Category Archives for "Meditation"

How you can use attention to decrease stress and overwhelm

It’s very easy when you are busy to let the pressure of getting things done (or not getting things done) to cause overwhelm and anxiety. It’s that idea that there are “always things to do” that perpetually leaves us with an unending list and reminder that our work is never done.

We seek an escape from this relentless pressure to perform. We try to find relief by seeking activities which are pleasurable and fun, but despite our best efforts, we still can find ourselves running from pleasure to pleasure and again feel that same “chasing after things” feeling. We end up right back where we started, realizing that we’re too busy!

Struggling to find balance

The challenge of finding balance between our work and home is very real and very difficult. And the more we seek balance, the more stress it can place upon us. You may be reading this, by now asking yourself, “Just what doesn’t cause stress and overwhelm? Everything causes overwhelm!”

Presence is the key

You see, simply striving for things is the cause of unpleasantness. Having a list of things can cause us to be less than happy if we allow the idea of us failing to check everything off our list to be a reminder of our failures or unmet objectives.

Whenever we set ourselves up to have to perform to a certain standard, or accomplish a certain task, only to not meet that objective, we are setting the stages for stress and overwhelm. For example, if we strive to send out thirty thank-you cards by the end of the day, yet fail to do so, that in itself can be a stressor.

It’s the failure to accomplish what we desire that is the source of pain. It is the unmet objective. It’s the reminder that we’ve failed to deliver for high performers that is the source of stress. There is a very real solution to this problem, and it comes from simply using presence as you live your life.

What is presence?

Presence simply is the act of deliberately attending to whatever you are doing at the present moment — that’s it. Whether it’s washing the dishes, typing an email, folding laundry, working to accomplish a “to-do” on a list, or anything else, presence is simply being 100 percent in the moment and engrossed in the present moment.

The reason this works is because you are not thinking about what else is on your list of “to-dos.” You are not focusing on what you didn’t accomplish in the past. You’re not worrying about the future, as it has not yet arrived. When you are engrossed in the present, the only thing that matters is now.

The reality is that this is 100 percent true anyway. There is no past or future — just the now. It’s just that we spend our moments in time travel, worrying about the next ten things we need to do, or reminding ourselves of the last ten failures to deliver on our promises to ourselves, thereby robbing us of the wonderful present moment. In reality, the present is all that exists.

Your mind can only handle one thing at a time. No matter how hard you try, your attention can only be fully placed on one thing in the present moment. The stress and overwhelm comes when you mentally try to juggle multiple things at one time.

How you can put this to practice

Lists are great

We can only do one thing at a time. Write a list of all the things you wish to accomplish. If you want to make this even more powerful, write down six items you wish to complete tomorrow — write them down before you go to bed. Then, one at a time, complete those items the next day. Do one at a time, and only begin the second item after the first is completed, and so forth.

Hand off the overload

Some people find it helpful to take a full inventory of all the things they would like to accomplish, and then realize the improbability of doing it all on their own. Let’s face it — it’s unlikely that we mere mortals can do everything.

Why not divide your list of things to do into two columns? Make one column the things you are going to work on, and then make the other column with items that you know you can’t get to in the near future, but you are giving it up to the “universe” or God, or whatever supernatural presence that is way above and beyond you as far as capability of making things happen.

You’re not going to do it anyway, so why not give it up to a higher power? At least then you have a chance of it happening outside of your own physical doing!

When we find the ability to simply remain in the present moment, we will harness the power it possesses — the calm, the focus, the efficiency, and more. Presence is more than a practice — it’s a tool that we can use every moment of every day to capture the best we have to offer the world we live in.

Why should we continue to agonize over what we need to do? Why not simply choose one thing to focus on, and then see it through, fully engrossed in its beauty, until it is completed? Then, we get to live the wonderful experience again, simply by choosing yet another thing for which we can be present, and do it all over again.

Presence is a gift we can give ourselves, and it is so simple to practice, and so wonderful to experience. Today’s a great day to start.

We all experience pain in its many forms.  Whether it’s physical pain, sadness, anger, frustration, disappointment, shock, confusion, or worry, we’ve come to know pain as an unwelcome guest in our lives.  Pain can frequently visit us in its many versions, as it can pave the way for sleepless nights, arguments, stress, anxiety, or other unpleasant side effects.

But what is pain, really?  What does pain truly represent and mean to us?  When we begin to investigate the nature of pain and its source, we can come to terms with its properties and value to us and see it for what it really is.

Pain provides us with awareness

While we may tend to share the opinion that pain is undesirable, the reality is that pain is neither good nor bad, or desirable or undesirable.  It just is.  When we experience physical pain, we are obviously made aware of physical damage or distress somewhere in or on the body.  Likewise, if we can realize that pain in its other forms, such as sadness or anger, has the capacity to shine a light on an aspect of our life that leads to personal discovery, pain can be a powerful feedback mechanism.  The key to allowing the pain to serve as a feedback mechanism is to dive deeper than the superficial experience of the pain.  While you may feel sadness, you may not be taking the opportunity to really experience it on its many levels and understand what it really is to you.

Pain resides in our passion

Diving deeper with an inquiry into our pain can provide much insight as to why we are experiencing it in the first place.  This provides us with an opportunity to go below the superficial experience of the pain and really gain an understanding of its source.  Upon further investigation, you may come to realize that pain resides in our passion.  When we care so deeply about something, such as being accepted by others, having peace in the world, or kindness between people, if we see a contradiction to or violation of that ideal it causes pain.  For example, if I was passionate about keeping my house clean, and someone comes into my house and makes a mess, I will experience the pain of frustration, anger, resentment, or even sadness.  Because my passion is cleanliness, but I see a contradiction, I experience pain.

Our natural painkiller – Indifference

With the understanding that pain provides us with awareness, and that awareness leads us to discover the passion behind the pain, we can move to resolving it within us.  The long and the short of it is that we can eliminate the pain through indifference, although in practice this is not so easy and takes time and patience.  However, if you can simply develop the awareness of the source of the pain, this is an important step in moving forward along the process of removing the pain from your life.

I suggest that you first find something else in your life about which you are indifferent.  For me, for example, I would say that I am indifferent about NASCAR.  How do I know I’m indifferent about it?  I know because I don’t care about who the drivers are, what races they’re in, when the races are, or who wins.  I have absolutely no interest in the sport, its competitors, or outcome.

Once you find something that you are indifferent about, you can examine the experience of indifference.  Take time to learn what indifference feels like to you, and how it creates a sense of ease and subtle strength.  When you are indifferent you are not affected by an outcome and you feel unattached.

After you have had some time to spend in that indifference, it’s time to return to your passion.  Now you can spend time in the process of inquiry, asking yourself just why this is a passion to you and why it is so important to you to maintain this passion.  Only you can answer these questions, and only you know what your next steps will be.  Sometimes simply understanding the nature of the pain and its source provides comfort and relief of the pain when it comes.  Awareness alone has the capacity to soothe and heal.

The bottom line is that pain is not necessarily bad or undesirable.  It’s something that leads to our awareness if we take the time to understand it.  That awareness can lead us on a path toward the elimination of the pain if we can come to understand the passion in which our pain resides.  Through meditation and contemplation, you can uncover the nature of your pain and its source and determine what the next steps are for you.  Understanding our pain is a journey, but on that path, you may transcend it to experience peace.

Photo: https://www.flickr.com/photos/practicalcures/22784724783

When I mention the word “meditation,” what comes to mind for you?  For some, the idea of meditating is uncomfortable, because to be honest, it’s not a familiar concept.  Some may conjure up images of a buddhist monk with a shaved head in deep meditation, and think that they are not able to do what they do, so they don’t even try.

For some, meditation is not well described, so they don’t know how to do it.  Some wonder if they are just sitting there, letting whatever comes to mind come to mind, while others wonder if it’s about thinking about nothing, and if something comes to mind,  pushing it out of the mind and going back to that blank slate.  Some people just “don’t get it,” so therefore they don’t even try it, or if they do try it, they don’t “feel” any differently, so they stop.

Still, for others, while they hear that meditation is beneficial, they really don’t understand what the real benefits are to meditation, or if they’ve tried it, they haven’t experienced any real benefits from their attempts.

The truth is that meditation is beneficial to you, but it takes some time for the benefits to appear.  Think of it this way — if you were to fill a bathtub with water, and then place a drop of red food coloring into that tub of water, would the water in the tub turn red (or even pink)?  The answer is no, of course not.

However, if you continue to add those drops, drop after drop, of red food coloring, eventually the color of the water will change.  This is akin to meditation, where day after day, time after time, eventually the benefits begin to arise and come into realization.  Meditation is a practice, and when you begin, some days are better than others, but as you persist in your practice, you become more focused and consistent, and the benefits become more numerous.  Meditation is also very personal and experiential, so it is difficult to predict or describe what meditation does from one person to another.

But, in case you are looking for more immediate benefits of meditation, I can share with you three things that you can expect to have happen rather quickly when you adopt the practice of meditation:

You benefit from silence

Silence is a gift of which we often deprive ourselves.  Silence is not something to be uncomfortable with or fear.  Rather, silence provides us with a break from the onslaught of the environment on our senses.  If you feel uncomfortable with silence, that may be an indication that you are using sound or other stimuli as a distraction and occupation of the mind.  The unfortunate side effect is that you become more reliant on your emotional state to be influenced by external sense pleasures, rather than having the opportunity to go within and discover what is affecting your emotional state from an internal perspective.

You become connected

When you meditate, it is not a passive process.  What I mean by that is that you aren’t to be just sitting there, letting whatever comes to mind come to mind.  Meditation is a very active and focused activity.  When you sit comfortably, you close your eyes and focus on the area between your two eyebrows.  In this state, your attention becomes focused on how you are connected with all of creation.  Some people call it the universe; some people call it God.  Whatever you call it, meditation is your opportunity to focus on how you are one with creation, and creation is one with you.  You are a wave on the ocean, and the ocean is one with you.  When you can focus on this perspective — that in which you demonstrate and affirm your connection with all of creation, your egoic perspective begins to erode, and you benefit from a sense of interconnectedness and love for all things.

You realize how insignificant, yet important you are

When you meditate, you realize that in your connection with all things in the universe that you are merely a speck amongst the universe.  You are a flash; a flicker; a small happening within all that has happened and will happen in the life of the universe.  You realize your insignificance.  You come to understand that what is important to you may not be all that important to the trees or the grass or the sky or planets.  Yet, at the same time, you feel that interconnection with the universe.  You realize how unique and special you are, and you realize the true power and potential you have as a product of the universe.  You possess all creational power within you, so in essence, your potential and resources are unlimited.  While you feel so insignificant in some ways, you realize how significant and powerful you really are in other ways.

Whether it’s five minutes or 2 hours, any sort of meditative practice you can integrate into your life will greatly enhance it in time.  Remember that meditation is not a quick fix or the source of instant gratification.  Just like when you adopt a new way of eating, the changes do not happen in one day.  However, day after day, with consistent application and practice, eventually the results will become noticeable not only to you, but to those around you, and those results will be very positive for you and those around you as well.

Photo: https://www.flickr.com/photos/aigle_dore/6225530793