openly wondering: If there are so many people seeking happiness, are those resources and references really helping?  Or, are people trying some of these, discovering that some work or don’t work, and then slipping back into “unhappiness” once again?  I mean, if there was a way to find happiness, wouldn’t we have figured it out by now, and wouldn’t we have shared it many times over and passed this from generation to generation so that we can all find happiness and keep the happiness going?

Or is it possible that happiness is not the tippy top?  Is it possible that there is yet a higher “thing” we need to pursue?  Is it possible that we may find happiness, but is it not also possible that happiness only gets us to the middle point of the mountain?

As I’ve been reflecting and meditating on this idea, I’ve come to the conclusion that there just has to be more.  There has to be a higher level of experience that we can all experience than happiness.  And, if we can work to pursue and eventually arrive at that higher level we may find what it is that we’re really looking for that we’ve thought was happiness all this time.

Is it through pursuit of something larger than one’s self?  Is it passion?  Is it developing a life full of meaning?  All are suggested avenues of achieving greater ideals than happiness itself if you take a gander out there and search for something “better” than pursuing happiness.

Maybe happiness is a form of “avoidism.”  Perhaps the pursuit of happiness and pleasure an indication of one’s attachment to them.  Is pursuing “non-attachment” to pleasure what it takes?  The Buddhist tradition suggests that suffering results from “attachments.”  I’ve been actively integrating these principles into my daily living.  I know that I feel better about life in general, but is that the “tippy top?”

I guess all I can say is that I’ve come to the conclusion that whatever the mountain is that we are all trying to reach the top of is an enormous mountain.  It’s huge.  There are a bunch of people struggling to just started on it, and there are people who are climbing higher, but the higher one climbs the fewer the other people at that elevation.  I’ve also come to the conclusion that while one like myself may have a lot of ideas and answers, it’s not about giving others the ideas and answers that I’ve found for myself.  It’s more about helping other people learn how to ask themselves their own questions to prompt their own personal discovery that lies within them.

Is happiness all there is?  I don’t think so.  And, I don’t think that we are wise to live a life in the pursuit of happiness, assuming that it’s the tippy top of the mountain, and that once we get there everything will be better.

I hope you didn’t come to this article, hoping that I would provide you with what it is that is “better” or “higher” than happiness, because I don’t have that for you today.  I don’t have a list of things that you can do or try to find more happiness or fulfillment.  If you’re looking for that, pick one of the 315 million hits that I helped you find earlier.

I wrote this with the hope that my questions will prompt your own inner questioning and discovery about yourself and what is important to you.  Is happiness where you wish to stop on the mountain, or do you believe that there is “more” to life than the pursuit of happiness?

I’d love to read what you’re thinking or what you’re reflecting upon as a result of reading this.  Please share in the comments below, and I promise to respond.

Photo copyright Steven Bratman. Images shared via creative commons license. Click here for link to image.

If you struggle to keep your emotions in check, or if you believe that you have a hard time staying “in the moment,” you’ll want to watch this video. I’ll share with you a simple strategy that you can do to instantly convert your raw, unharnessed emotions into productive, warm, and healthy emotions. You won’t want to miss this valuable lesson!  Check it out now!